


I Like to Pretend

by prismbird



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: AU as Hell, Alcohol, Also yes it's teacher/student but the age gap is like 3 years, Alternate Universe - College/University, Communication, Don't worry I made sure they're both v mature, Established Relationship, Extra Chapters Coming, Finished Romantic Plotline, Fluff, Hanzo's a substitute professor, I mean Jesse's a hot mess but still, I mean it's pretty quick but it'll still take a while, Jesse follows Architecture cause... it fits for Hanzo and Symm, Jesse's the unmotivated student who's suddenly very interested, Lots of it, M/M, Mutual Lovin, Overwatch? Don't know her, Slow Burn, The last 5 chapters are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-03-13 12:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13570725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prismbird/pseuds/prismbird
Summary: Hanzo's a temporary substitute professor after Jesse's usual teacher had to go out of town for a few months, and Jesse, the unmotivated student, is suddenly VERY interested again.





	1. Substitute Professor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse's interest in school returns as there's suddenly a new, young, attractive guy taking the place of one of his least favourite professors.

**Thursday, October 2nd, 12:15**

A star. A crescent moon. A rocket ship, and clouds around it. An….. ampersand. A bubble? A few more stars could work.

Jesse yawned, pen scratching the paper in front of him. It’d been 15 minutes since the lecture was supposed to start and the Spatial Design professor, Vaswani, an excellent, celebrated, but mercilessly strict professional, had still not shown up. It wasn’t like her to be late. She’d usually show up exactly five minutes before the intended starting time of a lecture, glaring down anyone who entered after her and ruthlessly disciplining those who made the grave mistake of being late.

There was a steady whisper of confusion around the room, like the students were thinking they were all collectively mistaken about the time of the lecture, but Jesse honestly didn’t give a fuck where Vaswani was. He didn’t like her at all, and that feeling was mutual. Her not showing up just gave him more time to, legally, doodle. Not that he’s much of an artist, though. The doodles on his notes weren’t bad by any means, but they also definitely weren’t inspired. Often they were the exact same few shapes, simply because he couldn’t think of anything new to attempt. One would imagine he’d be better at them after he turned his lecture notebook into a sketchbook with its 9:1 doodle to note ratio.

Being unmotivated is probably not an uncommon experience for college students. Of course, Jesse had no idea if other students who weren’t Building Technology majors had the same problem, but after not even four weeks into the first semester, he had seriously considered dropping out. Well, that wasn’t really an option, after his father had pulled several strings to get him into MIT in the first place, with its excellent Architecture program. Jesse probably shouldn’t have mentioned his love for the intricacy and structure of the Vishkar HQ building after he’d went along on a business trip for the family business, but he couldn’t have expected his father to rush him into it like he had.

Following MIT’s Architecture program had not been a bad experience, it just wasn’t what Jesse wanted to do. Not that he had a clue towards what he did want. He’d been thinking about that for several years- after his 16th birthday where his father explained his plans for him and Jesse immediately decided against it. The moment he’d turned 20, the old guy started bringing him on business trips, hoping his son would learn something. Jesse had had some ideas about his future, but they never included the family business. Two years later, he tried convincing his father he should go off to college, and the old man let him, tired of Jesse’s apathy. So now, here he sat, in Massachusetts, stalling until he had a solid idea for his future. Not in another country as he’d maybe hoped, but still far away.

 

Maybe he should try the dog again. It’s been turning out better the past few times he’s tried. Start with the U shape for its face, and two little ears to the side. Two front legs, a slightly curved back---

His thought progress was interrupted by the familiar sound of the hall’s door closing, a loud bang, after the mechanism holding the door from slamming closed broke. It’d been months, and it still wasn’t fixed. Students who came in early would always signify their arrival with the startling noise, but hearing it this late into the lecture - even if there wasn’t one, so far - was unexpected.

There was a new person standing at the door, looking back behind themselves with wide eyes, also startled by the loud and sudden noise of the door. It was a young man, looking around the same age as most people in the room, but dressed noticeably more formally. Most students in the room were dressed in very casual, comfortable clothes, tired of having to care. Of course there were still some dressed as if they were at a business interview, actually motivated to get somewhere in life, however, this new person in the room exuded an entirely different aura, looking formal, professional, and self-assured. Also, stressed. A look of worry that anyone in a fifty feet radius would be able to discern.

The purpose of this newcomer’s visit, though, became clear as he walked over to the desk in the front of the hall, placing his briefcase on top of it. The hall was eerily silent as everyone watched the stranger’s actions, opening his briefcase, taking out a laptop, opening it, typing a bit, more typing, then finally connecting to the beamer and moving in front of the desk to address the class as clearly as he seemingly could.

“My name is Hanzo Shimada. Professor Vaswani was called away to India for an urgent… urgency, so I will be your substitute for the time being. Does anyone here have any immediate questions before we get started?“

Jesse did see more than half of the lecture hall throw up a hand in the air, but only in the far corners of his eyes. He'd shut everyone else out, instead intensely fixating on this new person that just entered his life. Or, yknow, entered the room, but Jesse felt as though this person would be… interesting. Worth his attention. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

Maybe it was because Hanzo Shimada was, frankly, truthfully, undeniably, stunning. Jesse had no idea if it was the undercut, bundled up in the back into a small bun, the groomed short beard, the semi-formal outfit with the black dress shirt, unbuttoned at the top, or the slight nervousness he’d shown from the first moment he talked, but Jesse knew one thing for sure: if this guy was here to replace Vaswani, whatever was keeping her away, please, please keep her there.

Jesse carefully observed Mr. Shimada answer several of the class’s questions (with a certain stern urgency he recognised from Mrs. Vaswani, but was SO much more attractive on him), about when Vaswani would be back (a good portion of the class was relieved to hear it would take a month or three, though Jesse didn’t know if their reasons of relief were due to Vaswani, or Shimada), and about his credibility on the field of Spatial Design, before he realised he’d raised his own right arm as well. Jesse quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed, feeling an urgent want to lower it again but hesitating. He did have a ton of questions to ask Mr. Shimada, he just hadn’t formulated any of them yet.

It wasn't a problem until Mr. Shimada also noted Jesse’s curiosity, and after a quick glance over the seating plan (Vaswani had worked hard to seat everyone ‘perfectly’, according to her), Mr. Shimada soon had enough information on Jesse, and his irritating last name.

“McCree, in the flannel?”

 

Do you ever feel several emotions surging down your spine? Sometimes they make sense together. Sometimes they wildly conflict. Sometimes you don’t even know what the hell they’re supposed to be. Jesse McCree had a similar reaction at this moment, where he felt everything, immediately, all at once. Well, of course, not everything, but he would later be able to tell you he recognised the following reflexes:

  1. Flight response; The immediate need to leave this situation, to escape this unanswered question. Sadly, impossible.
  2. Fight response; The other hasted idea to assert a level of confidence, to impress this specimen of a man. Would be fairly easy if not for the complete lack of words suggested by his useless brain.
  3. Freeze response; A mental block. Thoughts? Nowhere to be found.



These three components are what eventually culminated into the first words Jesse McCree had ever spoken to Hanzo Shimada.

 

“So, um, where’d you get that shirt?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this is my first ever fic. My friend suggested the idea of "hot young substitute prof hanzo" and I ran with it. More fic is to come!


	2. Second Impression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse gets up close and personal with Hanzo ;) 
> 
> As in, he literally just moves forwards in the seating area cause he wants to stare.

**Thursday, October 2nd, 12:31**

"So, um, where'd you get that shirt?"

Jesse heard his own words, processing them as a good mix between confidence and curiosity, and was mildly satisfied with his question before realising Mr. Shimada had been silent for a good five seconds. Which led to the immediate wave of panic returning to Jesse’s body.

The awkward silence was quickly broken by a soft chuckle from Mr. Shimada as he took a few steps to the side, clearly unsure on how to answer Jesse’s question.

“Wow”, he finally answered, to Jesse’s relief. “I... wasn’t expecting... that.” He scratched his throat, regaining a casual composure. “Of course that would be the one question I didn’t prepare for.”

A soft laugh echoed around the hall. Jesse finally breathed again, though he still wasn’t sure if he really liked Mr. Shimada’s answer, so far.

“If you’re really curious, I got this shirt at Nordstrom. I’m... I’m not a brand name kind of person. Couldn’t afford that anyway.” Hanzo answered with half of a smirk.

Another laugh was heard throughout the hall. It was an answer that got to its point, just like the answers of the rest of the questions that were thrown at him, but this time there was the smallest sliver of hesitance. Jesse felt just the tiniest bit more at ease after hearing how simply Mr. Shimada had answered his question. The panicked feeling of an improvised moment didn't leave, though, not until they were far past the point of the introductory questions.

 

**Thursday, October 2nd, 18:52**

Jesse was at home, eating dinner, going over his lecture notes at a lack of anything else to do. He’d had a surprisingly easy time keeping up today, but he wrote it off as Mr. Shimada having done his introductory class, which was far more interesting than anything Vaswani could have ever done. And Mr. Shimada was barely managing, fumbling around constantly, which bore a strong contrast to Vaswani’s usually perfectly choreographed classes. The only doodle Jesse had managed to draw into his notes today was the dog he failed to finish before the new young substitute had entered the room. Jesse repeated himself, hoping Vaswani would stay wherever she was.

He saw his phone light up. It was always on silent just because the buzz was annoying and he checked his phone enough to not miss any urgencies. He turned his phone on, seeing that the notification it had just tried to inform Jesse of was an email from none other than the substitute himself. A generic and formal email informing everyone about the material the students would have to revise for the next week. He sighed. Just because the man was gorgeous managed to get everyone’s attention, he wasn’t immediately perfect, Jesse supposed. Maybe he should actually do the revision this week so next week he’d be among the few people who could answer some questions. It’d definitely make him stand out.

 

**Tuesday, October 7th, 11:48**

Vaswani’s usual classes were every Tuesday and Thursday, so after Mr. Shimada’s first class Jesse had a whole weekend to catch up with the necessary material for the following Tuesday. He entered the lecture hall, early as always, and noticed a number of people in the room having moved from their regular seats to somewhere entirely new.

Some had moved to sit near friends. Some, who had arrived at the first two lectures on time and afterwards only showed up late, with coffee and the look of sleep still prominent on their face, had moved right next to the entrances to the hall. Some had moved to escape the danger zone near the front of the hall where professor Vaswani usually fired any questions she had for her students.

Jesse quickly scanned the room, first locating the actually motivated and intelligent people who, luckily, had spread around the room a little more, making the crowd seem more balanced. Which meant Jesse could sit anywhere. He moved on to locating the people with laptops (power to them for thinking they could bring one to a lesson and not get distracted), and saw they’d moved over to the back of the room, so it’d be less apparent when they obviously do get distracted. Jesse definitely didn’t want to sit near them, cause the constant ticking of people typing annoyed him to no end.

He almost decided to return to his regular seat, which was fine, until he remembered the one other important factor that had escaped Jesse’s mind. Which was that he’d forgotten Mr. Shimada was, in all senses of the word, gorgeous. The first class that introduced the substitute teacher had been a fairly casual few hours, introducing Mr. Shimada as a young, friendly breath of fresh air. Jesse’s inner Hot Guy alarm had subsided a bit, only to surface again, right here, right now, in full urgency.

 

Mistaking the Hot Guy Alarm for a sound decision, Jesse immediately made a beeline for the mostly empty seats front and center of the room, where he’d get the best view of Mr. Shimada. If he wanted to get the substitute professor’s attention, that’s where he’d get it.

Finally seated, he took out his notebook and placed it open on his desk, glancing at the still unfinished dog as he flipped the paper to a new page. Taking out a pen to note the date in the top left, Jesse found himself unable to doodle anything besides it like he usually did, thinking too much about Mr. Shimada.

It was a simple crush developed quickly and shallowly based on the substitute’s appearance and endearingly unprofessional academic behaviour, but compared to previous interests he’d had in men, this one felt very unique. He was unsure why. Maybe it was due to Mr. Shimada being a professor, with the barrier of formality, but the guy could barely be three years older than Jesse. Which was still the most confusing part about Mr. Shimada being a substitute professor, putting his otherworldly looks aside.

The man in question was only ten minutes late this time, but he’d not let the loud bang of the door emphasise his delay. Walking down the steps to the front of the hall, he looked around the hall with a solid expression, which broke only ever so little with an essence of confusion after realising students were all over the room. Back down at the desk, he once again placed his briefcase, opened it, took out his laptop, selected the prepared slides, and connected it to the beamer. Then, not much unlike his first introduction, he walked back over to the front of the desk to address the entire space.

 

“So”, he started, voice clear and trying its best to portray the friendliness he’d exuded on previous Thursday, but failing to hide an underlying growl, “I see you’re... no longer where Mrs. Vaswani told me you would be. This is not a problem, seeing as how we all have already met, but... I’ll need a new seating plan, and if your new position negatively affects the class, I will personally relocate you to elsewhere. In-- In the room.”

Mr. Shimada’s assertive tone struck just right with Jesse. The substitute professor was clearly trying his very best to gain respect over people only a few years younger than him, even if he still sounded nervous, his plans for the lecture already set back. Jesse wasn’t sure how experienced Mr. Shimada was with teaching, but at least he sounded like he was trying his hardest.

“And I can’t promise you Mrs. Vaswani will approve of these new seats. She told me the seating plan she had provided for me had “everyone in their place”, so just don’t get too comfortable.”

Jesse definitely was not planning on staying front and center, but since he’d have Mr. Shimada until the new year, A little over two months, he was more than content right there. The professor was looking just as semi-formal as the previous lesson, now wearing a white button-up shirt under a comfortable looking navy sweater, both still pushed up to his elbows. Jesse, who clearly had a thing for this man’s fashion, found his mind wandering to the thought of being held by the young substitute. Not in any specific way… but definitely intimate. Warmth, was the only way he could describe it. The feeling it gave him. A wonderful feeling, really, with Shimada’s body heat turning the soft wool of the sweater into the perfect resting place...

A tap on his shoulder pulled him out of the daydream as a classmate handed him the new seating plan paper to write his name on. Putting some effort into making his handwriting just a little more clear, Jesse wrote “Jesse M” on the table he’d chosen to sit at and passed the paper over to the next person.

Attention quickly pulled back to reality, Jesse listened to the professor as he started the actual class, covering the information the class had been tasked to revise. Jesse was surprised about how easily he followed the information, in comparison to earlier classes. Granted, this was the first time since the first week he’d actually done the revision, but nevertheless, the information was easy to follow, clearly laid out, and Jesse once again had no problem summarising everything covered in his notebook.

 

About halfway through the two-hour lecture, Hanzo started asking the class questions. He’d explained the previous Thursday that he preferred involving the class instead of throwing out information for two hours straight.

“So who can explain to me why the Vishkar corporation, known worldwide for their leaps in infrastructure and among people like you as keepers of the prized internships in their form design team, has recently made news?”

Several hands shot up around Jesse, who had no idea. He still was only just interested in architecture rather than aspiring in its field, no matter how dreamy the substitute professor was, leaning against the desk a few feet in front of him.

Mr. Shimada silently pointed somewhere in the top right side of the seats, where a female student answered his question, explaining to everyone that the Vishkar corporation was found extorting citizens in the third world countries in order to enforce a certain kind of control. Jesse wasn’t really paying attention to whoever just spoke. It didn’t surprise him much that the Vishkar corporation was untrustworthy. They did business with his father, after all.

“Exactly.”, Mr. Shimada answered approvingly, continuing the story himself. “That is actually also why I’m here today.” Jesse looked up, the story suddenly having become interesting. “Mrs. Vaswani used to be affiliated with Vishkar, before she started teaching at MIT. After the story of their actions got out, she was forced to make a statement on the actions of her peers, and thus is staying in India with her family until things quiet over.”

Jesse found himself laughing under his breath at the irony of Vishkar indirectly bringing him the two things he did not need in life; the architecture program at MIT, which he hadn’t really wanted in the first place, and this substitute professor he’d developed a small crush on, who will just leave in a few months.

“Very well”, Mr Shimada continued, “Who…. Who here can explain why Vishkar was, or, maybe, still is, such a widely celebrated business in the architecture field?”

A few more students had their hands raised now, including Jesse. It wasn’t surprising to see the students actually interested in architecture knowing the answer to this, but Jesse had actually read about this in the revision. Maybe this crush was good for something.

Mr Shimada had looked around the room, satisfied at the amount of people knowing the answer, before he looked at the seats right in front of him, wait, no, right at Jesse.

“McCree?”, Shimada asked.

 

Hearing his last name, Jesse felt a familiar surge of nervosity running down his back, uncomfortably similar to the first time he’d met Mr. Shimada. This time it was rather because of how close he was to the young substitute, leaving even fewer options for escape. But he knew the answer.

“‘Cause... they had some tech they could manipulate anytime, right? I mean-- the hard light technology they’d made had created some city in India ‘n they could use it to… change the city around?”

Jesse felt an instant weight dropping off his shoulder when the silent look of mild confusion on the substitute professor’s face turned into the tiniest smile Jesse could imagine (it was the first time he was honestly happy with his decision to sit at the very front of the hall) as Mr. Shimada nodded.

“Correct. The city of Utopaea was created fully with the use of hard light. This allowed the company to easily control things like its infrastructure... traffic, and security, with hard light.”

The professor’s approval hit Jesse somewhere in his gut. He’d never quite understood what people meant with the word “butterflies”, but right now, he might have a good idea. For the rest of the lecture, Jesse sat, intently listening, heartbeat just a little elevated. This crush might be inconvenient, but it’s definitely helping him with school, so he couldn’t call it a problem.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you goooooo. chapter two. Enjoy!


	3. Swirling Lights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse goes out to drink and meets an attractive stranger. Maybe he can help keep his mind off of his... distractingly attractive professor.

**Thursday October 9th, 00:32**

Jesse was drunk. Well, he wouldn’t really call it drunk, but he definitely wasn’t sober. He’d had enough to get loose, letting the lights blur a bit more, letting the music hit a bit deeper, letting his movements swirl a bit further.

He hadn’t gone out to dance in a while. It’s not something he did often regardless, but Gabe had invited him over to go to some other club that a friend of a friend had told him about, somewhere way off-campus, and while Gabe wasn’t Jesse’s first choice of company, he didn’t have other plans. Now, he honestly had no idea where in the world he was. Could have been Massachusetts, could have been Vegas, could have been Paris. How much time had passed? No way to know. Where’d Gabe gone off to? Somewhere, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him right now was the music. The beat, dominating his movements. The bass, vibrating his body. The sound, controlling his every whim. He wasn’t sure he was happy with himself, but it simply didn’t matter.

 

**Thursday October 9th, 00:58**

Most of the room was a blur. Jesse was walking around, bordering on stumbling with how many people got in his way, trying to find Gabriel. They hadn’t seen each other since Gabe told Jesse he’d found some blond hottie he was gonna try and chat up, walking off immediately. Jesse had spent a good while after that on his own, trying his best to have a good time, which quickly led to alcohol.

People were indistinguishable. A girl in an annoying fluorescent pink tank top, a group spilling their drinks all over the floor, some drunk guy who was feeling the music far too much. Jesse weaved his way through the crowd, having trouble hanging onto his objective. Knowing Gabe, he’d be off in some corner, making out with some guy, spending the night in some other bed. Didn’t hurt to try and find him, though, before he was stuck finding his own way home.

He accidentally shouldered another guy, hearing glass shatter before he’d registered what happened. Jesse slurred out an apology and tried to walk off, continuing his search, before the other guy grabbed him by the arm and roughly swung him around, almost dropping Jesse to the floor.

 

“Hey, man, can’t you fucking… watch where you’re going?” the stranger had only just managed to get out over the loud music.

 

Jesse, only mildly doubtful of his own judgment, was pretty sure this guy was drunk, seeing how his breath was heavily whiskey-scented. Attractive, though. His dark hair was mostly flailing around one side of his head, sunglasses obscuring most of his expression. Jesse couldn’t help but check him out a little. He looked almost familiar… but Jesse couldn’t place him, so he just left it alone. The stranger wasn’t looking too happy anyway.

 

“Sorry dude, I’m.... kinda really tryin to find my friend here somewhere”, Jesse shouted.

The stranger took a while to reply. Jesse still couldn’t see most of his face, so he had no idea if the guy was just thinking of what to say or having a stroke. It really could have been either.

“Listen, man, it’s okay, but, like, that was my whiskey”, he nagged, sounding more disappointed than annoyed.

He looked almost genuinely sad. Jesse, who wasn’t really sure what he wanted to do anyway, decided to get to know this hot guy better. Fuck Gabe.

“Err… Hey, dude, can I getcha ‘nother whiskey?” Jesse pulled the guy a little to the side, rubbing his temple, somehow trying to rub out this headache he felt building up.

“Uh… um, er, yeah, sure”, the stranger had once again been silent, breaking through after realising Jesse had spoken. “Sorry, I was just thinking if I, like, knew you from somewhere.”

“Do y’know a Jesse? Cause, y’know, that’s me.” Jesse actually felt smooth.

The stranger thought for a few seconds, puzzled expression visible on his strobe-illuminated face, before he looked back at Jesse.

“No”, he shouted, “I don’t think so-- Do you know a Hanzo?”

Jesse had to think for a while as well. It sounded very vaguely familiar, but it honestly might have been because of how attractive the name sounded.

“I don’t think so, dude”, Jesse replied. “But c’mon, let me getcha that whiskey.”

 

Taking the stranger, or, Hanzo, by the arm, Jesse brought him over to the bar and asked the bartender for a double whiskey. Hanzo had taken off his sunglasses, revealing his face just a little more to Jesse, who was even more impressed with the intense stare his eyes emitted. They seemed to match the low growl with which Hanzo spoke. Standoffish, but inviting at the same time. Within half a minute, Hanzo and him were sharing a strange conversation, Jesse unsure who initiated it and why this guy was still talking to him instead of taking his whiskey back to his friends.

 

“So… why’re you still talkin’ to me ‘stead of taking y’r whiskey back to y’r friends?” Jesse still felt incredibly smooth.

“Nah, I came here alone”, Hanzo replied. “I live somewhere else but, just wanted to check out some other places, y’know”

“Ah, yeah, man, my friend brought me here ‘cause he, like, heard about it somewhere, but then fucked off cause he saw some guy he was into ‘n...” Jesse didn’t feel the need to finish the sentence, instead just taking another swig. It burned. He’s still more of a cocktail guy.

“And just... felt the need to make out with him?” Hanzo finished the sentence for him.

Jesse was taken aback a bit by how blunt the words sounded. But now the thought was out there, hanging between the two like a cloud of smoke. “Yeah, I guess”.

“Been there”, Hanzo replied, taking a large swig of his whiskey and not flinching in the slightest. Jesse was shocked, while unsure whether because of the whiskey or the implication that this hot stranger he’d met seven minutes earlier was not straight.

 

The drunk conversation continued, casual and laid back, ignoring what they’d just discussed, rather chatting about trivial things like their workloads (Hanzo apparently had some big... thing to do the next day and ran away to distract himself) and some complaints they both had that came out of nowhere. For a drunk conversation, it wasn’t really all that bad. Hanzo finished his whiskey early on, ordering another while Jesse slowly sipped his down, not completely hating the experience but also definitely not planning on matching Hanzo.

 

About fifteen minutes later, Hanzo sighed, put his sunglasses back on, and got up.

“Listen, man, it’s been great talking to you, but I gotta get home. Gotta work tomorrow and I need to get some sleep, at least.”

Jesse turned around, disappointed to see the attractively disheveled stranger go.

“Yeah, I should try ‘n find Gabe, or I won’t get home at all.”

 

Jesse’s phone buzzed. He slid it out of his front pocket to turn the buzz off, glancing over at the text message he’d just received.

“Ah. Nevermind, Gabe left to go to the hot blond guy’s house. Guess I’ll be goin’ back by train”

Hanzo looked in the distance for a second before turning back to Jesse. “How about… I give you a ride?”

Jesse looked up at Hanzo (or, admittedly, he missed his face the first time ‘cause he was still a bit too drunk to coordinate himself), surprised at this guy’s offer. It wasn’t uncommon to be offered rides home before by dates, but this guy was a stranger, they’d met just now, and this wasn’t a date - it was a slow conversation over whiskey.

But man, was he attractive. And non-threatening. Jesse might not have known him, but he was very willing to get to know him.

“Uh… Sure, man. Lemme just pay for the drinks.”

“Oh, no, let me. After all, I yelled at you.”

“Nah, man, I insist”, Jesse said, exaggerating a polite tone.

“...Alright then. I’ll go get my car.” Hanzo walked off to the exit, leaving Jesse wondering how the night had gotten to this point.

 

As he walked out of the club, it was raining heavily, neon signs reflected in the street. Jesse waited just outside the front door where there was a tiny overhang to wait under while the club thumped behind him. A Prius drove up to the front of the club. He stepped aside to let whoever wanted to get out, get out, until the side window rolled down and a familiar voice yelled at him to get in.

 

Inside the car, Jesse laughed under his breath.

“That’s the second time tonight ya yelled at me.”

“Well I hope this time was more useful than the first one.”

“I mean… I got to meet ya ‘cause of the first one. Also, did not expect you to drive up in a big fancy car like this. How old are ya, anyway? … ‘N aren’tcha drunk? Don’t wanna end up arrested, thanks”

“I’m 26. And the car isn’t mine. And I’m not really drunk.”

“Yea, y’know, last time someone told me that, I spent the rest of the night at the cops.”

“No, really, trust me. I guess I’m just a heavyweight. You, however, are far too drunk to get home, so… how do I get you home?”

“Wow. You are so weird.”

“Thanks, Jesse.”

Jesse chuckled again. He looked back up at Hanzo, who was still staring at him for half a second, before turning to the steering wheel. “So--”

 

Unsatisfied, Jesse grabbed Hanzo by his right cheek, turned him towards him, and closed the gap.

 

And kissed him.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is chapter three too early for the first kiss? Mmmmmm,,,,, I think not.


	4. Shared Alarm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse realises what happened. Unfortunately, so does Hanzo.

**Thursday October 9th, 11:00**

Jesse woke up to a loud noise. As far as he could, at least. He looked over through squinted eyes, seeing flashing numbers displaying 11:00 accompanying the noise. His alarm sounded unfamiliar, and his sheets were weird. And the light usually streaming in from the window was instead in another corner of his eyes, forcing him to roll over. Jesse grabbed his phone to turn off the alarm.

 

Wait. 11:00? That’s late. Too late. And what day was it? Thursd-- fuck. Fuuuuckfuckfuck. Jumping out of bed, he hastily grabbed a towel, shampoo, and clean clothes. He was supposed to be at Vaswani’s lecture in 45 minutes, and while he wasn’t awake enough to realise why, he was in a completely disheveled state. He didn’t have enough time to completely get ready and walk over there in 45 minutes.

He must have passed out right after coming home, explaining why he was still in his clothes from last night, and why his lights were all on. And his regular alarm for school, which woke him up two hours earlier, had a different sound, allowing Jesse to wake up more relaxed in the weekends. His phone lit up, right before he stepped into the shower. Oh. Gabe sent him a picture message of the hot blonde guy asleep snugly right next to him. How cute. “TMI, Gabe”, he messaged back. Water streaming over his body, memories of the previous night suddenly started coming back to him.

 

He remembers drinking. He remembers dancing. He remembers looking for Gabe.

And he remembers some guy… Some attractive stranger named... Hanzo. With the sunglasses, the long hair hanging to one side, the beard. The strong scent, and the stronger sensation, of drinking whiskey. And the rain, the music behind him.

 

And a kiss. He does remember a kiss.

 

He must have been a lot drunker than he usually was, cause he remembers the individual events. He just can’t seem to bring them together.

Drying off, he dismissed the thoughts, instead focusing on getting done as quickly as possible. He threw on an MIT hoodie, fitted jeans, and brown boots, tied his hair up in a bun, started a pot of coffee, tried to shove down two crackers for a balanced and healthy breakfast, and grabbed his notebook. Right. Vaswani wasn’t here, but Mr. Shimada. Which probably means he probably has more time to get to class. Thank god.

He grabbed his stainless steel thermos and poured the coffee straight into it, throwing it into a backpack along with his notebook, and walked out the door. It was a nice post-rain atmosphere, with the clouds gone, but wet leaves all over the sidewalks, and everyone consciously avoiding the puddles.

 

Walking into the lecture hall, five minutes late, Jesse was right - Mr. Shimada still hadn’t arrived. He did rush down the steps to his seat, though, as he wanted to seem fully prepared.

Just as he sat down, the loud bang once again indicated that the substitute teacher had arrived. He did seem hasted, though, racing down the steps at a pace most would consider jogging. He’s been late before, why was he so worried about it now? Barely reaching the front of the class, he threw his briefcase on his desk, fingers fumbling just a bit more trying to open it, taking out a laptop, and connecting it immediately.

It wasn’t until he turned around to address the class that Jesse really got intrigued in why he looked so stressed. His usually neat undercut, tied into a small bun, seemed rather untidy today, wildly flailing about. And he was wearing a simple black dress shirt, grey slacks, and black shoes, all looking like they were quickly thrown together, contrasting to his previously carefully chosen and usually accessorised outfits. Jesse was thrown off by the sudden change in his look, even if he didn’t particularly mind it.

Until he looked over and saw Mr. Shimada pull a familiar pair of sunglasses out of his briefcase.

Mr. Shimada seemed just as puzzled as Jesse over why it would be in his briefcase, but Jesse was not paying attention to him anymore.

Jesse was looking for a way out.

 

Why had he chosen to sit front and center? Why couldn’t he leave? Why did he even show up today? Had he seriously hit on his substitute professor last night? Wait.

Had he kissed him?

 

Memories rushed back to Jesse, everything suddenly falling back into place. The loose dark hair, the beard, the intense stare... granted, Mr. Shimada, or, Hanzo, did have very friendly eyes with his everyday teacher persona. But, well, fuck. He did really kiss his substitute professor.

Grabbing his thermos, he unscrewed the cup on one end and poured himself his coffee. He was gonna need it. Preferring to sip down his coffee over listening to the actual lecture at hand, he wondered if Hanzo remembered anything from the previous night.

The answer to that question became undeniably clear when Jesse made eye contact with the disheveled man in front of him, who froze in the middle of re-tying his hair. Confused, shocked, panicked, and then quickly back to professional neutral. If you blinked, you probably missed the series of emotions on Hanzo’s face, but for Jesse it was a second stretched out beyond time, like watching a bolt of lightning slowly following its path.

 

Hanzo turned to a different section of the room, failing to continue his sentence a few times before finishing up his hair, regaining his stature, and going back to the class at hand. Jesse kept intently watching him, though, and he was pretty sure Hanzo, too, was freaking out. Well, that made both of them.

Jesse really wasn’t sure what this meant for him, but honestly, it really isn’t gonna be great. Hanzo was his professor. Okay, substitute professor, but Vaswani did leave him in charge and if Hanzo was anything like her, tonight he’ll be packing his bags and on the first plane back to Santa Fe. And then he’d be forced to face his dad-- and that’s definitely going to fuck up his future. Dammit. He’d been drunk, sure, but he seriously doubted that to be a proper excuse. Fuck. This is not good.

Spending most of the lecture worrying, the two hours flew by. Jesse had mostly just doodled in the notebook again, sunglasses and whiskey tumblers added to the mix. At a few points, he’d told himself to stop obsessively worrying and pay attention to the subjects discussed, but every time he looked up, he’d see the face of this man who had seemed so incredible just 12 hours earlier, and now was actively avoiding looking at Jesse.

Rushing to pack the few things he’d brought to class and leave the building, go back home, and pretend nothing had really happened, Jesse nearly jumped when he looked back up and Hanzo had moved to the front of the center row, trying to get Jesse’s attention.

 

“Hey... McCree. Can we... talk? For a minute? Just… stay seated, please.”

Well, shit. Jesse had no choice but to oblige, as Hanzo probably wouldn’t just let him leave now.

He did as he was told, staying in his seat as he watched the last few people exit the hall, and watching Hanzo wave them goodbye, still emitting a very nervous tone. When the final student left, Hanzo turned his attention back to Jesse, with a look that the latter just wasn’t able to interpret. Hanzo beckoned for him, turning around to sit back down at the desk in front of the hall. Jesse once again obliged, standing up and walking over to the desk, backpack slung over one shoulder, his instinct screaming at him to run, but his logic knowing this was a conversation that needed to happen.

 

“So. McCree.” Hanzo begun. “Did anything fun, last night?”

Jesse’s brain flared for a second with the hope that Hanzo actually didn’t know what happened and really was just asking about his night. That quickly disappeared, though, as he knew Hanzo was asking because, well, because Hanzo also knew.

“Hey, man… er, Mr. Shimada”, Jesse begun, genuinely unsure of how to begin his reply. Well, here goes. “I was drunk. I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t recognise you, really, ‘n you seemed so nice, ‘n…” Jesse genuinely started to sound a bit panicked. He didn’t care. He was freaking out. “Listen, I was drunk, ‘n I didn’t recognise you, ‘n I shouldn’t have...” Jesse shut up. He was so close to rambling, and it was probably best to make this as reasonable of a conversation as possible.

Hanzo quickly got up, walking around the desk, scratching the side of his head. He seemed more in control of the situation, but his movements were still fast and erratic. He put a hand on Jesse’s back and brought him to some chairs that were standing at the very front of the rows of desks, letting Jesse take a seat and sitting down next to him, both turned towards each other.

“Jesse.” Hanzo begun. Jesse was surprised at hearing Mr. Shimada-- no, Hanzo, using his first name, even if he’d said it several times last night. “I didn’t recognise you either. I wasn’t drunk-- yes, you definitely were, so you looked pretty wild, and disheveled, not like I’ve seen you in class, and-- listen, I kissed back. This is just as much my fault as it might be yours.”

Jesse looked up. He’d listened to what must have been an explanation Hanzo practiced in the few minutes after class, but he was surprised to hear Hanzo blaming himself. And... he kissed back?

“You seemed too drunk to travel all the way back home on your own, so I offered you a ride, and you kissed me in the car. I kissed back, and you--” Hanzo cut himself off.

“I…?” Jesse prodded. Anything that might cut through the tension between them has to get out.

 

“You wanted to go back to my place-- but I declined, simply because I had to sleep before today’s lecture. So that didn’t happen. And I just brought you home. Or, well, I brought you to the neighbourhood and you said you could find your way from there. So I don’t even know where you live. But listen, I just need to ask you to keep this to yourself. Or, between us. I’m just as much on thin ice as you are, hell, I’m already failing at teaching---”

“I... wanted to go back to your place?” Jesse had said, the information having taken a few seconds to process. He sounded almost amused, surprising even himself. “I mean, I’m sorry I did, and again, I was drunk ‘n I didn’t recognise you, and--”

“I know, Jesse.” Hanzo interrupted him. “And if it helps, after I said no, you seemed mostly understanding but also too tired to press the matter, so I brought you part of the way home, but, uh… Did you, uh… Did you get home safe? Did you sleep well?”

Jesse was a little surprised at his drunk self. He had drunkenly made out with strangers before, but nothing beyond that. Sleeping with one? Even if it was Hanzo, that’s a lot. He was glad he didn’t.

“Er… yeah, sure. I basically passed out, though, and woke up way too late. So”, he gestured at himself, quickly thrown together. “Here I am.”

Hanzo chuckled. “You might have noticed my hasted demeanor today, after I was late- it’s because you made me arrive home way too late after not only spending time with you over whiskey, but also making me worry and bring you home.”

They both laughed a little, before turning back silent. The conversation had turned light-hearted for a minute, but the severity of what had happened was still there. They shared a few moments looking at one another before Jesse begun again.

 

“So, we keep it between us? Won’t be a problem for me- nobody knows I was there last night, except my friend who ditched me. And, no offense, but I don’t really have a problem seein’ drunk hookups as just that- drunk hookups. Even if we, y’know, didn’t hook up.”

“Er, yeah, I guess we’ll both just… keep quiet. And I was alone too. Let’s both just be glad nothing happened - because it could have seriously ruined my reputation. And, well, it couldn’t have been good for you either.“

“Oh, yeah, let’s not put that out there.” Jesse quickly shot back.

“But don’t worry. Nothing like that will happen, as long as you continue coming to class.” Hanzo tried to comfort Jesse by joking, and it worked. Jesse smiled, laughing under his breath, still looking away, comforted a little by hearing Hanzo laughing along. Hanzo reached out to Jesse’s shoulder, down his arm, pulling back quickly a second after reaching his hand. It sent a shiver down Jesse’s spine, which he would have to ignore. It was clear that, while in any other situation, things might have been a lot different, Hanzo was now simply out of his reach.

After two moments of silence, Jesse decided to stand back up. Hanzo got up as Jesse grabbed his backpack and stuck out a hand which Jesse gladly shook. They walked, together, up the stairs, to the exit of the hall. Hanzo cleared his throat.

 

“Guess I’ll see you next Tuesday, Jesse. Oh, and let’s keep it formal in class. I know we’re only a few years apart, but there needs to be a level of formality.”

“That’s alright, man.” Jesse replied. “And if it’s any help, I think you’re a great teacher.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas, they don't immediately reconcile and make out again. Even if we all wished they would. That would be too easy. Alas.


	5. Several Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time goes on, Jesse and Hanzo keep interacting - and Jesse's still not entirely sure how to handle his crush.

**Tuesday, October 14th, 11:50**

Hanzo had arrived a little earlier today. Finally. And luckily too, because Jesse actually wanted to talk to him before the lecture started, but didn’t feel like seeking him out in the building.

Walking up to the desk in front, he cleared his throat and watched the slightly older man look up from his laptop, stunning as always.

 

“Ah, McCree.” It still stung, but only a little. “Can I… help you with anything?”

“Uh, yeah, I got you a little thank-you gift cause you saved my life. Y’know.” Jesse had brought a small brown box and a white note-card attached. Usually he made his presents a little more fun to open but, like Hanzo had said, they should try to keep it formal. Jesse avoided the implication that this present was an apology as well, something that Hanzo would have to decide for himself.

“Ah”, Hanzo repeated himself, “Thank you. I’ll open it later, if you don’t mind. Class is about to start.”

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Jesse quickly agreed. “Open it whenever you feel like it.”

Jesse grinned towards Hanzo and quickly walked back to his seat. The last time he saw the present that day, it was in Hanzo’s briefcase, shortly before the young substitute professor closed it.

 

**Thursday, October 16th, 14:03**

“McCree”, a familiar voice said once again. Hanzo was at the same spot the last time he’d asked Jesse to stay behind, which had been exactly a week earlier. Jesse grinned back at him just as he had giving Hanzo the present. He had no problem staying until everyone had left this time.

“So”, Jesse started, walking over to Hanzo’s desk, where the teacher was opening his briefcase. “Did you like it? Or are you more of a gold person? I can absolutely get it switched, no problem.”

Hanzo took out the box again, only the note missing to make it look exactly like how it had two days earlier. He held it out, wanting to hand it back over.

“Jesse.” Hanzo said with a stern tone. “Here.”

 

Jesse was concerned. Had Hanzo disliked his present? Was it a bad gift? Maybe the note was too blunt? He opened the box. The gorgeous silver watch he’d carefully chosen out that weekend, specifically for Hanzo, was still in there, exactly as it had looked when he bought it. He thought it would fit Hanzo really well, with its sleek yet classic design, matching the beautiful formal outfits Hanzo had worn to class. “Again, thank you for bringing me home. Maybe this can help you get to class on time next time ;)”, Jesse had added to the formal note, wink face ensuring he didn’t intend on keeping Hanzo at an arm’s length, per se.

 

“I can’t possibly accept this.” Hanzo remarked as Jesse stared at the watch, time slowly ticking on.

“Why not? It’s a gorgeous watch, and would go amazin’ with your formal outfits. Seriously.”

“It’s a name brand watch, Jesse. It’s not that I dislike this watch, not at all, actually. I just can’t accept it knowing that it must have cost you a fortune. I know you're a college student, and please, no offense intended, but you couldn’t possibly afford something like this.”

“No offense taken, man,” Jesse smiled. “But this watch is no problem for me, man. If you like it, go ahead! It’ll look great on you.”

“No, Jesse. I really, really can’t. I do appreciate your kind thoughts but I’d just feel guilty wearing this. Please, return it. The note is more than enough for me as a thank-you.”

“Alright. No problem. Don’t want you feelin’ guilty.” Jesse put the box back in the front pocket of his backpack, which was usually empty. Silence once again falling between them, Jesse decided to pick up his backpack, waving towards the older man in front of him. Hanzo, looking back endearingly, waved back, but grasped after him just a second longer after Jesse turned around to exit the room. Jesse, sadly, didn’t notice, instead turning around as he walked up the steps.

“Shame. It really would’ve looked great on you.”

 

**Thursday, October 16th, 14:46pm**

Jesse opened his front door, setting his backpack on the ground carefully, taking off his jacket, and kicking off his boots.

He opened the front pocket of his backpack, taking out the small box, studying it.

Why had Hanzo not liked his gift? I mean, sure, it was a little expensive, but Hanzo definitely didn’t seem like the guy to turn down a great watch like this. Maybe it was just too big of a gift to give for a small thank-you. Well, it was a big thank-you, really, not only for bringing Jesse home, but also for agreeing to keep the drunken night between them.

 

Whatever the case, Jesse liked the watch too much to return it. Instead, he put it in the bottom drawer of his nightstand, where he kept his favourite lazy-day-staying-in-bed items, so it’d be safe from damage.

 

**Saturday, October 18th, 10:29**

Jesse woke up. He’d gone out again, and luckily didn’t get too drunk, but he did know that for the rest of the day, he was going to be useless. Grabbing his laptop, connecting it to the charger, and letting it start up, he got out of bed to shower, grabbed coffee, a clean t-shirt, and sweats, and threw himself back in bed.

The room was a mess, he had an essay in Hanzo’s class that was due halfway through november, and several emails to get back to, but instead, he turned over to his nightstand, opened the bottom drawer, and grabbed his personal box set of The Nanny. Fran Drescher was an icon and the series not being streamed on Netflix was, frankly, homophobic. Whatever, he preferred watching them on disk regardless.

 

The watch caught his eye, softly ticking, making Jesse question for a few seconds whether or not he should have kept it at all. Deciding he didn’t want to think about it on a self-care day, he carefully closed the drawer, leaving the thought to another time.

 

**Tuesday, October 21st, 14:00**

Hanzo reminded the class to not forget their essays, staring at Jesse for half of the sentence. Jesse wasn’t sure if it was an intentional message directed at him, but if it was, he was touched knowing Hanzo wanted to make sure Jesse didn’t forget.

At home, he finally started working on it.

 

**Sunday, October 26th, 21:37**

No more. No more, please. Jesse had been working on the essay all damn day and he was just completely tired of it. So what if symmetry was better or worse than asymmetry? So what if there were philosophers who had brought that up in their theorems? He didn’t fucking care. Honestly, the only thing keeping him in this class by now is Hanzo. They often chatted after classes, mostly about schoolwork that Jesse should stay on top of. It still felt nice to see Hanzo cared, but Jesse honestly really didn’t.

 

**Friday, October 31st, 23:25**

Jesse’s phone lit up. A text from Gabe.

 

**Gabe** : _Dude remember that hot blond guy I hooked up with like last week_

**Gabe:** _Turns out Morrison, ur prof, is his dad_

 

Well then. That was his problem. Scrolling through his Instagram feed, Jesse avoided replying, instead trying to look for what people were for Halloween. He didn’t have time to get a costume this year, so he just sat it out.

Ah. Gabe was going as… A slutty grim reaper. Classy as always. Some really fit old instagram model he followed was a knight with a gigantic warhammer, which honestly really impressed Jesse. That costume looked like it was made completely out of metal. Who knows, maybe it was? The guy was probably ripped enough to wear it.

 

A horrible, horrible idea popped into his mind.

 

Did Hanzo have an Instagram account?

 

Typing his name into the search bar, completely ignoring the screams of protests from the logical parts of his mind, he did actually find his professor under the obviously discreet screen name hanzo_shimada, a gorgeous side-lit portrait of the man as a profile picture. No one he knew was also following the account, so it probably won’t be too weird if he followed his professor on Instagram, right? Right. He tapped the blue “Follow” button before scrolling down to see Hanzo’s pictures.

Not bad. The first picture he saw was a combination of a black mug of steaming coffee, a stack of papers, and a book, the title of which wasn’t visible and the cover of which he didn’t recognise. No caption. Uploaded on October 25th. Last Saturday, then. He double tapped the picture, indicating he liked it.

 

He scrolled down more of Hanzo’s pictures, admiring the framing and simple edits, leaving a trail of likes behind him. His substitute professor seemed to be talented using the tilt shift function. Admirable. Jesse spent a few more minutes watching pictures (Hanzo appeared to be an avid traveler, with how many different pictures he had taken in different countries over the years), insisting it was merely admiring artwork rather than stalking someone’s social media. He finally exited Instagram, putting his phone aside and returning to the horror movie he’d tastefully chosen out for the night.

His phone lit up again. A pop-up at told him that hanzo_shimada was now following him, also having liked the last picture Jesse had posted. A selfie of him with the family dog, taken on the 4th of July, back in New Mexico with his family. Their dog was honestly the best part of the entire day, so he smiled, seeing the picture, also seeing Hanzo had liked it.

 

Jesse never finished watching that horror movie.

 

**Tuesday, November 4th, 11:50**

Jesse sat down, watching Hanzo set up the lesson best as he could. Usually he spent the pre-class time talking to a few students, making sure they were caught up with their revision. It’s one of the many things Jesse admired about Hanzo - the way he actually cared about education, rather than educating.

 

He’d learned a lot about his substitute teacher the past month. His crush was still there, but not simply based on appearance anymore. Hanzo was a great guy, in and out of the classroom. Even if there were big parts of his personality that seemed hidden from everyone, Jesse loved what he got to see.

When Hanzo first looked up from his laptop, he looked directly at Jesse. The student couldn’t help but smile, and Hanzo returned the sentiment with a half-smirk. Jesse pulled up the Instagram picture of him and his dog and turned his phone to discreetly show Hanzo, and apparently even with the small distance between them, Hanzo recognised the picture, because his smile widened and he looked away, almost shy.

 

Jesse’s heart warmed.

 

**Thursday, November 6th, 14:01**

Hanzo once again held Jesse up after class, and Jesse had no reason to protest.

 

“The essay’s deadline is the 19th of this month, remember?” Hanzo asked.

“Oh, believe me, I’m aware”, Jesse replied, not hiding a bit of sass.

“I’m trying to keep you on top of your schoolwork”, Hanzo reassured him. “I just don’t want you to fail. You’ve been doing great in my classes, but... the rest of the professors in the Architecture and Planning department seemed... disappointed about your activity”

“Are you giving everyone in class this... personal treatment?” Jesse probed, avoiding whatever Hanzo had just implied.

“No, of course not”, Hanzo seemed taken aback. “Trust me, I’m simply making sure you succeed this semester. You’re a brilliant student in my class - I’d just hate to see you go.”

 

It hit Jesse somewhere it felt nice, so he ignored what it was supposed to imply, rather letting it imply what he wanted it to.

“Alright, Hanzo. I’ll get the essay done quick, but don’t worry ‘bout me. The world has its great architects already.” Jesse added a wink, which Hanzo probably missed.

 

**Sunday, November 9th, 16:48**

Jesse reached the part of writing his essay where he only had to conclude, re-read, and edit. Good enough for today.

He walked back over to his bed intending on spending the rest of the day in there, something he got to do so rarely.. Reaching over to grab the coffee on his nightstand, he realised his phone lit up with an Instagram icon. He touched it, expecting the notification to be another like or a follow.

 

Instead, it was a message. From hanzo_shimada.

“Don’t forget the essay!”

Of course, this guy would message Jesse over instagram DMs.

“No problem, man. Almost done.” He typed, and hit send.

“Okay, good work.”

 

Another message a few minutes later.

“Don’t expect a higher grade just because it’s me.”

Jesse huffed and smiled.

“Not counting on it” he shot back, before putting down his phone.

 

Hanzo didn’t reply.

 

**Sunday, November 16th, 19:50**

Hanzo had reminded the whole class about the essay both classes that week, not specifically looking at Jesse but giving him an expectant look at some point either way. Jesse had avoided working on the essay all week, knowing he could finish it within an hour if necessary.

 

His phone lit up again with an instagram icon - and Jesse wasn’t surprised.  
“ETA??”, hanzo_shimada had messaged him.

“Working on it now! Been too busy all week”, Jesse blatantly lied.

“Nice job! Looking forward to it.” Hanzo seemed happy. Jesse doubted he was actually looking forward to grading his essay, but it was nice to hear anyway.

 

Okay. Fine. Rolling off of his bed, closing the sci-fi series he had continued watching, Jesse told himself not to stop working on the essay until he’d uploaded and entered it.

 

**Monday, November 17th, 00:20**

“It just came in! You’re the first one of the class.” Hanzo seemed happy about it somehow. Probably just trying to sound enthusiastic to keep Jesse motivated.

 

It worked, though.

 

**Tuesday, November 18th, 14:00**

“And remember, people, essays entered past midnight will NOT be accepted. You’ve had over a month for a thousand words. It can’t be that hard.” Hanzo sounded annoyed. He had a point, with how long people had to finish the essays, and apparently ‘only three people’ had actually entered their finished products, two of which were almost copied word for word from articles Hanzo had suggested as a baseline.

Hanzo didn’t keep Jesse in class this time, but he did give Jesse a smile and wink when they made eye contact. It was the first time Jesse saw the young professor wink, and it struck him right in the gut. God, that man was gorgeous.

 

**Friday, November 21st, 20:25**

It had been a long and stressful week. He’d gotten two new term assignments from Amari and Morrison, both ruthless older professors who insisted three weeks were enough for a 5000-word semi-dissertation. Following Hanzo’s advice, he’d tried to crack down on both papers to get ahead of them early, maybe earning him some respect. Because while Jesse was focused on Hanzo’s classes, he didn’t care too much about the rest, which started to look concerning on his grades.

It’d also been almost two months since he first got to meet Hanzo, and now he only had a month left of him. The young substitute had really grown on him, and Jesse frankly just didn’t know if he’d survive Vaswani after having her polar opposite as a professor for three months.

But those were all problems for another time. Right now, he was looking to escape the stress that this week had been. He originally considered staying at home and having a movie night. His apartment, though, was looking trashed, full of clothes everywhere, snack bags, and energy drinks. Not great for a relaxed evening at home.

There was a great bar nearby, which Jesse often visited on a night like this, with amazing mojitos, and having enough of them could get Jesse absolutely wasted. Which is kind of what he needed right now. He only allowed himself to get hammered on Fridays, leaving him Saturday to zombie out with his hangover. So he threw on a plain crimson hoodie, some jeans, and sneakers, and left his phone at home.

 

Tonight was going to be great.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five weeks pass in this chapter, so I tried my best to add the timestamps so you can keep track of when things happen. Also? The next chapter will have a new perspective ;)


	6. Double Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse's smashed. Unreliable narrator.

**Saturday, November 22nd, 10:49**

Jesse woke up, head pounding. Right. It had been one of those nights he got wasted. At least he ended up in bed this time, rather than passing out on the couch, the floor, or worst of all, not even making it home. His headache was too prominent to fall back asleep, but also throbbing too hard to get up. Jesse decided to stay in bed for just a second.

 

**Saturday, November 22nd, 11:10**

Jesse got out of bed. Apparently, Drunk-Jesse had been kind enough to close his curtains, knowing the sunlight would burn his eyes out, so he turned on his lighting system, keeping the room fairly dim.

The first thing he noticed was the clothes pile he had built up in a corner. Usually he’d just throw on a few clothes when his hangover was this bad, but the pile was gone. He looked around- the entire room was clean. The floor suddenly wasn’t strewn with random items, but empty and clear of everything he’d left on it. And there was also an empty bucket next to his bed, like his drunk self wanted to make sure he didn’t throw up all over the floor.

 

Opening the door to the living room, his confusion turned into suspicion.

The room was completely clean. The dishes had been washed, the clothes strewn across the room were gone, the trash had disappeared… Honestly, his apartment was only this clean when he had new guests over, and that… Maybe he had visitors today? He didn’t remember.

 

Fuck, he really had to use the toilet.

Traversing through his bedroom into the bathroom, he turned on the bathroom light - ugh, too bright, turn it down… and realised that his bathroom, too, had been completely tidied. The usual mess around his sink and the rack in the shower was now organised. Jesse wasn’t complaining, but… Did Drunk Jesse suddenly get a new hobby? Being responsible and clean? That’d be pure irony.

 

Walking back into the kitchen to grab a coffee, he saw a big hunk of something lying on his couch in the corner of his eye. Looking over, he almost jumped- there was a person lying there, under one of his spare blankets.

Silently treading over, he tried to investigate this stranger on his couch, not really able to place the mop of dark hair from which soft snores were softly audible. Not until they rolled over, and Jesse recognised him.

 

Hanzo.

 

 

\--------------------------

**Friday, November 19th, 23:40**

Hanzo entered the bar. He was tired. He’d been reviewing the mass of essays he’d received, all at once, since Wednesday night. The only grade he’d been able to give out is Jesse’s- and that’s just because he was early. The other 60-odd people in the room had all been close to late, and with meetings, preparations, and grading, he wasn’t getting anywhere. He needed a drink.

Walking straight over to the bar, he ordered a double whiskey. A minute later, he was sipping the first down, burning sensation giving him the satisfaction he’d been craving all evening. He hoped he was disguised enough, wearing a leather jacket, his usual sunglasses, and a beanie to completely hide his hair. Last time he went out to drink it was far from campus, where he wasn’t at risk of running into any students. Both to keep a neutral view of his students, and so his students could keep a neutral view of him.

Of course, last time he went out to drink, he had ran into Jesse. And they had--... Well, he was lucky Jesse was so collected about it in the end. And they built up somewhat of a buddy relationship afterwards. Definitely one of the friendliest people he’d had the honor of being friends with.

 

Someone sat down at the bar next to him. Hanzo grunted and slid his whiskeys a little closer. He’d been craving some time purely for himself. Until he heard the voice next to him.

 

“...Yeah, I’ll have…. ‘Nother margarita, thank you kindly.”

It was Jesse. And he was.... wasted. Somehow the only two times Hanzo had met him outside of the classroom, Jesse had been beyond drunk. But this time it was far worse than last time.

Hanzo carefully tapped his student’s arm, who looked over to his side, and his face immediately lit up.

 

“Hey!! Hanzo!!!!”

Hanzo figured Jesse recognised the sunglasses. He was not a fan of Jesse screaming his name, though, in a bar with who knows how many MIT students, but the younger man was probably far too drunk to understand, so instead...

“Jesse, please, I have a major headache, can you quiet down a bit?”

“Ohh yeah sure man, don’t worry.” Jesse’s voice turned almost into a whisper, then matching Hanzo’s tone. “I’ve been having a... fuckin’ shit week too, dude. Wanna go sit somewhere ‘n… talk?? I’ve done enough dancin’ for one night.”

Hanzo was confused for a second (They were in a bar - why was Jesse dancing?) but disregarded it quickly, telling Jesse to go find a secluded spot somewhere. Finishing his whiskeys, he ordered two beers, not wanting to make Jesse drunker than he already was. Which was very drunk.

 

Walking around the seating area a little bit, he found Jesse soon enough. The bar was pretty crowded, with it being Friday night, but Jesse was smiling and waving. Hanzo placed down the beers on the small coffee table between the chairs Jesse had chosen for him, took off his jacket, and sat down. He tried to detect just how drunk Jesse was by observing the student, who was taking in his surroundings, looking as much bewildered as elated. Hanzo really wasn’t sure how much Jesse had had, but he was glad it was the weekend. Soon enough, Jesse broke the silence between them.

 

“So”, he yelled, only to quickly quiet back down, looking scared he might have worsened Hanzo’s imaginary headache. His worried expression quickly turned into a grin, though, as he continued. “You come here often?”

Hanzo laughed softly, both enamored by this drunk guy’s killer pick-up lines and a little confused about if Jesse meant them. Last time Jesse was drunk, he did kiss Hanzo - and Hanzo had kissed him back - but neither of them knew it was the other. Ever since, their communication had been mostly casual, or professional even, so Hanzo hadn’t really considered what was going on between them.

“No, I don’t”, Hanzo told the truth. “I just wanted to get away from grading those essays and drink.”

“Yeah”, Jesse nodded wildly. “Fuck those essays.” He immediately looked back up to Hanzo, “Not yours, though, that was, like, fascinating. Got my grade yet?”

Hanzo decided to avoid that question, mostly because he couldn’t be bothered to think about work.

 

“So Jesse”, he elaborated, trying to get the younger guy’s attention again, having lost it after staying silent for a whole five seconds. “Did you come here with anyone tonight?”

“No”, Jesse replied, looking mostly annoyed. Hanzo couldn’t really tell why. “I just… I live here, so, it’s close to my house, y’know”

Okay, good. Jesse would probably be able to make it home tonight. He did seem a lot drunker than the previous time, though. Hanzo probably should…

 

“Do you think you can make it home tonight?”

“Oh yeah, man, no problem. I live…” Jesse spent a good ten seconds calculating. “like ten minutes away”

Hanzo almost had to laugh at Jesse’s confidence, but he was still a little too worried about his mental state as he saw Jesse nearly trip several times just trying to find a seat.

 

“Do you want to walk home with me?” Hanzo offered.

Jesse’s smile grew significantly, once more arousing Hanzo’s suspicion.

“Yeah, sure, man! Thanks. You sure you’re, like, good on drinks?” Jesse grinned.

“I’m good, yes. I just came in for a quick whiskey, to be frank.”

“Still don’t get how you can... drink that stuff.”

Hanzo didn’t reply, instead just standing up and putting his leather jacket back on.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

Jesse happily obliged, following Hanzo outside.

 

It was raining, again. Half past midnight, a two-whiskey Hanzo escorting a fully drunk Jesse back home. Cars drove by, splashing water almost directly onto them. Hanzo took off his sunglasses, since they didn’t help much in the dark, let alone when it rained.

Jesse tried his best to stay upright, but one slip of his foot landed him right in a puddle. Hanzo quickly reached to help him back up on his feet, and Jesse used the opportunity to just latch onto Hanzo’s side.

Hanzo didn’t mind too much, since it was the best way of keeping him standing, except Jesse definitely used the opportunity to lean into him much more than necessary. The added weight made for a weird stumble between them both, with Hanzo being responsible for them actually moving forward.

They lived mostly in the same neighbourhood, which Hanzo knew from the first time he brought Jesse home, so he tried to bring the drunk guy to the same place he’d dropped him off the first time, until eventually Hanzo tried to take a corner to the right and Jesse protested.

 

“No… no, man, I don’t live there. I live, like, behind us.”

Hanzo walked over to a wall Jesse could lean on to keep his balance, and looked the situation over. He lived only two streets away, but this guy was obviously way too drunk to get home. Hanzo sighed.

“Do you need me to bring you home?” Hanzo tried to be as clear as possible, cause Jesse’s focus seemed to lie with a thousand different things. Until Jesse suddenly looked at him.

“God, man, how are you so nice? You’re my professor. Teachers aren’t nice. They make you write essays and read like fifty pages of stuff, and...” Jesse didn’t finish his sentence.

“I’m your substitute professor, yes, but I’m also your friend, and I need to get you back home safely.”

Jesse stared at him. Hanzo stared back. It was the most intense gaze they’d shared, so far. Jesse’s eyes got just the tiniest bit wider, as though he’d suddenly realised something.

 

Maybe he had.

 

Because he grabbed Hanzo’s nape, probably with as gentle of a movement as he could, and kissed Hanzo. Again.

 

But Hanzo didn’t kiss back this time.

Jesse had shocked Hanzo with the sudden movement, and a hundred thoughts immediately rushed through Hanzo’s head, none of which instantly agreed with the idea of kissing Jesse back, confusion and panic instead taking over once again.

 

Hanzo pulled back, looking at Jesse, confusion likely clear in his expression. Jesse was staring back at Hanzo, eyes still wide, and watering. The poor drunk guy started crying. And apologising, over and over. Hanzo figured Jesse had read his non-reaction as “He doesn’t like you”, which can be an extremely disappointing reality when you drunkenly admire someone enough to spontaneously kiss them.

So now Hanzo had this drunk, soaked, shivering, crying, weak gay guy standing next to him, thinking Hanzo doesn’t even care about him. What other choice does he have?

“Jesse,” he said sternly, trying to get his attention. “How do I get you home?”

 

The blubbering mess in front of him stopped apologising. Completely stopped reacting at all. Just looked around at the street, the wall, his hands, back at Hanzo, too feverishly emotional to think.

Hanzo sighed. He had to get Jesse back down somehow. How could he-- Hmm.

 

“Jesse.” He once again stated, not yelling at all, but urging Jesse to listen. Jesse stopped staring around, looking straight at Hanzo.

Hanzo took Jesse’s head in both hands, and simply kissed him back.

 

This solved one problem, at least. Jesse was just confused, instead of panicked and confused. Pulling back from the kiss, Hanzo made sure to look Jesse directly in the eyes with a soft look, careful not to overwhelm him.

“Where do you live?”, he softly asked the mess staring back at him. “How do I get you home safely?”

Jesse finally reacted, pointing in one direction opposite from the road to Hanzo’s house. “Over there.” Voice shivering from crying, and from the cold, and from being soaked by the rain. Why hadn’t he put on a jacket over his hoodie?

Sighing again, Hanzo took off his leather jacket, glad he decided to wear two more layers underneath his black sweater. Throwing the jacket over Jesse’s shoulders, Jesse at least cooperated enough to put his arms through the sleeves. Both men being roughly the same size, it wasn’t a bad fit on Jesse.

 

He seemed to finally gather himself up a little again, looking better when surrounded by Hanzo’s scent, staring mostly down at the ground and gravitating towards the body warmth next to him. Hanzo, who was happy to see Jesse having a little more in control over himself again, decided to put an arm around Jesse’s back, leading him in the general direction of the younger guy’s house.

Hanzo sighed. Not only had Jesse just kissed him again, he’d kissed Jesse this time as well. But it was... purely to get the drunk guy back to a regular state. Nevertheless, it was a problem for another time. Likely very soon.

 

They stopped several times at crossroads to let Jesse point them in the right direction. As time went on, Jesse mellowed out, regaining as much of his composure as possible. Eventually Hanzo heard a soft voice saying “Stop”, so he pulled away to look at Jesse again, asking him where to go.

Jesse pointed at the building they were standing in front of, which surprised Hanzo. He’d known Jesse lived around this neighbourhood, just like Satya’s apartment he had been able to borrow while she was gone, but he had no idea Jesse actually lived here. It was one of the most high-end buildings near campus. How’d a kid like him afford an apartment around here?

 

“Okay”, he addressed Jesse clearly again. “Which number?”

“Twenty-too”, Jesse just slurred.

Hanzo again put a hand on Jesse’s back and lead him inside. Jesse grabbed a set of two keys from his back pocket, handing them to Hanzo. A wise decision. The first key Hanzo tried managed to open the front door, just past the mailboxes. From there, he planted Jesse against a wall and called the elevator.

 

“Hey, Hanzo”, Jesse said. Hanzo looked over at the drunk guy, who was wearing a wide grin. “You look hot. Your jacket-- it’s hot. I mean it’s warm. On me. I like it.”

Hanzo couldn’t help but smile a little. The compliments didn’t even matter - it was because Drunk Jesse was so genuine. So honest. Sober Jesse was honest as well, Hanzo couldn’t possibly deny that - but Drunk Jesse had more incentive to act on his feelings. Hanzo liked Sober Jesse - but he could use some guts. Though, then again, so could Hanzo…

Inspecting the buttons on the elevator, Hanzo realised Jesse lived on the top floor, something he envied. That feeling quickly went away, though, as he entered Jesse’s apartment using the other key. It was open, it was luxurious, but it was also a mess. The trash hadn’t been emptied in weeks, the kitchen was full of plates, mugs, and bowls, clothes were strewn around the floor and seats, and Hanzo wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen so many empty cup noodle cups in a single room.

He brought Jesse over to a large chair in the living area, picked off the random pair of jeans lying on top of it, and sat the drunk guy down.

This was gonna be a long night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, these gays are wild.


	7. Saturday Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's woken up at Jesse's place - and Jesse's got questions.

**Saturday, November 22nd, 11:15**

Jesse was feeling… something, seeing his substitute professor laying on his couch. but he couldn’t work out what it was.

God, he needed coffee. And he needed a shower. His hair was sticking to his forehead and he smelled- wait, he had slept in his clothes again? Jesse rushed back to his bedroom. Probably best not to let Hanzo see him in this state.

 

Towelling off from the hot shower and brushing his teeth, Jesse felt just a little better. He re-entered his bedroom and opened the closet, figuring his clothes must’ve been there, finding it still mostly empty. However, what few clothes were in there were neatly folded or hung up. He grabbed a clean grey sweater and black sweatpants, his usual lazy wear.

Now he required coffee. Re-entering the living room, it was still quiet, save for the soft snores coming from his substitute professor. Who was sleeping on his couch. Right. Coffee. Jesse started brewing a pot while making his usual hangover breakfast: eggs on toast. He could worry about Hanzo later.

 

As Jesse sat at the small two-sided dining table, having finished his breakfast and now slowly sipping down his hot coffee, he was finally feeling a little better. He still didn’t dare to open his curtains, though.

He spent about ten minutes taking his time with his cup when he noticed Hanzo’s breaths starting to become irregular, the blanketed figure moving around a lot more than simply rolling over. Soon enough, Jesse could see the glint of Hanzo’s eyes as the older man looked around him, confused about his surroundings. Jesse was unsure of what to say.

Hanzo sat up and looked at Jesse, expression of realisation on his face as he seemed to remember where he was.

 

“Good mornin’”, Jesse managed to get out. He didn’t remember anything about the previous night, so he was curious about anything the other guy might be able to tell him.

“Jesse”, Hanzo begun. “I can explain why I’m here.”

 

Jesse realised Hanzo was a little scared about having just slept over, so he was quick to reassure him. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve had friends crash over before - it’s no problem.” Jesse had absolutely no idea why Hanzo was here, but he figured he’d find out sooner or later.

Hanzo seemed to be shocked when he looked himself over, and Jesse suddenly realised that he was only wearing an undershirt and navy underwear. Hanzo quickly grabbed the blanket he’d just slept under, trying to hide the fact he was basically naked in someone else’s living room. Jesse quickly looked back at his coffee, not trying to express the wrong idea.

 

“Uh, Jesse?” Hanzo sounded nervous, which didn’t surprise Jesse. He’d had the same reaction to seeing his professor lying on his couch. “Could I, possibly, use your shower?”

Jesse couldn’t find a reason to deny him that. “Yeah, sure, man. Here, wait in the bedroom, I’ll go grab a towel.”

 

Walking over to the closet past the kitchen where he’d kept his clean towels, he found a large white one and brought it back to Hanzo. He’d been patiently standing in front of Jesse’s bathroom door, holding a pile of what Jesse assumed to be his clothes from the previous night.

“Here, man.” Jesse handed over the towel. “You can leave your clothes on my bed, I’ll wait in the living room until you’re finished.”

Hanzo obliged, carefully laying down his clothes on Jesse’s bed.

“Oh, and you can use any products I’ve got in there”, Jesse added. “And there’s always a few unused toothbrushes for when friends crash, check the sink cabinets.”

“Thank you, Jesse.” Hanzo nodded.

“Anytime”, the younger man agreed.

 

Hanzo stepped into the shower as Jesse turned to look over at the pile of clothes laying on his bed. He quickly deduced it must have rained the previous night. The thick sweater was clearly still a little wet, and Jesse didn’t even have to come near the pile to sense they smelled soaked. This wasn’t going to work.

Folding Hanzo’s clothes best as he could and setting them off to the side, Jesse instead grabbed a black t-shirt, a red flannel shirt, and some grey jeans from his closet, laying them out on Jesse’s bed instead. Hospitality like no other, Jesse grabbed a post-it, wrote a quick “Your clothes got soaked and really need a wash” and added it to the display.

He left the bedroom as promised, grabbing a plastic bag from the closet, carefully sliding Hanzo’s clothes in for him to take back home later. Grabbing another cup of coffee for himself, he figured Hanzo probably was going to need some too. Pouring himself a third cup for later, something he prided himself on, he emptied the rest and started brewing a new pot.

 

The soft sound of the shower splattering water everywhere was audible for a good twenty minutes before Jesse heard it turn off. By then, he had opened the curtains and turned on his laptop, browsing some social media sites.

A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened, Hanzo entering the living area wearing the outfit Jesse had picked out for him. Jesse was breathless. Somehow Hanzo had just managed to look so much better in them than Jesse ever did, pushing up the flannel to his elbows and filling out his jeans… perfectly, making Jesse seriously consider just letting him keep the outfit. He returned to reality as Hanzo cleared his throat.

 

“So. Good morning.” Hanzo started. He seemed to be unsure of himself, which Jesse understood. Hell, Jesse was only just scraping by, trying to adapt to what might have happened the past 16 hours.

“Good mornin’”, Jesse returned, giving Hanzo as genuine of a smile as he could. “Your clothes are in the bag on the table- You can take them home later. You want coffee?”

“Oh! Yes, please.” Hanzo sprung at the offer. “Just black is fine.”

“Alright, just a sec. Go make yourself comfortable.” Jesse got up, closing his laptop and bringing his mug to the kitchen to pour both himself and Hanzo a cup.

 

Hanzo sat down at one end of the three-seat sofa, still taking in the awkward atmosphere. Jesse returned, placing the two mugs down on the coffee table in front of them, and sat down cross-legged at the opposite end of the sofa.

 

“So,” he begun. “What in the hell happened?”

 

**Saturday, November 22nd, 12:30**

Jesse looked intently at Hanzo. He didn’t have any weekend plans, and while usually lazily sitting on a couch for hours sounded great to him, he never expected his hot substitute professor to sit at the other end of it.

 

“So”, Hanzo begun, sounding unsure of how to begin this conversation. “Last night.”

The older man sipped his coffee, his face a mix of concern and contemplation. Jesse let him think over his words, expecting the story to be nothing less than fascinating.

“I got drunk, didn’t I?” he contributed. Hanzo hummed in agreement from his cup.

“You were… somewhere, alright. Nothing like I’ve seen you in class.” Hanzo seemed a little amused, but his eyes hadn’t changed. “Do you remember which bar you went to last night?”

Jesse did, in fact. It’s really everything that happened after his fourth cocktail that he’s not sure about.

 

“Ah, yeah, it’s not far from here. So it’s handy to just get a drink. But I did go there to get drunk, if that’s what you’re askin’.”

“I went there too, last night.” Hanzo continued. “Yeah. I... wanted to get a whiskey to get away from the essays, and ran into you. Do you remember that?”

Jesse shook his head. “Nah, I was probably way gone by then. Was I tolerable?” He added with a smirk.

“Oh yeah, you were fine. Except you couldn’t stand on two feet if your life depended on it. So I offered to walk you home, and you agreed.” Hanzo slowly sipped his coffee, enjoying the heat of it. Jesse didn’t pay him too much attention, rather trying to rack his brain for any memory. Wow, he must have been way gone. It’s happened before.

“Then, and I apologise for taking this kind of initiative, I just brought you all the way home. You were barely able to open the door yourself, so I helped you up here. And, well...” Hanzo became silent again.

“What is it?” Jesse prodded, quietly admiring this guy’s protectiveness.

“I promise you I intended on going home, but, well... you were in no state to take care of yourself, let alone get to bed, so I sat you down, got you to drink some water… I was worried you’d hurt yourself. Please forgive me.”

 

“Hey, man, I’m... ” Jesse didn’t want to say ‘touched’, but he was. “Thank you. That’s the kindest thing anyone’s done for me.” He looked over at Hanzo, who smiled. He did have one more burning question, though: “So why’d you sleep over?”

Hanzo turned his head towards Jesse quickly, as if Jesse asked the one thing he didn’t want to be asked. The older man hesitated a few times before answering.

“I… You were about to throw up. I got you to the toilet quickly, but… Just how much did you drink last night?”

Jesse honestly had no idea.

“Regardless, I just… I felt it was a bad idea to leave you alone here. I know that was presumptuous of me, but… You were really, really out of it. Again, I sincerely apologise.”

“Absolutely no need. Thank you.” Jesse was honestly at a loss for words.

 

Hanzo seemed a little relieved. “I brought you to bed, tidied up a little, found a blanket in the closet, and slept on the couch in case you threw up again. Your apartment was… a mess.”

“Yeah, I… got a few new term assignments this week and went overboard trying to get them finished early. Tried to follow your advice, actually.”

Hanzo looked around the room again. “Jesse, you need to try and balance schoolwork with taking care of yourself. Have you been eating instant noodles all week?”

Jesse avoided that question. “I... just tried working on those essays.”

“Just... try to eat healthy, okay? And please don’t go drinking like that again. I don’t think you would’ve made it home if I wasn’t there last night.”

The two men continued sipping their coffee in quiet. There was no need for anything else to be said, so the quiet simply helped both of them wake up.

 

It took about five minutes for Hanzo to finish his cup, stand up and clear his throat again.

“Well then, I’ll be making my way home. You take a break from those papers today, okay? Your laundry is in the laundry basket, go do that instead. And, Jesse... You have a dishwasher. Use it.”

Hanzo grabbed the bag with his clothes and walked over to the front door, straightening the sleeves of the flannel shirt to put a leather jacket on. Jesse was impressed - he really hadn’t pegged Hanzo for the leather jacket type of guy. This man kept surprising him.

 

After they’d said their short goodbyes and Hanzo walked out the front door, Jesse walked back into his bedroom to grab the laundry, thinking things over. So he’d gotten drunk, ran into Hanzo, who brought him home, took care of him, and then slept over because he was worried Jesse wouldn’t be okay on his own.

Hanzo really was an amazing guy. If he knew how much Jesse was into him, he certainly was not making it any harder.

 

**Saturday, November 22nd, 18:10**

Jesse had followed Hanzo’s advice, taking the day off. The headache had subsided after about half an hour, and he spent most of the day behind his laptop, sitting on the couch instead of in bed. The only times he got up was to transfer the wet laundry to the dryer, and later on transfer it from the dryer to his closet. Now he’d have to get up and make something edible for dinner. Could he be bothered? Nope. But he had to follow Hanzo’s advice.

 

He was on his way to bring his laptop over to the kitchen, so he could continue the Vishkar article he’d opened while cooking (He was actually curious to see how the news had unfolded - what happened?), when the intercom rang. Strange. He wasn’t expecting visitors, nor any packages. He looked at the little screen, seeing his substitute professor’s face again.

“Hey,” Hanzo spoke up, voice sounding filtered through the speaker. “I left something at your place - is it okay if I come up?”

“No problem!” Jesse answered, pressing the button that opened the door to let Hanzo in.

 

Jesse took the time it would take Hanzo to come up to change into a more presentable outfit, not wanting to give the other man the impression he’d been lounging in a lazy t-shirt and sweats all day - which he absolutely had.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Jesse opened the door to find Hanzo holding two plastic bags, also having changed out of the outfit Jesse gave him. He was now wearing a navy sweater Jesse was pretty sure he recognised, and black jeans. Hanzo held out one of the plastic bags, it holding Jesse’s clothes.

“I left my beanie somewhere, have you come across it?” He said, friendly look having returned in those gorgeous eyes. They’d looked mostly sleepy that morning.

“No, but I think I know where it might be-- Gimme a sec? Come in, it’s cold.” Jesse offered. Hanzo stepped in after him as Jesse went over to the bedroom. Sure enough, there was a black beanie laying on the floor next to Jesse’s bed, probably having slid off the pile of Hanzo’s wet clothes as Jesse moved them. He dropped the plastic bag with his clothes on his bed as he bent over to grab the beanie.

 

He walked back over to the living room where Hanzo was standing, the other plastic bag on the dining table, jacket and shoes at the door.  
“Here’s your beanie.” Jesse said as he handed the hat back over to Hanzo. ”Whatcha got there?”

“Have you had dinner yet?” Hanzo seemed to avoid the question.

“No? I was actually just going to make something before you rang--” Jesse shut up as Hanzo pulled a glass tupperware out of the plastic bag.

“I saw you barely had any food laying around, so I thought I’d bring something healthier than you’ve been eating lately.” Hanzo answered, once again surprising Jesse. “Do you like salmon?”

“Uh… Y-yeah! Yeah, I do.” Jesse stammered. “You really didn’t have to do this, Hanzo. I mean, thank you, but… I can take care of myself, y’know.” Jesse feigned a smirk, trying to seem smooth.

“Oh.” Hanzo blinked, poise shifting instantly. “Is this too much?”, he quickly asked, already returning the tupperware to the plastic bag. “I’m sorry- I don’t want to seem overbea--”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Jesse cut Hanzo short. He wasn’t one to deny the kindness of others. “Thank you. Do you… Have you had dinner?”

Hanzo shook his head. “No, I’d just cooked and thou--... hoped I could join you. If you didn’t already eat, of course.”

“You’re more than welcome. I don’t mind the company.” Jesse smiled. “Sit down, I’ll grab some plates.”

 

A few minutes later, they were both happily feasting on Hanzo’s cooking. A fine warm vegetable mix of bell peppers, tomatoes, and carrots, with an excellently seasoned cut of salmon to the side.

Jesse wasn’t sure he’d had anything that tasted this… healthy, in a good while. He loved it. So Hanzo was a chef, too, huh?

 

“This is really great”, he felt obliged to say. He meant it. Hanzo needed to know. “What’s this dressing that’s kinda mixed into the veggies?”

“It’s a touch of garlic-infused olive oil with a little oregano I made myself. Really brings the flavour together, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, man. You should send me the recipe for this dish sometime. Here, let me put my number in your phone. I don’t think anyone actually uses Instagram DM’s.”

Jesse noticed Hanzo hesitate just a second before reaching into his pocket, pulling out his phone, and unlocking it before handing it over to the man across him. Jesse quickly entered his number, deciding against putting an emoji behind his name, and handed the phone back over to Hanzo, who glanced over the screen before putting it away again.

“Now don’t message me fifty times a day with useless questions about class, alright?”

“Nah, man. I’ll send the fifty useless questions about class to your business email.” Jesse smiled, again adding a wink. Hanzo, again, missed it.

 

They ate in silence for a few bites, both mostly staring out the window.

“So there’s another thing I’m curious about.” Hanzo begun again. Jesse looked back at him, happy to answer any question he might ask. “I’m sure you’re aware this apartment is… luxurious. How can you afford all of this?”

Okay, not that question.

 

“Long story.” Jesse simply replied, preferring to move on with the conversation.

“Jesse- you live in a high-end, one-bedroom apartment, you’re following one of the best Architecture programs in the country, and you’re barely interested in it, and don’t think I’ve forgotten the watch you tried to give me. What’s the long story?”

“Rich parents.” Jesse once again tries to avoid having to explain. Hopefully this would give Hanzo what he needed to stop probing.

“Ah.” Hanzo seemed a little satisfied, at least. “Care to elaborate?”

 

Jesse figured Hanzo wasn’t going to stop asking.

 

“You really want to know everything?” Jesse groaned. A last attempt to get Hanzo to stop, clearly indicating it was a topic Jesse didn’t talk about. Hanzo took a few seconds to reply.

“I mean… I don’t need every detail… But it’s been something I’ve wondered ever since I stepped into this apartment last night. I’d appreciate it if you cleared it up for me.”

Well, fuck. Jesse really couldn’t deny this man anything, especially when he asks this politely but still this eager to get to know Jesse. What was his goal, anyway?

“Go sit on the couch, I’ll get us some coffee again.”

 

Minutes later, they were sitting back where they had the same morning, sipping coffee. Jesse begun telling Hanzo the long story.

“My dad’s some big oil magnate. He owns the Spur engine oil company. Or, well, he inherited it from grandpa. Company’s been in the family for years. Problem is that the company is destroyin’ third-world countries for oil. I found out when I was fourteen, and hated my dad ever since. Hated bein' called ‘McCree’ ever since.”

 

It felt good to rant a little, even if he was ranting to someone who he wasn’t sure would judge him or not. The only other people he’s ranted to were friends who got his back.

 

“So anyway, my dad tells me on my sixteenth birthday that I’ll inherit the company when I turn 25, and he’d train me until then. Now, I didn’t want anything to do with him. But I was stuck there. At first I stayed and went along with him, stayin’ in the room when there were deals bein’ made, goin’ on business trips and ignoring any thought of education after high school. I couldn’t just leave, cause I wouldn’t have any chances gettin’ a job. Until last summer, on my 23rd birthday, when I told him I’d wanted to follow an Architecture education.”

“So, why was that anyway? I don’t mean to be rude, but you hardly seemed interested in it when I started teaching your class."

“Cause Massachusetts was the furthest I could get from Santa Fe in the US. I would’ve gone overseas, but I didn’t want to follow some British philosophy major. Plus, I do like architecture. But not like this.”

 

Hanzo and Jesse sipped their coffee simultaneously.

 

“But anyway, I convinced my dad it’d help me with… infrastructure, whatever, and he got me in, and bought me this apartment. He’s one of those people that thinks a tomato costs fifteen dollars, so it was no problem for him. And he still sends me money every month, more than enough to live off of, so I just spend it on stuff he wouldn’t like. ‘S fun. My little way of getting revenge.”

“Like the watch?” Hanzo asked, almost amused.

“Well, he probably would’ve liked the watch, but he would’ve hated me giving it to you.”

The look on Hanzo’s face changed to a soft confusion. “Why’s that?”

 

Jesse felt his stomach tying into a knot. It was a clear fact between the two of them, but for others in Jesse’s life… it was still a hard topic to think about. Let alone discuss.

 

 

“He doesn’t know I’m gay.”

 

 

Hanzo didn’t say anything, instead looking at the coffee table and sipping his coffee again.

“I’ve heard him goin’ on about how ‘the homosexuals are ruinin’ America’ and how he’d disown me if I ‘ever made such a dumb decision’.” Jesse used air quotes, trying to lighten the conversation even just a little bit.

“I’m sorry.” Hanzo stated softly.

“One day I’m going to spend all the money he’s sent me on my boyfriend, and him and I will flip him off as we ride on a boat into the sunset off to Paris.”  
Hanzo laughed under his breath. “Thought about that a lot, haven’t you? Hell, why haven’t you done that already?”

“Two missing factors”, Jesse stated, holding up two fingers and numbering them. “No one to do it with, and no plans for after that. I’ve thought about just trekking through France afterwards… Can’t be worse than bein’ in the same country as my dad, but I still have to find someone to go with me. So until I’ve got them, my plans are just to stay in school here, get a degree, and, like, start up a designing firm somewhere in Scandinavia. Maybe IKEA would hire me.”

 

Hanzo laughed out loud, for the first time. Jesse couldn’t help but love the roar of laughter, not too violent, not too scary, but instead, heartwarming.

 

“Hold on.” Jesse got up, walking over to his bedroom. Now is as good a time as any. “Here, look what I never returned.” He presented the silver watch to Hanzo again.

Hanzo was obviously very surprised. “You kept it? Why?”

“Well”, Jesse blushed. “It really was a great watch for you. I picked it myself, and didn’t want to lose it if I ever got the chance to give it to you again. And look,” he added a grin, “here we are.”

Hanzo laughed again, softer this time. “Well, since it’s bought with rebellion money, I feel less bad about actually accepting it this time.” He took the watch out of the box and slid it on.

 

Jesse was ecstatic to see how right he had been. It was a gorgeous watch, and looked perfect on Hanzo.

“There you go. I told you it’d look gorgeous on you.”

“It does. I love it. And I’ll gladly wear it now.” he added with a grin.

 

**Tuesday, November 25th, 12:05**

Hanzo was late again. Apologising profusely as he walked down the steps, he opened his briefcase and took out his laptop while telling about how he’d felt poorly the previous day and slept in way too late because of that.

Jesse felt bad for the poor man, but was distracted as Hanzo started showing the class the slides he’d prepared, his attention dropping immediately as the substitute teacher pointed with his right hand, blazer pulling back enough to reveal the silver watch on his wrist.

Jesse’s heart skipped a beat.

 

 

 

__________________________________________________________________

 

So it's probably a little odd to make art for _your own_ fic, but I had a vivid idea of how Jesse and Hanzo looked having a morning coffee, Hanzo explaining what happened the night before, so I made a little sketch.

 

(and yes this is hand-drawn and photographed with my phone camera, sorry for the quality.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take this space to thank you guys SO MUCH for all of the support on this fic!!! I seriously never expected these numbers at all, especially not for my first fic ever. I love you guys <3


	8. Sickness & Health

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo's come down with something seasonal, and Jesse is more than happy to return the favour from the other day.

**Tuesday, December 2nd, 11:34**

A friendly cold breeze flew over campus. The autumn weather was still going strong, though predictions of temperatures below freezing had been reported to arrive soon. Jesse enjoyed the cold weather as it let him dress up warm and comfortable, and besides, he just looked better when he could wear a big warm coat.

He was on his way to class, music blasting through earbuds, as he failed to notice his phone lighting up in his pocket.

 

**Tuesday, December 2nd, 11:50**

The doors to the lecture hall were closed. Jesse panicked for a second, thinking he was late, until he glanced into the small glass windows and saw nobody inside. Taking out his phone to check if there was even a class after the Thanksgiving weekend, he paused the music, only now noticing both the email and the text he’d received. The email was simply titled ‘11-27 Spatial Design cancelled’, so Jesse looked over to the text, seeing Hanzo had sent it. That would clear things up.

 **Hanzo:** _I’ve come down with a bad fever. My apologies._

Jesse smiled. He couldn’t help but feel fond of this guy’s dedication to being professional even when addressing a friend.. It’s a weird thing to see someone being formal while still trying to be friendly, but Hanzo managed to do it in a way that was nothing short of endearing.

 **Jesse:** _No problem, bud. Happens to the best of us._

 

It took about a minute for Hanzo to reply, faster than usual. Normally he was always busy with… something.

 **Hanzo:** _Was really looking forward to seeing you today._

The familiarity of the message surprised Jesse. Ever since they’d exchanged numbers, they’d been talking a lot more than usual over texts (frequently about the essays Jesse still had on his plate). But Hanzo had been mostly… formal. Same as he is in real life, really- a little distant, but friendly nonetheless, like he’s trying to uphold this... uncommon standard while still trying his best to be friends. Jesse was unsure if it was still due to Hanzo being his teacher, trying to keep a level of professionalism, or worst case scenario, Hanzo simply didn’t want to be friends and kept his distance in case he felt like leaving. Jesse started typing out a reply.

 **Jesse:** _I mean, I can come over if you want._

Hesitating for five whole seconds, he exhaled and sent it anyway. He’d just gone through this ironically stressful thought process about worrying if Hanzo was keeping him at an arm’s length, and now his brass confidence allowed him to be bold and ask. Jesse really was all over the place for this guy. It took a little longer for Hanzo to reply this time.

 **Hanzo:** _But I’m sick, and my place is a mess._

Jesse laughed nervously. Hanzo definitely didn’t immediately say no, but he also didn’t say yes. Time to push the offer just a little.

 **Jesse:** _I don’t mind a little mess. Just wanna make sure you’re OK. I don’t have anything else planned for the day._

 

Another message a minute later, attached to a location. Jesse didn’t even know you could send your location over texts. Regardless, he was relieved.

 **Hanzo:** _Alright then, you’re welcome here. This is where I live. Let me know when you’re coming so I can let you in._

**Jesse:** _Will do. I’m just dropping by my own place to pick up some stuff._

 

Jesse got up from leaning on the lecture hall doors, quickly picked up his backpack and rushed, almost jogged, back home to pick up some supplies. The older guy only sent one more message; a single thumbs up.

 

**Tuesday, December 2nd, 12:44**

“Ah, Jesse.” Hanzo spoke through the intercom. The ill man sounded soft and raspy. Jesse immediately felt pity for the poor guy. He greeted him back, the buzz of the front door sounding loudly a second later.

“Thanks, bud”. Jesse skipped the elevator, figuring he could climb the stairs faster. A poor decision, as he reached Hanzo’s floor out of breath. Taking half a second to stabilise himself, he started walking down the row of apartments until he finally reached the one he was looking for.

 

Jesse rang the inviting doorbell. Hanzo opened the door almost immediately, and Jesse was conflicted with empathy yet again. There the substitute stood, drowsy look on his face, in a loose long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants. Hanzo looked like hell, eyes half closed and watery, hair falling everywhere, nose sniffing softly. Jesse immediately wanted to single-handedly make him feel better. And so help him, he was going to try.

“Jesse, you’re here.” Hanzo said, voice soft, and relieved.

“Hey.” Jesse said, matching the soft tone. He didn’t want to overwhelm the poor guy. “How’re you holding up?”

“Not great.” Hanzo grunted, eyes closed. “I’ve mostly been in bed. Got up a while ago. ‘Cause it... didn’t help much.”

“Oh bud”, Jesse cooed, “I think it’s best if you do lay down. Don’t worry, I’m here now, so you can leave your getting better over to me. I’ve brought some stuff like tea, my favourite blanket, soup for dinner- do you like pumpkin? Also, my laptop in case you don’t have Netflix--”

 

Jesse’s list was cut short by a sharp inhale, as Hanzo had shuffled over and given him a hug. A short one, only lasting a couple of seconds, but it was surprising, and sweet, nonetheless. The surprise gave Jesse a feeling of soft bliss, maybe due to its spontaneity, but it turned into a worry quickly after realising just how much heat Hanzo’s body emitted.

 

“I just… needed that.” Hanzo explained, voice still soft. “Sorry. Just...”

“Hey, hey, hey… hey, it’s okay.” Jesse quickly reassured him, melting internally. “I get like that too”. He hesitated for a second before adding: “Want another one?”

The older man thought a moment, nodded, and soon the two were both holding each other. It was an almost uncomfortably heated embrace from Hanzo’s feverish temperature but Jesse found it hard to care. Right now, he was giving Hanzo exactly what they both wanted. They held on for about ten seconds before Jesse decided to pull back, Hanzo making a small noise of complaint. Jesse immediately regretted it, but he had to make sure the man started feeling better soon.

 

“Alright, so how about you go relax on the couch, I’ll go get us some tea, and we’ll put on a movie?” Jesse asked, still trying to sound as comforting as he can.

“I can’t.” Hanzo replied, looking at Jesse through watery, tired eyes. “I’ve got to… got to transfer today’s material into the Thursday material lecture and prepare both of them and look them back over and prepare the material and slide creations- and the essays, i got to finish grading them, got to finish reading them, got to---”

“No, Hanzo.” Jesse cut him off, soft voice trying its best to establish a bit of authority so Hanzo would listen. “You’re ill. You’re barely making any sense. Go sit on the couch, you need to rest.”

Any other protests shot down, Hanzo finally gave in and sat down, legs resting next to him, while Jesse threw the big blanket over most of his body. Hanzo did have a kettle, so the tea was done within a few minutes. Jesse pulled an end table closer to where Hanzo was sitting and set down a mug next to him.

 

“Careful, it’s still steaming hot. So, got any comfort movies you watch when you feel bad?”, Jesse asked. Hanzo thought for a moment, then shook his head softly. God, Jesse just wanted to hold him and kiss his head through this. Offer him the best care he could until he felt better. Instead, he sat down at the end of the couch Hanzo was half-lying on, and listened to the poor guy as he tried to groan out an answer.

“I...” Hanzo begun. Jesse stayed quiet while Hanzo cleared his throat. “I like to watch sea documentaries... sometimes. It helps calm me down. Does that count?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jesse nodded. Hanzo had a point - they were relaxing, if not Jesse’s first choice of entertainment. “Let me just look if Netflix has any.”

“You can cast. On the… TV.” Hanzo spoke up. “Name’s SVHome, password’s… HanShi with a capital H and S. My name. For while I’m here. Wifi too, by the way.”

 

Soon enough, the two men were watching quietly as giant sea turtles swam by on the screen in the corner, rain sounds on the window as the fall weather continued. They sat there in silence for a little over an hour, Jesse refilling their tea and sometimes remarking what fish he especially liked, which got him a soft breath of laughter in response.

 

As the documentary went on to a sunken ship they’d found in the territory while filming, Hanzo’s expression eventually melted into drowsiness, and soon he was dozing off. Jesse couldn’t help but listen endearingly to the soft snores he recognised from that Saturday a week before. If only he could help Hanzo any more. Well, maybe he could.

The bedroom was, in fact, a bit of a mess. The rest of the apartment was mostly tidy, save for a pile of empty coffee mugs in the kitchen, but in here, the sheets were on the ground, clothes laying everywhere, and various things had landed around the floor as if Hanzo had been digging for something specific in a drawer. Jesse quickly picked up a pillow off the bed, carefully raising Hanzo’s head from where he was resting against the back of the couch to make sure he was laying at least somewhat comfortably.

 

The marine documentary continued on quietly in the background as Jesse decided to tidy up a bit, both because he wanted to take care of Hanzo’s fever - and thus the mess it had created - and because he wanted to return the favour from that Saturday the week before. The documentary had just finished when Jesse had, so he continued to a different recommended one just in case Hanzo woke up.

 

It was around 16:30 when Hanzo finally did, catching Jesse’s attention who had resumed his seat at the end of the couch, writing a little more on the assignments that were due in a few days while the documentary and Hanzo’s soft sleeping sounds provided a welcoming atmosphere. The one positive about having two papers to write is the ability to switch between them when the other becomes too much, although they’d both worn Jesse down a lot by now.

“Oh, Jesse.” Hanzo said, with a voice that indicated he was still halfway asleep. “Thanks for...”. Never finishing his sentence, Hanzo started on something else, holding his head like it hurt. “What time is it?”

“About four thirty, bud. Did you sleep well?” Jesse asked, still keeping his voice gentle.

“Yeah... I’m hungry though. Is the documentary still going?”

“No, it’s a different one, but I can go back to the one we were watching. Hey, I can get you a snack if you want?”

A sleepy nod indicated enough, and Jesse immediately got up to get Hanzo something quick to eat. The assignments could honestly wait for years and years as long as Hanzo needed him.

 

The fridge had a surprising amount of great-looking food Hanzo had accumulated. Jesse knew the guy was a great cook, from the one time he was lucky enough to get to eat a dish, but it appeared Hanzo actually enjoyed experimenting from the amount of random dishes filling up the space. Jesse found the same brand of crackers he ate for breakfast in a drawer, then topped two of them with a layer of spicy hummus.

He found Hanzo having sat up a bit again, pillow now in his arms as he rested his face on top. Setting the plate down on the end table with an “Enjoy”, Hanzo jerked his head towards Jesse, quickly moving the pillow to his lap. He rested the plate on top of it and started taking small bites, still intently watching the documentary.

 

Jesse waited until Hanzo had finished one cracker before trying to ask him something he was honestly dying to know.

“Feeling any better?”

Hanzo softly shook his head. Jesse thought his eyes didn’t look quite as droopy as earlier, but figured it was because he’d just woken up.

“My head’s still dizzy, and pounding. And my limbs feel… weird. Fuzzy.” Hanzo still sounded a little fever-stressed. It broke Jesse’s heart. The need to hold Hanzo and just snuggle him through this, arose again, but he had to continue pushing it down. It was like a sting in the gut. Hanzo looked up at him again. “I’m comfortable laying here, though.”

That’s a bit better. At least Hanzo had that. At least Jesse could have done that for him. He couldn’t do much more other than let his body heal itself, even if he tried willing Hanzo better.

“Told you you should’ve laid down.” Jesse said with a smirk. Hanzo gave him a fraction of an annoyed glare, instead meeting his eyes and lingering there for a while before turning his attention back to the documentary.

 

They both continued watching until the end, chatting occasionally, and then continued to another, the one Jesse had turned on while Hanzo napped. Around 18:20, Jesse decided it was time to get the pumpkin soup done for dinner. Hanzo continued watching, promising to fill Jesse in on what he’d missed.

Jesse had brought two fancy cardboard boxes of pumpkin soup, honestly not sure if they would be any better than other single-serving brands, but emptied both into a pan and started heating the meal up. Not the... most elaborate recipe, but at least it still smelled great.

 

It took about fifteen minutes for the soup to heat up, and Jesse evenly divided it into two bowls. He returned to the living room, where Hanzo once again quickly moved the pillow from his arms to his lap. Jesse pretended not to notice. It seemed Hanzo was also craving some physical affection, but Jesse knew that offering that would only raise more questions after this was all over. God, he wanted to give Hanzo what they both wanted, but he decided it was better not to make things… personal.

Instead, he placed the bowl down next to Hanzo on a plate with some other crackers, and placed his own on the coffee table, quickly warning Hanzo.

 

“Careful, that was just boiling. Way too hot to eat. But what’d I miss?”

Hanzo gave him a quick, yet very vague interpretation of how this documentary was focusing on ocean sunfish, “those really, really big ones”, and how Hanzo loved them, and how they’d been popular with fishers and now they were trying to “push it back”, whatever that meant. Jesse had to laugh a little at the contrast of this quick and fumbled explanation compared to the professional and clear lessons Hanzo gave in class. Most of him felt bad about Hanzo’s state, but part of him honestly wished he’d be a little more casual like this all the time. Less distant.

 

When the soup had finally cooled enough to be edible, Hanzo spoke up, interrupting the documentary narrator.

“Wow, Jesse. I’ve never had this before. But it’s good. Really good. Did you make this? Can you get me the… the recipe?”

“No, ‘m afraid it came straight from a packet.” Jesse answered honestly. “You’ve never had it? Have you never celebrated Thanksgiving?”

“Mm-mm”, Hanzo shook his head, mouth full, quickly swallowing. “I’m not from America.”

That surprised Jesse. Granted, Hanzo had just the slightest hint of an accent, and he obviously wasn’t caucasian, but neither was Jesse, and his family celebrated it every year. He was curious now, but felt it was better to bring that up some other time, when Hanzo was more… coherent. Back to the matter at hand.

 

“The soup’s my favourite part of Thanksgiving, but I missed it this weekend so I bought so--”

“You missed it?” Hanzo interrupted him.

“Yeah... my dad asked me to come over but... I told him I was too busy with those term assignments. But honestly, I just didn’t want to go. I spent years at home, I’m tired of it. Yeah, I miss our dog, but that’s about it.”

“‘M sorry, Jesse.” Hanzo replied.

“Nah, man, it’s fine” Jesse said. “I got to go out with some friends, just like I wanted, and now we’re having pumpkin soup. It’s like our own little Thanksgiving dinner.”

 

Hanzo smiled ever so softly. A sight like no other, if you asked Jesse.

 

“So… What are you thankful about? Or, for? Don’t care.” Hanzo asked, smiling a bit at the cliché.

Jesse wasn’t prepared for that question. It instantly reminded him of sitting at large tables, surrounded people he barely knew but were supposed to be family, informing everyone of their year. Jesse always found it hard to listen, hard to care.

But now he had his ill friend sitting next to him, genuinely curious. He was ready to tell him anything he wanted.

“Well...” Jesse begun. He took a moment to think. “I’m happy about being on my own. To-- to be able to start my life. Wherever it may take me. And, of course, I’m glad to have you as a friend.”

 

Jesse immediately regretted saying something like that in a string of ideas that were so important to him. Well, Hanzo was definitely one of the best people he’d met that year, and he was taught to be thankful of the people around him, but still, that was way too much.

Hanzo seemed a bit surprised as well, until Jesse added a sheepish grin to his statement, hoping it would indicate that he hadn’t been that serious. It seemed to work.

“So”, Jesse quickly added, “Anything you’re grateful for?”

Hanzo thought for a moment as well, before starting. “I’m happy that… I got to try this great soup. And I’m loving this documentary. And that the throbbing in my head is gone, and I’m just hot now.“

 

Jesse gave Hanzo another smile, more genuine this time. He was truly glad that Hanzo felt a little better, it meaning his care was helping.

“Those are great things to be thankful for”, Jesse replied. “Especially for your first Thanksgiving.”

They exchanged fond looks again before continuing drinking their soup. The documentary had still continued during their conversation, so they both resumed watching.

 

Jesse thoughts wandered off, worry about Hanzo’s state, glee towards how Hanzo had just indirectly thanked him. Their friendship was definitely one of the weirdest ones he’d ever had.

They’d met two months earlier, and Jesse formed a crush nearly instantly. It had subsided fairly quickly since then, but as he became closer friends with the substitute teacher, he just really wished they could grow into something more.

But who knows where Hanzo would go after his final lecture next week Thursday? He seemed to be all over the world before he came into Jesse’s life, and Jesse was truthfully scared Hanzo would simply leave it all behind, leave him behind, nothing more than a picture on his portfolio.

 

He forced that thought away, though, not ready to… confront it. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be, but that time would eventually come. He could deal with it then.

 

Sometime around 22:00, after the second documentary was finished and Jesse and Hanzo had just chatted about some cool fish they’d seen, Hanzo yawned.

“‘M getting sleepy again”, he stated. “Think ’m gonna go sleep for the night.”

 

Jesse was a bit saddened by the idea of their first day together to an end. Yet he was also worried about Hanzo’s state, cause while Jesse had managed to let Hanzo’s fever subside a bit, it was nowhere near gone.

“Hey, lemme help you get up.” He offered.

“Can’t I sleep on the couch?”

“Nope. I mean, you can, but I think you’ll sleep better in bed. I changed your sheets while you were napping, so you’ll probably sleep like a rose.”

“Alright”. Hanzo gave in, sticking out two arms. “Help me up?”

 

Jesse helped Hanzo up and let the ill guy stumble back to the bathroom to brush his teeth while Jesse got the pillow and blanket, returning the former to Hanzo’s bed and holding on to the latter.

“Can I… have the blanket too?” Hanzo asked, surprising Jesse. “Just for the night. Sorry. I just like it.”

Jesse really had no choice but to spread the blanket out over Hanzo, who looked absolutely precious burrowed deep in bed. Jesse wanted nothing more than to join him, no matter how hot it might be in that cocoon.

“Alright.” Jesse said, sounding as comforting as he still could. “Now you go sleep, see if you feel any better in the morning, and text me when you wake up if you need anything.”

“Mmm-I will.” Hanzo murmured.

 

Jesse turned around to pack his things and go home, but stopped dead in his tracks as he heard one last soft noise behind him.

“Jesse?” the soft voice inside asked.

“What is it?” Jesse asked, hoping for one last thing he could provide.

 

 

“Can you... stay?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, really, what would you do?


	9. Separation Anxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse's scared of losing Hanzo as the end of his teaching gig approaches... Can he make peace with it?

**Wednesday, December 3rd, 10:00**

The alarm blared through the apartment living room as Jesse flailed under the blankets, falling off onto the ground. He recognised the alarm tone - it was the backup tone that sounded when he slept through the first alarm, effectively loud and piercing.

He reached an arm in the direction of his phone, finding it laying on the glass table next to him. Wait, where was he? The lighting in the room was different to when he usually woke up - brighter, making it hard to open his eyes. And the hardwood floor was… soft?

 

Looking around, Jesse realised he wasn’t in his bedroom. He was tangled up in a fleece blanket and laying on a soft, light grey carpet. The couch next to him was still imprinted from him laying on it all night- Right. He’d slept over at Hanzo’s.

 

The poor guy had fallen ill, and asked Jesse to stay over as he laid in bed. Jesse had jumped at the opportunity to fulfill his request, although he frankly had no clue why. He’d asked Hanzo why, but the latter gave him nothing but a breathy murmur in response. Jesse wasn’t sure if Hanzo even had an answer. The older man had fallen asleep soon after anyway, softly breathing in peace. Jesse had once again been overwhelmed with a wave of fondness as he moved the blankets over Hanzo’s shoulders.

He had gone home afterwards, picking up Hanzo’s keys from a table near the front door to let himself back in. He’d grabbed a sleeping shirt, blanket, and outfit for the following day, only a fifteen-minute trip back and forth, had worked on the essays a bit again and then fell asleep on the couch in Hanzo’s living room. Part of him urged to just go home, disregarding Hanzo’s wish as a fever-drunk wish, but the rest of him easily won over, the part of him that wanted to fulfill the ill man’s every request.

 

Carefully opening the bedroom door, Jesse checked if Hanzo was still sleeping. Sure enough, the hump of fabric in the bed softly raised and lowered and familiar snores pierced Jesse’s chest. He felt his emotions from the previous night rise up once again, an overwhelming need to hold Hanzo, to tell him he was there, with nothing but his gestures.

His phone once again started blaring the backup alarm, Jesse now realising he’d only pressed the snooze button earlier. He nearly dived towards the phone, still laying on the coffee table, and turned it off completely. Shit. Jesse wished with all his heart that the noise hadn’t woken Hanzo. The man had been asleep for twelve hours, more than enough, but Jesse was pretty sure his heart would tear into shreds if he was the one to disrupt Hanzo’s peaceful state.

Luckily, the snores hadn’t been disrupted, the blanket’s breathing continued steadily and the aura seemed just as peaceful as earlier. Jesse breathed a sigh of relief.

 

But he needed to get ready for class. It pained him to leave Hanzo behind, but… Well. Jesse really couldn’t think of a reason to go, other than simply not wanting to miss a class when it could help him with the assignments. Though if the choice laid with going to class or staying with Hanzo, he knew his preference.

He got ready nevertheless, simply so he felt better about sitting in his friend’s living room. He wasn’t able to shower, but it was fine - he simply tied his hair and let that be that. It took about twenty minutes before he was sat on the couch, munching on some of the crackers with the spicy hummus - which was good, he needed to buy some for himself - and looked over the assignments again. If he was going to skip the class, he was going to have to compensate.

 

It was ten minutes before the class he was supposed to attend started when the bedroom door opened, Hanzo walking out in the same shirt and sweatpants he’d worn the day earlier.  
His eyes still looked… wrong, and his complexion was still ever so slightly pale. Jesse thought he looked a lot better than the day before, but not fully. Jesse prided himself on the improvements.

 

“Hey, bud!” He said almost enthusiastically, noticing his tone and tuning it down. “You look a lot better, how do you feel?”

“Mmm, a bit better, I suppose.” Hanzo murmured, sleep clear in his voice. “My head’s still hot, but the pounding in my body’s gone.”

Jesse couldn’t help but smile, glad to hear his help had… helped so much. Hanzo spoke again.

“Why… um, why aren’t you in class? Didn’t you have Amari’s class? Right now?”

A shiver of stress went down Jesse’s spine, but he tried to answer with as much confidence as he could muster.

“Nah, bud. I can miss this class, it’s not important. Don’t want to leave you home alone when you’re not better yet. I can just work on my assignments instead.” He held up his laptop, showing Hanzo he was… well, intending on working on it.

“No, no, Jesse, you need to go to class. You can’t miss it.” Hanzo sighed, still trying to rid his eyes of sleep and his head of the remnants of fever. “You’re sweet for… wanting to make sure I’m feeling good, but… You need to value… class.”

 

Jesse sighed, closed his laptop, and got up. He really couldn’t help but listen to this man’s requests, could he?

“Alright, well… if you insist. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I can come back here after class if you need some company.”

 

Hanzo nodded through Jesse’s questions, smiling slightly at the last one. Exactly the reaction Jesse had hoped for. As the student walked to the front door, backpack slung over his shoulder, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, Hanzo embraced them in another hug. God, Jesse had missed this feeling. He immediately returned the gesture, and though it was a quick one compared to their embrace the previous day, it seemed to be enough for the older man.

“Good luck, Jesse. I’ll see you later.”

 

**Wednesday, December 3rd, 14:25**

Jesse rang Hanzo’s doorbell again, finally having returned to the man’s apartment after too many hours of class. Amari had glared Jesse down as he ran into class almost fifteen minutes late, quickly grabbed a seat and opened his laptop, hiding away. He’d also sneakily sent Hanzo a selfie, showing he was in class, and the older man again replied with a single thumbs up.

The class had actually proven useful to the assignment he was supposed to finish within a few days, so he deemed the time well-spent. Of course he had rather spent his time with Hanzo, but his condition had improved drastically - Jesse had only felt comfortable leaving him on his own after having returned to the apartment twice to remind Hanzo to drink water, even if the man was three years older than him. But now he was finally back where he wanted to be, and the buzz of the front door opening sounded like music to his ears.

 

Hanzo opened the door, welcoming Jesse with a timid smile. Jesse countered with a very genuine grin.

“How was class?” Hanzo asked simply. He definitely sounded a lot healthier than he had the day before.

“Oh, y’know, the usual.” Jesse replied, really not wanting to think about class now that he was with Hanzo. Ironically, seeing how Hanzo was still his professor. “You were right though, they did go over some stuff I needed for the assignments.”

“Told you” Hanzo replied with a knowing smile. Jesse was hit with a wave of suspicion.

“Wait, Hanzo, did you know that today’s class would help me with the paper?” Jesse was shocked at the idea of Hanzo helping him personally, even if ever so vaguely indirect.

“Well... ” Hanzo begun. He had changed into comfortable but presentable clothes and was in the process of cleaning up the apartment from his laziness while he was ill, pausing to drink his coffee. “Amari complained to me that students probably wouldn’t notice she was discussing the exact material they needed for the paper, so...” He looked directly at Jesse again. “Technically, I only told you to go to class. Like a guidance counselor.”

 

Jesse presented this best abhorred face, absolutely failing as he pushed back his laughter, still genuinely shocked that a man who clearly valued professionalism had given Jesse such… personal treatment.

“Wow, Mr. Shimada. I guess I should thank you for the help, then.”

“Well, you’re very welcome, McCree. Er, Jesse.” He quickly added, knowing Jesse’s feelings about his last name. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Lord, yes. I forgot to bring my thermos from home yesterday, so I’ve been without coffee all day.”

 

Hanzo quickly made his way back to the kitchen as Jesse sat down on the couch, lifting the laptop out of his apartment as he had wanted to review the notes he wrote down in class. It was then he noticed the blanket he’d brought folded up neatly on the other end of the sofa. Jesse was just returning it to his backpack as Hanzo came back with a fresh cup of coffee, setting it down in front of him.

“Ah, yes, the blanket. I found it on my bed this morning. I suppose I should thank you still - I feel I didn’t. Yesterday. Not enough.”

“Absolutely no need, bud.” Jesse smiled. “It clearly helped you relax yesterday, which you needed. You.... asked to sleep with it too, and I couldn’t deny you that, could I?“ He tried his best to add a mischievous tone to the confession of his acting on his feelings, while it had been very genuine the night before.

“Ah.” Hanzo took another sip of his coffee and cleared his throat. “Did I… possibly… also ask you to sleep here?”

Jesse nodded, thinking it would be best not to inform Hanzo of the exact words the older man had used. “You did. I… thought it was best to do so. In case you needed something. I guess.”

“Yes” Hanzo quickly rebutted. “I’ve suffered from fever dreams whenever I got ill throughout my life, and I… I tend to wander.”

Jesse nodded again, his experiences being similar.

“To be honest with you” Hanzo continued. “last night was mostly a blur, but… There’s a feeling with which I can predict when I’m going to have those dreams. I suppose that in a rush I must have asked you to sleep here to ensure I wouldn’t be alone”. Jesse was surprised to see the older man blush ever so slightly. “I am truly sorry if it caused you any inconvenience.”

Quickly sitting up, Jesse set his laptop and coffee down on the coffee table.

“Oh, it didn’t.” He quickly reassured Hanzo. He was a bit disappointed by formal-Hanzo’s return, the barrier between them once again tangible. “Really. If anything, I’m sorry for sleeping here when you weren’t sober enough to disagree.”

“Don’t worry”, Hanzo rebutted, “I know you were simply trying to make sure I was okay. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your care yesterday.”

“Hanzo”, Jesse emphasised, trying to remind the older man a bit of their friendship, “It’s absolutely no problem. You’re my friend, of course I’m going to try and help you.”

Hanzo smiled softly again, Jesse almost mistaking his gaze for fondness.

“Of course”, Hanzo agreed, “It’s just that… I don’t think I know anyone else here who would have done this for me. I’m just very grateful. Thank you, Jesse.”

Satisfied, Jesse picked his coffee up again, leaning back and taking a sip.

“Anytime, Hanzo.” He smiled. “What are friends for?”

He was one to talk. He wasn’t sure if he’d met anyone at MIT he’d do this for either. And now he was doing it for his stupidly hot friend... and professor.

 

He sighed. Hanzo had his final lecture next week Thursday, before winter break started. Vaswani would be back after it, and Hanzo would be… gone. They hadn’t discussed it, honestly not discussing much outside of casual matters anyway, but Hanzo clearly was only in America for this teaching job, and who knows…

Jesse decided to bring it up. He really just needed to know.

“So… Next week Thursday.” He begun. Hanzo nodded, focus lying elsewhere. Jesse waited until he had his attention before continuing. “Your final lecture.”

Hanzo really couldn’t do much else but nod, sipping his coffee. Jesse pushed further.

“Looking forward to it?”

“Mmm”, Hanzo quickly swallowed, “I mean… Your class is… reasonable? I don’t have much teaching experience, but they were… reasonable. I’m just glad I won’t have to anymore - it’s more stressful of a job than you might think. I still haven’t finished grading those essays.”

 

It wasn’t really the answer Jesse was looking for, but he figured he could ask later. He also just… didn’t really want to know. Maybe if he didn’t think about it, it would take longer.

“Oh, right, those essays. Got my grade yet?” He asked with a smirk.

“Ha”, Hanzo laughed louder again. A wonderful sound. “I do. Graded it the day after you turned it in. Do you want to know?”

“Er… Sure”, Jesse replied. “As long as it won’t sour the mood.”

“You got an 84.” Hanzo stated, surprising the younger man. “Honestly one of the best grades in the entire class so far.”

“Really?” Jesse was genuinely shocked. He’d worked hard on it, sure, and it had made sense to him, but he never got grades that high. “Even with Vaswani’s standards? I mean, I’d guess she told you how to grade us.”

“No, actually. I have my own system. Satya did give me instructions - five pages of them - but she doesn’t need to know I didn’t follow them.”

Jesse laughed. The contrast between Vaswani and Hanzo was shocking, but once again he didn’t find a single reason to complain.

“Of course I’d get better grades when you’re around. Can’t you... stay?”

 

Hanzo took a few seconds to reply, sipping coffee once again. Silence that Jesse filled internally with panic as he used the request the older man had sprung on him the night before.

 

“I’m afraid not, Jesse. When Christmas break rolls around I’ll have to… Move on, to different projects.”

The words stung. More than usual. Jesse really didn’t want Hanzo to go. Ever. Every time they talked he felt genuinely happy, and he’d been able to do so much more for school simply because of that. Hanzo gave him energy. Hanzo gave him ideas.

“That… sucks.” Jesse admitted. “But hey, I was thinking...”

“Hm?” Hanzo replied, eyebrows raising from behind the mug.

“Next week Thursday is your last lecture, right? Why don’t we… Go out for something to eat afterwards? Just to celebrate you finishing teaching here, and christmas break for me? I’ll take you somewhere with great food- I know just the place.”

Hanzo seemed a little surprised by Jesse’s offer, but quickly replied regardless.

“Uh, yeah! Sounds good to me. I actually hadn’t planned anything to celebrate finishing. Great idea.”

“Cool”, Jesse smiled. “It’s settled. Thursday next week.”

 

“But to the matter at hand,” Hanzo continued, pulling Jesse out of his blissful state, “Your assignments are due within a few days, yes?”

“...Right”, Jesse admitted, really not wanting to think about them. “Thought I’d work on them here for the afternoon.”

“You’re more than welcome. I need to work on finishing the essays too. How about we both just go sit at the dining table and put on some music? I’ve got some leftovers in the fridge.”

“Sounds good to me. We’re both gonna need the support. What’ve you got?”

 

Jesse decided to enjoy the day ahead. Spending time with Hanzo, his unfortunate crush, as much as possible. Even if it was for school. It would be the best way to spend the afternoon.

 

If only he could stretch time.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time, sorry. Working up to a big... moment, I suppose.


	10. Sincere Disposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse still has a burning question for Hanzo and he figures their celebratory dinner might be the right time to bring it up.

**Monday, December 8th, 19:45**

Jesse was still pretty stressed working on Morrison’s paper. He’d finished Amari’s pretty rapidly last Wednesday with Hanzo’s company (the substitute swore he wouldn’t even remotely try to help him as long as he was still his teacher), and after becoming unnerved about seeing how he was never going to finish the second assignment in time, Hanzo had mercifully offered to get him an extension. So now, with only a minimal amount of begging, Jesse had received one extra week to finish, time he spent gratefully. Hanzo had helped him work on balancing a healthy lifestyle with working for school, and even came over in the weekend to help Jesse cook a fresh dinner.

He was just going for a study break when his phone informed him of a new email, this one from Hanzo informing everyone that the grades were posted online. Jesse was surprised to see himself having a higher grade than most, but also knew that it wasn’t entirely his own doing. He figured he should enjoy it as long as he still had Hanzo, considering he probably wouldn’t get grades like this after the substitute left.

 

God, he was gonna miss him.

 

**Tuesday, December 9th, 12:15**

Hanzo was sure to discuss the essays first thing this week, discussing several points the class had discussed and some similar ideas everyone seemed to have and how they’d discussed it. He had to keep it short though - he still had to catch up with the material they’d missed the previous week.

Jesse was finally able to immerse himself in the subject at hand, and any time Hanzo addressed him neither of them seemed to be able to stop smiling.

 

One more lecture to go. Just one. Then Hanzo would be gone.

 

**Thursday, December 11th, 17:30**

Hanzo opened the door to his apartment, welcoming Jesse with a familiar smile. They’d agreed on him picking Hanzo up at this exact time, and Jesse was, if anything, punctual. After all, this was it - the evening of the final lecture. Hanzo’s final business in Massachusetts was complete, and pretty soon he would be gone. Jesse had no idea what his plans were, or his next location, or, really, anything beyond tonight. It’s mostly why he asked Hanzo to join him for dinner- to be able to ask him just that.

 

“Hey!” Jesse grinned. “Woah, nice outfit.”

Apart from the few times Jesse had seen him outside of class, the older man looked impressively casual- and also extremely familiar. The leather jacket was the same one Hanzo had hanging on Jesse’s coat rack those few weeks ago, and under it--

 

“A flannel shirt?” He added with a smirk.

“Yes”, Hanzo returned the expression, “I bought mine just last week. I didn’t realise how nice these were until I… borrowed yours. So I got my own. I hope I’m not underdressed for the occasion?”

“Of course not!” Jesse quickly replied. “We’re celebrating you being done with teachin’, not going out to sign some contract. But c’mon, I did actually make a reservation for 6pm, so we should get going.”

“Should we take the car?”

“Nah, let’s walk. It’s not too far from here.”

 

**Thursday, December 11th, 18:03**

Leather jacket slung over the back of the seat, Hanzo and Jesse sat next to the window of a cozy yet fairly empty burger bistro. The early christmas lights outside illuminated the snow softly falling, the world feeling empty but far from isolated. Inside, soft music was playing, indistinguishable over the soft conversations resounding from the different tables people had filled. A bark of laughter from a group of friends elsewhere in the corner got the two men laughing, inciting a fresh conversation.

“So this restaurant seems pretty empty for the lovely atmosphere it emits.” Hanzo begun. “Why’d you make a reservation?”

 

The single waiter on duty came by to take the men’s orders for drinks, both of them ordering a simple beer. They decided to take a glance at the menu as they waited for their drinks.

“Yeah, I guess it’s the snow outside.” Jesse stated. “This place can be pretty full sometimes, but I wanted this specific spot. These guys know me well enough.”

“You come to eat here often, then?” Hanzo asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Chyeah. These burgers are amazing. Especially,” Jesse pointed on the menu, “the Holy Guacamole-- I mean, it has nachos. And guac. On a hamburger. It’s mind-blowing.”

“Hmm, that does sound enticing.” Hanzo agreed. “I’m more interested in this though - the grilled chicken wrap?”

“Wraps? Wait, I had no idea they had wraps.”

The waiter came back with their beers, placing the two tall glasses in front of them. Hanzo ordered the wrap, and Jesse didn't even have to inhale for the guy to know what he wanted.

 

After Jesse waved him off, Hanzo addressed him.

“So, Jesse.” He begun, taking a sip from the tall glass of ale, leaving a thin line of foam caught in his beard.

Jesse laughed under his breath and pointed at his top lip. Hanzo raised an eyebrow, eyes then growing wide. He quickly moved his wrist to wipe the foam away with his sleeve.

 

“Anyway”, he begun again, “Got any exciting plans for the Christmas break?”

“Nah”, Jesse quickly replied, knowing his answer all too well. “Going out with Gabe tomorrow to celebrate the end of the semester, ‘n then probably goin’ home for the holidays. Not looking forward to it, but I already skipped Thanksgiving, figured I don’t have an excuse to stay up here all alone…”

 

Hanzo simply nodded, probably not knowing how to reply all that well. Jesse took that perfect opportunity to finally ask what he really wanted to know.

“So anyway, what about you? Got any plans?”

 

The older man just sighed. Started a sentence a few times, failing every attempt. He finally gathered his breath, sighing once again before another attempt.

“I’m moving away to London next week. I’ve got a project there starting February and, well… I don’t have much of a reason to stay here. Guess I’d go and… familiarise myself with the city.”

He knew it was coming, but Jesse was still disappointed. The words didn’t sting like he’d feared, but instead hit a target far deeper. It hurt in a way where Jesse didn’t even think to reply. He couldn’t find a single word to say.

 

This man had been the first person in his life to care about in a long time. The first person in a long time to take care of him, and the first person in a long time who Jesse wanted to care for.

Only now, he realised he wanted to keep Hanzo here. It was probably impossible, but… was it? Wait, what was going on? What did Jesse even feel for this guy? The crush had left, he thought… Sure, after Hanzo explained what happened that one drunken night and how he stayed over, Jesse knew the feeling had returned, a simple wish turned into a soft admiration, but he dismissed that easily enough as well. Why now...

 

God, Jesse was still way gone for this guy.

 

“That’s...” He cleared his throat, finally begun a reply. “That’s good, I guess. New project, huh?”

“Yeah.” Hanzo’s voice sounded soft. “I’m still an actual architect, y’know.” He laughed, still as soft as he sounded. “This teaching gig was… just a favour for Satya. She knew I had taught at, like, one other university, so she just asked me.”

 

Their gazes met, Jesse’s confused frown against Hanzo’s… well, it looked almost sad.

“Wait, you’re actually friends with Vaswani?” Jesse couldn’t believe it. The contrast between their respective teaching methods was huge - it was hardly realistic that the two could be friends.

“Well, she’s more of an acquaintance.” Hanzo explained, voice slowly coming back to its regular self. “A… connection, really. I only know her as a professional. I would hardly consider her a friend. She lent me her apartment and her car for the time being, but I think it’s just because she needed a housesitter and knew I wasn’t a total slob.”

“That was HER apartment?!” Jesse was shocked. “Well, it explained the interior design. I’d hoped that wasn’t your choice. All that boring grey, and white...”

“Ah, well, I’m not much of an interior design person, anyway.” Hanzo explained. “I usually just stay in hotels while working on a project. The past few years, I’ve never really stayed anywhere for longer than… a few months, maybe.”

“Of course, I’ve seen your Instagram. You’ve been, like, everywhere, haven’t you?”

“Well, I hadn’t been to Massachusetts.” Hanzo smiled.

 

They interrupted their conversation as the waiter brought their dishes. Hanzo looked impressed at how photogenic their plates looked.

 

“This looks great, honestly”, He begun. “I mean, of course, the side salad is tiny and definitely won’t compensate for the fries nor this unstable composition of ingredients that’s the hamburger - but it looks delicious.”

“You just tell me if the wrap is good - I wanna try it too, sometime.”

 

They both took a few minutes to simply eat their respective dishes, exclaiming several times through full mouths to express enjoyment.

Jesse was halfway through the ‘unstable composition of ingredients’ before he again decided to probe Hanzo.

 

“So if you and Vaswani aren’t even good friends, why’d she ask you to help her?”

Hanzo almost reluctantly tore himself away from his wrap to answer.

“She just knows I’m a professional architect who taught once before. Frankly, I never even had the feeling she asked me out of respect, rather than just the fact she knew I’d be available.”

“Wow.” Even Jesse felt a bit offended by that. Hanzo was clearly much better than her. Why else would Jesse have improved so much in class? “How’d you even meet her?”

“A few years ago. But that’s quite a long story.” Hanzo said, almost dismissing the idea. Jesse sensed his reluctance.

“Hey, man. I’ve got this huge plate of artisanal fries to finish, I’m all yours.”

 

Hanzo looked up at Jesse for a second and scoffed.

“Alright, then.” He took a few seconds before beginning.

“I grew up in a similar family to yours. Big empire, built on the backs of those less fortunate, expected me to take over, all of that.”

 

A minute passed as Hanzo gathered his thoughts, mostly busying himself with the half-finished wrap.

“My younger brother...” He sighed. “He was careless. He accidentally leaked the… less glorious practices of my family’s business to the public media, and soon… the whole empire fell. My brother fled from investors, to somewhere deep in the Himalayan Mountains, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

The fries on Jesse’s plate were the last thing on his mind. Hanzo continued eating without a problem.

 

“Anyway, like you, I was aware and had been protesting against the problems for years. There was a choice… I could take the fall, saving the empire, or I could show the world I was against these practices, but my family would disown me.”

“Dude, what the hell?”

“Of course, like you, I stopped caring about my family soon after I found out what they did, so I chose the latter, figuring I could keep a figment of dignity in the public eye. It worked, but I would have to start out on my own. I’d followed an architect education earlier in life, just like you, and spent years making connections with people. Hell, as soon as I could legally drink, I was at every cocktail party hosting the people I needed.”

 

Hanzo once again took a minute to eat. Jesse took the time to try and form a reply.

“I really, really don’t know what I expected… But it wasn’t this.”

“The connections worked, I got a few architect jobs and soon was able to make a name for myself. Now I’m just… Following jobs. Traveling the world. What I really wanted to do, actually. It’s a much better life than what I would have had in my family’s business, so I’m much better off.”

 

The exhale and shrug at the end of the last sentence indicated Hanzo was done with his story. He finished the last of his wrap and continued on with the fries as well.

“So...” Jesse begun. “First of all, I’m… surprised to hear all of this. I guess I just never thought about what your story could be.”

“It’s no problem, Jesse. You might honestly be the first person I’ve confided all of this to. Apart from people who already knew me from the rest of the Shimadas.”

“I just… Thanks for… trusting me like that.” Jesse continued. It was heartfelt.

“Of course, Jesse. You confided in me as well, and you’re my friend. The closest friend I’ve had in ages, honestly.”

 

Jesse now finally understood why Hanzo had to leave. He was building a life for himself. Every time he moved on, it was to help himself grow. It didn’t make the fact hurt any less, but at least now Jesse understood. Understood why Hanzo had to leave. Be alone again. He desperately wished he could show Hanzo any sort of… care. Love. Affection.

 

If only he could.

 

**Thursday, December 11th, 20:25**

The two got up, deciding to walk back home. Jesse went to pay for the dinner as Hanzo waited at the door.

“Hey...” Jesse begun. “Can we just walk for a bit? I know you have to pack tomorrow but it’s still pretty early. We can take our time.”

“Yeah, sure. It’s a lovely night.” Hanzo replied with what could only be described as a warming smile. At least that’s how Jesse felt about it.

 

The town streets still looked warmly lit, while the snow fell around them. The two of them walked in silence, the deafening emptiness quickly filled with soft sniffles as Hanzo’s nose grew a soft, endearing shade of red. It took a few minutes before Jesse grew enough confidence to talk again.

 

“So, when are you… leaving?”

“Next week. Enough time for me to finish up business here.”

“I’ll… miss you, y’know.”

 

It was heartfelt, yet almost cheesy, and Jesse wished he could take it back out of fear of the message coming over wrong. Hanzo took a second longer to reply.

 

“I’ll miss you too, Jesse. But I have to thank you for your friendship. It’s meant a lot to me while I was here. And I’ve still got your number - we can continue talking. I don’t intend on leaving you behind here.”

“I’d love that.” Jesse smiled.

 

The cold disappeared as he felt his gut heat up, butterflies probably returning. They distracted him as he suddenly realised he had slipped on the snow underfoot, Hanzo reaching out to him too late as Jesse fell on his ass.

 

“Aww...fuck.” Jesse exclaimed “That hurt. Yup.”

 

Hanzo reached out a hand, wrapped it around Jesse’s right bicep as he pulled him back up. Jesse leaned on him a little more than necessary to regain his footing - something he deserved, he told himself. They continued their walk along the river, Boston skyline shining on the other side. Hanzo chuckled.

“You did the same thing when you were beyond drunk that one night, y’know.” He saw Jesse raising his eyebrows, and elaborated: “You slipped and fell. This was basically like déjà vu.”

They laughed a little at the prospect of drunk-Jesse slipping as Jesse spoke up.

“God, I’m a mess when drunk. I’m sorry you’ve had to see me that way. Twice, even.”

Hanzo’s laugh died out a bit quicker than usual, his voice turning soft as he addressed Jesse again.

“Jesse?” The addressed man looked at him. “Promise me you’ll be careful when you drink from now on? I can’t be here to bring you home anymore. And I don’t trust this... Gabe. Last I heard of him, he just abandoned you for some guy.”

“It’s fine, bud.” Jesse tried to reassure him. Then again, he liked hearing Hanzo care about him. “But you’ve got a point, I’ll try to tone it down from now on. I definitely won’t go kissing random guys again.”

 

Oh, well, fuck. Of course. Of course he’d bring it up. Why couldn’t he just grin and ignore that thought? This was not what he needed right now. Jesse quickly added a fake laugh to the promise, trying his hardest to make it sound light-hearted.

 

“Jesse.” Hanzo spoke up. A shiver ran down Jesse’s spine. Whatever could come after this… Well, Jesse had no idea, but he didn’t feel too great about it.

“Jesse, I need to tell you about something.”

 

They stopped walking as Hanzo led them both to the railing between the path and the river. Jesse liked having something to lean on, the entire evening intended to be a goodbye, rather than an awkward conversation.

“That night… The night that you got very drunk...”

Hanzo inhaled a few times, unsure of how to continue the story. Jesse waited patiently yet stressfully for whatever was coming, but broke his gaze towards Hanzo to look at the skyline across the river, letting the older man find his words.

 

“I was walking you home… You asked me why I was so nice to you when your regular professors were horrible.”

Jesse nodded, following along intently.

“I explained to you that I was your friend and trying to get you home safely. You… you… You must have realised something because you looked very…”

 

Hanzo sighed, the following words coming out as a stream. “You kissed me. Again.”

 

Oh. Well. Fuck. This was news to Jesse. They’d talked so much since that night, and Hanzo never told him. Of course, it’s one hell of a subject to discuss, but still… Why didn’t Hanzo tell him? Sure, their relationship had only improved since then, but…

Was Hanzo only nice to him because he knew Jesse was interested in him? Was Hanzo…

 

“I just want to thank you. I’ve realised a lot about our relationship since then.” Hanzo continued. “I had no idea how you felt about me, but it was a moment of revelation for me. I can’t explain it well, but… You were one of the first people I’ve ever met who’s genuinely cared for me. Of course, I had no idea if you meant it, if it was merely attraction you were acting upon like the very first time we kissed, but… This time was different. You told me you thought I was different. I was better. I thought a lot that night. And when you were sober and showed me the kindness that you had, rather than kicking me out, I decided to think you cared. Which you then continued showing again and again.”

 

Jesse was… He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t form any thoughts, mind merely racing with the idea that Hanzo… He... might…

 

“And… also... I kissed you again that night.”

 

Blank.

 

“I kissed you, I did it. It was a panicked decision, but it was necessary. And I am sorry. I am so--.”

“Hanzo...” Jesse cut him off. “Why was it... necessary?”

The older man took a few moments to catch his breath as he replied. “You… You were drunk, you had just kissed me, I panicked and didn’t kiss back, so you got... sad, and I had to kiss you to show you that I cared-- obviously I cared. I had no idea if you would remember that at all, but you needed it to stabilise yourself, and… I had to--”

“Hanzo” Jesse repeated himself. “You… cared?” The information was all coming in too quick to process, but Jesse caught the important parts.

Hanzo shut up as he nodded and got up from the railing. “I did. I do.”

 

Jesse followed his stance and looked over the water, sighing. He looked back at Hanzo.

 

“Thank you, bud.”

Hanzo met his gaze, smiling softly through watery eyes. God, Jesse needed him to feel better. Maybe...

 

Not looking away, Jesse stepped closer, put one hand on Hanzo’s shoulder. Their shared gazes connected, a hopeful thought meeting an idea of gratitude.

 

The other man hesitated only a single moment before finishing the gesture, grabbing Jesse by the side to close the distance between them and reconnect their lips in a kiss.

Both men leaning back to look each other in the eyes, Jesse choked out a cry of laughter as he hugged into Hanzo, the older man quickly returning the gesture.

 

“God, Hanzo.” Jesse sniffled in Hanzo’s shoulder. “Can you stay?”

 

 

 

“Y’know”, Hanzo replied, “I think I can.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then... Finally.
> 
> Again, I want to thank everyone so much for the support. This fic truly has a special place in my heart now.
> 
> Especially want to thank Ilona for putting up with my endless streams of consciousness trying to get the plot together and Tiegan for... proofreading. 
> 
>  
> 
> BTW:  
> Chapter 10 is not the end.


	11. Second Resident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo moves in with Jesse. Can their relationship survive being close and personal constantly? (spoilers: its a fluff fic, what do you think)

**Monday, December 22nd, 21:56**

The sound of Hanzo’s suitcases on Jesse’s living room floor sound almost like a melody. It’d only been a week and a half since their big dramatic rom-com kiss moment, but Jesse was no less excited to know Hanzo would be staying over at his place for a few weeks.

The London project started on the 6th of February, so they’d have a little over a month to spend together before Hanzo would have to depart. Plenty of extra time for now, in Jesse’s opinion.

They’d discussed where Hanzo would be staying the day after their night walk, Jesse being the one to bring up the idea of Jesse’s apartment. Hanzo had agreed, but only after the younger man assured him four times that it was no problem and his pleasure.

Both of them had certain worries (Hanzo’s mostly stemming from their… relationship, he would love to call it, and Jesse’s mostly stemming from being a bad roommate for such a high-class guy), but they’d both reassured each other everything was going to work out as long as they both went the necessary extra mile.

 

The two men both smiled as they saw each other, Hanzo being interrupted from taking off his coat as Jesse hugged him.

“Hey there”, he smiled at Jesse, trying to wrap his arms around the other man as well but failing as his arms are still halfway inside his sleeves. “Hey, can I take my coat off?”

Jesse let go of the older man for a few seconds to allow him to finish hanging up his jacket but clung back onto Hanzo as soon as the garment was out of his hands.

Their hug ended with a quick kiss as Jesse finally let go, still smiling fondly at the older man now that he could finally release all the pent-up affection he was dying to express. He had Hanzo for a whole month, so why not start strong?

 

“God, Han”, Jesse said fondly. “I’m just so glad you’re here now. Where didcha leave the boxes with your stuff? Gotta get those out of the way so you can just move in.”

“Oh, there’s just one”, Hanzo replied. “Just outside the door. The rest is in these suitcases.”

“Wait, that’s all of your stuff?” Jesse asked in disbelief. They went outside to retrieve the big metal box, and it looked underwhelming on its own.

“Yes. Doesn’t make sense to bring a whole household with me when I’m never in one location long, does it?” Hanzo asked as he watched Jesse chivalrously carrying the box inside. “I’ve got most of my belongings, personal and necessary, in this box. I guess it’s what people in our field call minimalist living.”

“Babe” Jesse groaned as he set the box down on the living room floor. “I don’t talk to ‘people in our field’. That’s all you. I don’t know anyo--”

 

Hanzo smiled for half a second before looking away. Jesse just realised it as well - He’d called Hanzo ‘babe’. It came out so naturally, so effortlessly, it was shocking to both of them. But not in a way that either of them really minded. Jesse would have to think of some more interesting names - he didn’t mind ‘babe’, but it was a little… basic.

He smiled as he picked up Hanzo’s two suitcases and started bringing them towards the bedroom, gesturing towards Hanzo to follow him so they could unpack as they talked.

 

“So… My closet still has plenty of space and hangers for your shirts and sweaters and stuff, and you can put jeans in these separate drawers. I like having everything sorted.”

“You know”, Hanzo continued, “speaking of people in our field… There’s a convention coming up in June, we could go there and have me introduce you to some of my friends. Maybe you could learn some stuff from them?”

“You know, Han”, Jesse imitated his tone, “I would rather meditate for thirty years in Nepal than meet a bunch of people who know way more about this shit than me after my first year of failing Building Tech.”

The other man gasped and feigned offense as Jesse realised his own sass. Frankly, he still didn’t care about his major but he knew how much Hanzo cared about architecture, so he quickly added onto his statement.

“Oh, shit, sorry… I’m sorry. I just mean I couldn’t talk to those people, y’know? They’d just laugh at me.”

Hanzo grinned through his offended facade as he held Jesse up to address him.

“It’s okay, Jesse.” He reassured the younger man. “I’m definitely not making you go if you don’t want to.”

 

Jesse smiled at Hanzo again as they continued hanging up clothes. Jesse mostly worked on making sure Hanzo’s jeans were neatly folded and not bunching up inside the drawers, while Hanzo continued on sorting the different types of tops on his side of the tall wardrobe.

“Now, I keep my socks and underwear in these two drawers so how about you take the two next to them?” Jesse asked. “Oh- and do you have any clothes that still need to be washed?”

“Oh, yes, actually.” Hanzo said, and pointed at a mesh bag inside his suitcase. “Those right there. I didn’t get a chance- it’s been a hectic few days making sure the apartment was good to go before I returned the keys to Satya.”

“I can imagine.” Jesse laughed under his breath. “If she’s as strict with her house as she is with us. How is she, anyway? Did she have to deal with a lot of drama with, uh, Vishkar?”

“She seemed fine, honestly. I mean, yeah, she did deal with quite a lot of backlash but her having left the company prevented her from losing her reputation. Plus, our interaction was most likely purely business-related for her. I don’t think she even has a clue I’m still here. She didn’t ask, at least.”

Jesse laughed at that idea. Of course Vaswani would keep it strictly formal.

“Maybe you’ll run into her at the grocery store or something, with her thinking you’re all the way in England.” Jesse smiled as Hanzo huffed a breath of laughter. “Anyway, hey, how about you just finish up the last few things while I go throw in this laundry, and we unpack the box of your stuff together?”

Hanzo nodded and agreed, and went on with his task as Jesse left the room.

 

They were both squatted down as Hanzo lifted the lid off the large box. The first few objects that rested on top were mostly business-related, such as Hanzo’s laptop and several maps containing business files, so Jesse quickly stored those away in a large closet in his living room so they could look at Hanzo’s personal items.

There were photos of landscapes (“Most of those were taken in Italy, which I still want to return to someday. Haven’t had a chance yet.”), a box of accessoires, several full notebooks (“Journals. I write in them honestly just about every day.”), and some other items Hanzo explained he brought everywhere with them just to make places feel like home. There weren’t a lot, but Hanzo had clearly added a lot of sentimental value to them over the years.

“Well”, Jesse replied to that, “You’re home now. So I guess we should find a place for these, huh?”

 

It took no less than fifteen minutes to empty the whole box - and while the few items looked good among Jesse’s, and Hanzo was fittingly sentimental about these home items finally being in a more permanent location, it was still underwhelming. He should go shopping with Hanzo sometimes for some new personal items.

“Well then”, Jesse added as he sat down on the couch, just having moved the empty moving box out of the way to finish Hanzo’s ‘moving in’.

“Welcome home.”

 

**Monday, December 23nd, 00:13**

A yawn came from the other side of the couch as Jesse looked up from the email he was writing to his dad, only to witness a truly photogenic moment - Hanzo’s face completely scrunched up as he stretched. Perhaps the most informal moment he’s caught the older man in so far.

 

“I’m... exhausted.” Hanzo groaned, “It’s been a long few days with moving out and such.”

“I can imagine, babe”. The word felt better now, easier. Jesse was gonna enjoy calling him that. “How about you just go prepare to go to bed? I’ll finish up this email and join you after.”

Hanzo nodded, setting down his laptop in favor of his phone as he made his way to the bedroom. Jesse was nowhere near done trying to fit an explanation of why he wouldn’t be attending the McCree christmas dinner this year in as formal of a message he could.

 

Jesse was never great at being business-like, even when his dad had taught him for years and insisted on being addressed as formal in all of their interactions as ‘training’. With Hanzo, he never had to be formal… At least not on his side of the conversations. If anything, he was so glad to have Hanzo opening up to him a lot the past few weeks - because in all honesty, the “Let’s keep it formal” Hanzo had gave him all that time ago had hit somewhere too close to home.

 

It took him nearly half an hour to finish describing “Yeah I’d rather sit on a prized assembly of cacti than attend your fake tradition year after year” in a polite tone, especially when he was weirdly focused on the soft noises in the background of Hanzo getting ready to go to bed, pleasant sounds as he indirectly realised the domesticity of their relationship. Almost blissful. But finally he could set down his laptop, stand up, stretch, turn off the lights, and also make his way over to the bedroom.

As he opened the door, he was welcomed by a loving smile as Hanzo looked up from his phone. It was stunning for Jesse to see him in his bed, almost as though he’d been missing an essential part of the bed for years and years. God, he couldn’t wait to complain as Hanzo hogged the sheets, or kicked them off completely in the summer while Jesse couldn’t sleep without them at all.

 

“Hey there”, Hanzo said, voice soft as it was late for both of them. “That took a while?”

“Yeah”, Jesse rubbed his neck, still standing in the doorway. “Hard to explain to your homophobic dad that you wanna spend christmas making out with a guy rather than at his place, y’know.”

Hanzo laughed softly, not much noise escaping through his small grin.

“I can imagine”, he replied. He looked down for a second before adding: “But c’mon, get in bed. I technically live here now, I’ve been looking forward to this.”

Jesse laughed as he entered the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. As he returned to the bedroom, he undressed to just his boxers - his preferred sleeping outfit. He felt just a little embarrassed to be exposed, but that was a basic human response - he didn’t feel the need to hide from Hanzo, really.

 

As he slid in on the other half of the bed and grabbed his phone as well, Hanzo adjusted his body to lean partially against Jesse as he continued scrolling through social media. Jesse couldn’t do much but lean his head on Hanzo’s, sighing contently as he could finally receive and present the physical affection he’d been dying to show the older man. He had just turned to smooch Hanzo on the top of his head as Hanzo pulled away, leaving Jesse internally whining at the loss of warmth.

Hanzo took off his glasses as he put aside his phone, sighing as he looked at Jesse. Jesse was worried about Hanzo’s posture, clearly indicating he wanted to discuss something, but couldn’t help but… admire Hanzo’s comfort. He was sitting there, hair loosely hanging to one side of his head, glasses gone, simply wearing a grey shirt. A huge step forward from “Let’s keep it formal” Hanzo. The simple difference between his professor looks and how he was currently situated next to Jesse symbolised such a huge step in how their relationship had grown, it was almost… poetic.

 

“Jesse.” Hanzo started, pulling Jesse’s attention back to the situation. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you. I couldn’t, simply because I’ve been very busy the past week and a half and have barely had time to see you.”

“I know” Jesse replied, reaching an arm out to Hanzo’s leg, where he was met by Hanzo’s left arm, intertwining their fingers to bring one of them down to a level of security. Jesse wasn’t entirely sure who. “I’ve missed you, but I’m just glad you’re here now. What is it you wanna talk about?”

Hanzo breathed out, clearly unsure of how to begin. His hesitance made Jesse nervous, not entirely in a bad way as Hanzo’s hand, warm in his, brought back a sense of security, but there was still an air of… discomfort.

 

“Remember when we kissed after our dinner, and you brought me back home?”

Ah. Jesse had an idea of where this conversation was going to go. Something they did need to discuss, yes. Not because Jesse was eager… But because he wasn’t sure.

“You suggested you… sleep over, remember?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m sorry, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I was... definitely going way too fast. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, Jesse.” Hanzo looked back at Jesse, squeezing his hand. “I mean, yes, I’ll admit I thought it was a bit… rushed. But I do feel attracted to you in that way. I don’t want you to think I feel any other way.”

Jesse simply smiled and gave Hanzo’s hand a squeeze as well.

“There’s one other thing I haven’t told you about, though.” Hanzo continued. He took a moment of silence again, maybe figuring out his words, maybe building courage to bring it up in the first place. Jesse couldn’t tell. Maybe both.

 

“There was a time where I… Well, I felt lonely. It was a few years ago, when I had spent several years already on my own, and it was as though I was too busy with my job to date. So I sought affection in a different way.” He sighed again. “Random strangers through dating apps, mostly.”

The story was not uncommon, but Jesse was still taken aback to hear what Hanzo implied. While he’d gotten to know Hanzo a lot more than he expected over the past few weeks, there were still sides to Hanzo that were surprising.  
“I spent a few months… with different men.” It was clearly a tough subject for Hanzo to discuss, but the guy remained admirably calm and straight-forward. “It felt good at the time, but it was after a while that I recognised what I now know - I was simply looking for attention to substitute the emotional support I was lacking, and it was damaging me more than I should have ever let it. I was being an idiot.”

“No, no, babe” Jesse interrupted him. He wasn’t going to let Hanzo talk himself down for mistakes in the past. “You were alone for so long, you shouldn’t blame yourself for wanting some love.” He inhaled as well, as he prepared to share his own… experiences. “I’ve done some stupid stuff too, y’know. I’ve never… spent the night at other guys’ places, but I’ve had some... drunk experiences. Remember when you told me I wanted to go to your place on that first drunk night? I mean, granted, you were a dream guy, but it really wasn’t a sound decision, was it?”

Hanzo laughed just the tiniest bit. “Well, you’re right on that. And honestly, you were lucky it was me, because… Well, I did kiss back as I lost myself in the blissful feeling of being cared about, even if, again, it was someone who I didn’t know and who likely wouldn’t remember me. But... I panicked more than a little bit the next day, especially when I realised it was you, a student I would be seeing again, reminding me again of my past mistakes. But I had the amazing luck of you also apologising, not feeling any sense of pride in taking anything from me, like every guy in my past.”

Jesse shushed Hanzo, who was starting to talk fast, panicked. “No, no, Hanzo. I felt honestly horrible about taking advantage of you, and I beat myself up a lot over making those drunk mistakes again. I could never disrespect you in that way.”

Hanzo sighed again. “I’m not sure how I would’ve thought of you if you weren’t so respectful about what happened. I don’t think we could have been friends if...”

 

He ceased the rest of the sentence, leaving a moment of silence between them.

 

“Well then, I’m glad too, babe.” Jesse brought their closed hands to his lips to softly kiss Hanzo’s knuckles. “You should know I’m extremely grateful to have you. You’re a wonderful guy who I love and respect very much. I promise to give you all the affection and love you want from me.”

“Thank you.” Hanzo smiled, blushed. “I just wanted to explain that I might not feel ready for sex for a while. I just want to make sure I’m comfortable.”

“Absolutely, Han.” Jesse reassured him. “You are my number one priority right now. I promise.”

 

“Jesse?” The older man asked.

 

“Yes, Han?” Jesse turned his head to look the man straight in the eyes.

 

“Thank you.” Hanzo expressed, closing the gap for another kiss.

 

 

 

__________________________________________________________

( _I also had a very vivid idea of what Jesse's apartment looked like while writing this fic and I had the Sims at my disposal, so here's my interpretation of Jesse's apartment_ )

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perks of gay fanfic being written by an actual gay guy aka me: realism in ways you definitely don't want it.


	12. Season's Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse and Hanzo share Christmas and New Year's together. Neither of them are really sure what to do.

**Thursday, December 25th, 15:34**

It was Christmas day. The snow was steadily falling once more, draping a blanket of silence over the campus. Very few people were actually outside, due to the temperature dropping far below freezing, but Jesse and Hanzo’s apartment was warm and toasty, providing the perfect atmosphere.

Jesse had just returned from a quick run from the store to get supplies for what he called “The Best Hot Cocoa Ever”, which was, simply, hot cocoa with a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg, whipped cream, and chocolate chips on top. Hanzo had warned him he would “Literally go into anaphylactic shock” if he drank it, but Jesse was an experienced drinker. Hanzo was gonna have to keep up with his lifestyle if they were to continue dating. Or, y’know, honestly, he would give up his hot cocoa in the blink of an eye if it meant being with Hanzo.

 

The guy was sitting on his couch in one of Jesse’s comfort sweaters, which he had insisted Hanzo could borrow for a lazy day like today, having streamed some sort of fireplace program to Jesse’s TV for the background ambiance while he was working on…. Something. Jesse was definitely interested in Hanzo’s career but the older man told him he didn’t want to continue thinking about work, especially when he was having a chill night next to Jesse.

They were both aware it was Christmas, having wished each other happy holidays that morning, but neither of them really had plans for the night. Hanzo had been far too busy finishing up teaching and moving out to plan anything, and Jesse had never made plans for Christmas, or, really, any other holiday, and had no idea how to, especially when it was just the two of them. An amazing fact, still.

 

“I’m back!” Jesse half-shouted, grinning as he took off his boots and jacket. He was still getting used to Hanzo living at his place, but it made him happier constantly nonetheless.

“Ah, hey there.” Hanzo smiled back. He set down his laptop to welcome Jesse back - with a half-second hug. “Nevermind, you’re freezing. I care about you, but I’m not sacrificing my body temperature for a hug. Do you want coffee?”

“Hanzo.” Jesse stated stoically, standing tall for one and a half second before breaking back into his regular self. “I literally just got back from buying stuff for the best hot cocoa? Screw coffee.”

 

The younger man ran over to the kitchen to unbag the ingredients, blocking Hanzo from touching it before he was done. At least a recipe like this, with very limited ingredients, he would be able to make flawlessly. When it was finally done, Jesse handed the bag of chocolate chips over to Hanzo, who smiled as he pinched just a few on top of his whipped cream, starkly contrasting Jesse’s cup, which was nearly fully covered.

 

“Y’know” Jesse begun, picking at the excessive amount of chocolate on top of his drink. “in Scandinavia they have this way of drinking hot cocoa where you get a glass of hot milk you get to dump actual chocolate in. Still wanna go there and try that someday.”

“You can get that at the coffeeshop two streets away from here as well, y’know.” Hanzo replied as he stirred the whipped cream into the drink and carefully sipped. “I mean, I’ve only been - Ouch, way too hot - I’ve only been there once or twice, but I saw a few people drink hot chocolate like that.”

“Wait, really?” Jesse asked, not as much surprised as he was disappointed to cross one thing off of his travelling to-do list. “I’ve never been there. I don’t like to pay that much for just a cup of coffee when I’ve can brew a cup right here.”

“Yeah, me too.” Hanzo replied. “Also, Jesse, there’s far more interesting things to check out in the world than hot cocoa in Finland. I’ve been to countries where they often serve their hot chocolate drinks with chili. I think you’d like it, really.”

“Lots of hot cocoa to check out, then.” Jesse joked. “No, but really, there’s way more I want to see. You said you went to Italy? Was it for a project or…?”

“No, that was for that convention I mentioned, but a few years ago. That was in Rome, actually. I was only there for three days, but it was still an amazing trip. I just love the old buildings. Speaks volumes about how the architecture of centuries ago still influences us to this day. I mean, you know about the aqueducts that ran for miles, right? They continuously sloped down just a fraction of an--”

“Hanzo, Hanzo, babe,” Jesse interrupted the older man. “C’mon, you’re done with the teaching gig- and it’s my Christmas break. Not now.” He added a smile.

“Alright, fine.” Hanzo chuckled. “But yeah, speaking of Christmas, do you want to do anything specific tonight?”

Jesse scrunched his nose. “Nah. I’m good. Unless you had surprise plans for me...?”

Hanzo laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “No… I’m sorry. I’ve been very busy and spent most of today replying to emails I’ve been ignoring.”

“No, no, it’s fine, How about we just order in, cuddle up, and watch a movie?”

“Sounds like a great plan.”

 

**Wednesday, December 31st, 12:00**

“Twelve more hours of this year, Jesse.” Hanzo told the younger man from across the table at the cafe they’d chosen to get lunch.

Hanzo had offered to take Jesse out for a romantic dinner, but Jesse refused, knowing that there would probably be no restaurants with a table left on New Year’s Eve, and the whole town would likely be crowded all night, which both of them would rather avoid. So here they sat at a small cafe in Boston, having a romantic lunch instead.

 

“Would you say you’re happy or sad that the year is ending?” Hanzo continued his question.

“Well, first of all, thank you for the cliché question.” Jesse laughed. “And secondly, I don’t know. As with any year, it had its ups and downs. Like how I finally started getting away from my family, and failing at school, and meeting you, and drunkenly kissing you… You get my point. Lots of stuff. Really though, the new year is only gonna let me continue my dreams. So I’m happy about that.”

“Wait… Are you saying that drunkenly kissing me was a bad decision?”, Hanzo joked.

“I mean at the time, yeah. But now I’ve come to find out kissing you while sober is just... so much better.” Jesse winked, holding up his cappuccino. “Hope I’ll get to do lots of that the coming year as well.”

Hanzo chuckled, holding out his mug as well. “Cheers to that. I’ll try not to disappoint you.”

 

**Wednesday, December 22:04**

“Two hours left.” Hanzo informed the man lying against him, having just picked up his phone to check the time.

 

The sky was already filled with flaring lights and loud bangs, people celebrating prematurely. The two men were laying on the living room couch, huddled up underneath their favourite throw blanket. They hadn’t done anything for most of the night, really. Jesse had suggested watching a movie, but Hanzo couldn’t wait any longer than five minutes of looking through Netflix for something good to watch before he simply pulled Jesse down onto the couch, where they’d spent a good hour or so laying there, talking about nonsensical things, kissing on and off.

“Mmmm...” Jesse simply hummed in acknowledgement, face buried somewhere between Hanzo’s chest and the throw blanket, unable to throw back a proper reply.

 

Hanzo lifted the blanket, catching the younger man’s sight as he looked up. “You okay under there?”

“Mmmmmmmyeah. Think I’m gonna make a cup of coffee, though. Do you want one?”

“Sure”, Hanzo replied, pulling back the blanket to let Jesse get up.

“Ah shit, I’m cold now. Stay there, I’m gonna get back under in a sec.”

 

Walking over to the kitchen, he threw his regular amount of coffee powder in the filter and turned the machine on. He’d almost fallen asleep on Hanzo’s chest, so he spent the time it took for the coffee to brew to reassess his consciousness, barely missing how Hanzo got up to use the bathroom.

 

As he walked back with two clean mugs and the entire pot, Hanzo lifted the blanket back up so they could both sit under it with their coffee. Jesse thanked Hanzo and kissed his cheek, and they continued cuddling in silence.

“So, how about we just watch a few episodes of The Nanny before midnight?” Hanzo suggested. “I don’t think we’re gonna be doing anything else exciting.”

“Oh, good idea.” Jesse simply replied, already getting back up to retrieve his box set from the bedroom.

 

After he returned, inserted a disk into his laptop, turning on the episode they last left off, and sat back down next to Hanzo under the big throw blanket, Hanzo squeezed his hand.

“So Jesse.” He begun, not continuing his sentence as an indication he was asking for Jesse’s full attention.

“I got you something.” Hanzo said, holding out a small cardboard box for Jesse, with a note attached.

“Hanzo, babe...” Jesse silently replied, unsure of what to say. A New Year’s gift, huh. It looked strangely familiar, but Jesse wasn’t sure where to place it.

He opened the note to read the contents: “Dear Jesse. I love you. Happy New Year’s.”

 

The small array of words left Jesse speechless. He couldn’t do much except allowing the cheesy grin forcing itself. He looked over at Hanzo, who was looking back expectantly, eyebrows raised, questioning smile.

"I'm sorry if this is weirdly soon", Hanzo remarked. "I know it's been only a few weeks since we started dating, but we've known each other for a few months and you've been so--"

“Oh, babe, babe...” Jesse cut in. He was fairly sure his tear ducts had activated. “I love you too. Seriously. I do. I mean it. I mean, it is soon? But not in a bad way. I feel the same way.”

 

Hanzo’s smile widened into a full-face grin as he also stuttered out what could have been a sigh of relief mixed with an exclamation of happiness.

 

“Open the box, though, Jesse, open it.” He continued excitedly. Jesse was pretty sure he’d never seen the man so energetic.

He opened the box to reveal a dark brown leather watch inside. Same brand as the one Jesse bought for Hanzo months ago. It was… beautiful. No doubt about it.

 

“Remember last Saturday when I was in town for hours?” Hanzo smiled, still sounding unmistakably excited. “I was picking out this watch for you. It took a while to find the right one, but I’m sure this one is perfect. For you.”

 

Jesse was speechless. The watch was gorgeous, and absolutely his style. Of course Hanzo would be the guy to think of the perfect symbolic gift. The guy’s a genius.

“So Hanzo”, he started. “I didn’t get you anything for tonigh--.”

“Well, you got me my watch.” Hanzo interrupted him. “This is also partially me paying back.”

 

“Babe...” Jesse replied fondly, waiting a second before resuming his point. “But I do have one more thing I wanted to ask you, and now’s a great opportunity.”

“What is it?”

“Well, with you being busy for the past few weeks, and then us living together and getting used to that was distracting, and in the end I never asked you. I mean, I should’ve, but you don’t always get an easy chance, y’know? It’s really not even an important question, I mean, we’ve been--”

“Jesse, what is it?” Hanzo repeated, smiling but enunciating.

 

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Jesse blurted out, relieved yet also surprised at himself for saying it. He said it.

 

“Oh, Jesse...” Hanzo replied softly. “You’re right, that never happened. Were we never... official?”

“Well... I’d like to make it official...” Jesse added, not sure what to gauge from Hanzo’s reaction. He trusted the other man, but insecurities never failed to creep up.

“Oh, but my answer is yes.” Hanzo stated quickly, not wanting to give Jesse the wrong idea. “Absolutely, one hundred percent yes. I just never thought about it. I’d love it. I really would.”

 

There it was. The answer Jesse needed to solidify his trust in Hanzo. It was straightforward, clear, and unmistakably Hanzo.

“God, Hanzo, I love you.” Jesse said, initiating a kiss.

“I love you too, Jesse.” Hanzo replied.

 

At midnight, they kissed, and kissed, and when Hanzo woke up the next morning, still on the couch, under the large blanket, Jesse was still softly snoring on his boyfriend’s chest.

He'd never expected to be living with a guy he cared about for a whole month by now... but he was. 

In the morning winter light, he found himself softly wanting a chance to spend every New Year's this way.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short-ish chapter, but the upcoming one will be much longer. Anyway, it's official now! I feel accomplished.


	13. Separate Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo goes off to London for a month for his job.

**Friday, January 30th, 18:04**

Jesse and Hanzo sat at the small dining table next to the window overlooking campus. Although the snow had settled down the past few days, the weather was still unforgivably cold. They’d spent the past few nights with extra thick throw blankets just to be able to sleep.

Tonight, Hanzo had cooked a simple rice dish and Jesse had helped him. A relatively easy dish compared to some of the stuff Hanzo cooked, but it made it easier for Jesse to work alongside him. He’d started helping out in the kitchen starting a few weeks ago, when the university’s Independent Activity Program started, leaving more time at home for Jesse to hang out with Hanzo. The latter was still mostly busy preparing for the London project, which was now approaching surprisingly quick.

 

“So are you sure you can’t take me with you to London?” Jesse once again teased Hanzo in between bites.

“I really wish, Jesse.” Hanzo answered, looking back both melancholic and fond. “But you know the hotel room I’ll be provided with won’t accomodate for two people, and you still have to follow school here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

 

It was a conversation they’d had a few times. At this point, Jesse was mentally prepared to be alone for a month, but if he had the choice, of course he’d rather spend it with Hanzo. Of course he’d rather live together with the guy forever. Who knew.

Of course, the past month showed a few sides to both of the men that the other didn’t quite appreciate, like Jesse’s untidiness from only living alone for half a year getting in the way of Hanzo’s systematic thought process, and Hanzo’s logic, rationality, and sometimes paranoia often halting Jesse’s ideas for fun activities.

 

But the two men cared about one another, and after some mild fights, cooling down, adult conversations, and mindfulness towards one another, Hanzo learned to loosen up a bit and found himself enjoying meaningless pastime activities much more than he ever did, and Jesse learned to take care of his surroundings and habits and found himself feeling peaceful and stressless.

Both of them learned a lot in the last month, both about each other and themselves.

 

“Also, Jesse.” Hanzo spoke up. “I know we agreed to video call nightly, but you should know I probably won’t be able to every single day. I’ll always let you know, of course, but business dinners and just plain tiredness can really get in the way.”

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” Jesse quickly said before swallowing his bite. “Nah, I figured you probably wouldn’t be able to all the time. Just let me know, it’ll be fine.”

“Alright then, cool.” Hanzo smiled softly. “So I’ll probably call you around 10pm at night, which will be 5pm your time. Is that okay? I know you’ll probably be home by then.”

“Yeah, babe, I’ve basically cancelled all of my plans for the coming month so I’ll be here to receive all of your work rants and pictures of the Big Ben. And the Eye and stuff.”

“Wait, did you really cancel all of your plans?”

“Haha, nah, I was just kiddin’. I still only have like two friends here, and we barely hang out. Don’t worry about me.”

“Okay. good. I just want to make sure you’re not setting anything aside just for me.”

“Nah, babe. I’ll miss having you around for the coming month so I’m just really... glad I’ll get to hear you every day.”

“Well, you still have a week of me, so I’ll try not to talk your ears off until then.”

“Thanks, Han.”

 

**Thursday, February 5th, 04:56**

Jesse looked around himself as he walked back to the terminal where Hanzo’s 4am flight was nearly an hour late already.

 

He’d went off to Starbucks to grab them both some coffee, which they both sorely needed, even if they hated overpriced coffee. Jesse figured they could both pick out something special as a last thing to do together before being apart for a month. Jesse got the Caramel Frap with an extra shot of espresso (for the actual coffee content), and Hanzo told Jesse to pick out something for him, so Jesse chose a Coconut Latte, not too simple, but not too elaborate either.

Everyone that walked past him was either rushed or visibly rattled from the time of day. Jesse yawned. He couldn’t blame them. He, too, was absolutely exhausted. Hanzo had insisted Jesse sleep peacefully as he went off to the airport as not to disrupt Jesse’s sleeping schedule, but Jesse refused to let his boyfriend leave on his own.

 

So now here they were, already waiting an hour and a half at this terminal, sleep deprived, both anxiously awaiting the flight and hoping it would take just a little longer so they had a moment more together.

 

With an “Ah” that was louder than probably intended, Hanzo looked up as Jesse came back with their drinks. “I just went to speak with that man over there by the check-in - He told me the flight could take anywhere from another half an hour to an hour. So we’re stuck here for a while longer.”

“Well, good thing I got the coffee then, huh?” Jesse forced a smile he didn’t necessarily hate as he leaned on Hanzo. “God, can I just sleep on your shoulder like this for like ten minutes? I’d lie here on the chairs but they’re not comfortable.”

“But if you’re asleep, who’s gonna keep me from falling asleep?” Hanzo joked. The Jesse of a month and a half ago would have powered through the tiredness by this statement alone, but the Jesse of now… well, he still would. Good thing he got the coffee, indeed.

“I’m gonna nap on the plane, I think.” Hanzo said, taking a first sip of his latte. “It’s a six hour flight and with the five hour time difference, I’ll probably land in London at around 5pm, it’s probably best if I don’t sleep too much so I can at least crash at a reasonable time.”

“Y’know what’s funny?” Jesse laughed under his breath. “I thought that with how much you’ve travelled over the years, you’d know exactly how to deal with jetlag.”

“No, actually. It’s one of my biggest downfalls when it comes to travelling. I’m always either sleep deprived or looking badly put together. Don’t be surprised if I’m halfway asleep by the time we call tomorrow. ”

“I’ll be ready, babe.”

“Also, what was this again? A Coconut Latte? It tastes almost like they threw some coconut shavings and a pound of sugar in a regular latte. I don’t think you chose the wrong drink, I’m just saying that there’s far too much sugar in here. The coconut taste works well but I prefer my coffee to be less sweet.”

“Can I try? I got the caramel frap, I can stand some sweet.” Jesse said, lifting his head from Hanzo’s shoulder.

 

Hanzo held out his drink for Jesse to grab but Jesse moved his hand to Hanzo’s cheek instead, giving Hanzo a full but PDA-appropriate kiss.

“Ugh, yeah, you taste like a freaking candy bar. Too much.”

 

**Friday, February 6th, 17:10**

Jesse was more than ready for their first video chat with Hanzo in London. After Hanzo’s flight had finally arrived, they’d both hugged and kissed each other as much as they thought was necessary, and Jesse went home and crashed in bed for another good seven hours, the first day alone in his apartment was… weird. It had been just like any other day before December where he’d been alone in his apartment, except now it was… empty.

He had no idea what to do with himself. He had had an early weekend before regular classes started again the next week, so he couldn’t do much except sit at home, unsure of what to do. He didn’t have any important homework, the house was still clean, and nothing on Netflix looked interesting. All Jesse really wanted to do is talk to Hanzo, but since Hanzo didn’t have international data, they could only really text when Hanzo was at his hotel - which didn’t happen much the first 24 hours.

All Jesse had received was a picture of London at night from Hanzo’s hotel window accompanied by a “Finally here” at 6pm (Hanzo’s 11pm, he instantly calculated) and he knew Hanzo probably fell asleep pretty quickly after. Today, he received a few 5am texts from Hanzo explaining he would be gone for most of the day but was sure to be back at his hotel for their first call.

 

The ringtone finally rang on Jesse’s laptop just as Jesse was panicking about the ten-minute delay. Jesse answered the call, and was soon met with the image of his comfortable-looking boyfriend smiling back at him.

 

“Hey babe!” Jesse grinned.

“Hey, Jesse.” Hanzo smiled back, softly, but his eyes truly shining through with adoration. Jesse knew Hanzo was also glad to see him. “Hey… I’m pretty tired, so I probably won’t be… talking... as much. But I’ll try my best.”

“It’s okay, Han. I know. I expected you to be.” Jesse did. He was still a little disappointed, but with the jetlag and the first few days of the project probably being overwhelming, it was only natural Hanzo was tired.

“So anyway,” Jesse continued. “How’s your hotel room? Did they set you up somewhere nice, at least?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s not the most expensive hotel, but still very nice.”

 

Hanzo’s webcam capture suddenly started flailing around as he turned around his laptop to show Jesse the room. It was relatively large, resembling more of a studio apartment lacking a kitchen.

“Nicely decorated too. I’ll be pretty content for the coming... month. Also, it has good wifi so... these nightly calls should go well. Without problems.” Hanzo scratched his neck as he looked back at Jesse. “Anyway, what did you do today?”

“Not much, just been… sitting at home. ‘S weirdly empty now. Just been here catching up on schoolwork, y’know. That starts next week again.”

Jesse was honestly not sure what to talk about. He didn’t expect them to chat for hours on end, but he had hoped their chat conversations to be a little more interesting. Granted, Jesse sat at home all day doing nothing in anticipation, and Hanzo was bone tired…

 

“Hey, maybe we can chat while I cook dinner?” Jesse suggested. “I’m gonna make some pasta, so you can just hang out with me. Oh, but I do wanna try making my own pasta sauce.”

“Good idea.” Hanzo replied. “I’ll mostly be eating room service or at restaurants, so... I’m gonna miss cooking. Also, I’m gonna do some work too, but just speak up if you want to say something.”

 

Laptop set up on a counter overlooking most of the kitchen, Jesse started filling up a pot with tap water to boil.

“So when do I add the salt again...?”

“After it boils but before you put in the pasta.” Hanzo stated, yet again, voice cutting in from the sounds of the older man typing intensely. Jesse was already 90% sure about when to add the salt, but… it also felt nice to involve Hanzo. It was just like he was standing right next to Jesse, annoyed at his forgetfulness right there instead of overseas.

“Right, I knew that.” Jesse quickly added. “Now I did get fresh vegetables instead of a pre-mixed pasta mix, but I’m still not great at chopping so that’s gonna take ages.”

“Move the vegetables, not the knife.” Hanzo reminded him. Jesse continued to do the exact opposite again, having nearly cut his fingers a few too many times with the ridiculously sharp knife set they’d bought early January.

When the vegetables were finally all chopped (Who thought it was a good idea to put so many different greens into one dish?), the water was already near boiling. Jesse continued to add a few sprinkles of salt into the boiling pot, added the pasta, and lowered the heat. Pulling out a skillet, he sautéed some minced meat and added the pile of greens after.

 

As Jesse was in the middle of blending the tomatoes and red bell pepper together for the pasta sauce, a groan came from the other side of the skype call.

“I can’t do this, I’m too tired.” Hanzo was putting aside his laptop. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Oh, babe, is it the blending? You can mute me for a sec, it’s almost done.”

“Oh, no, Jesse, I meant the paperwork. I can’t focus. I’m happy to see you and your apartment, that’s not the problem. But I’m gonna go change and stuff and then go sit in bed. So I’ll be right back.”

“Alright, babe, no problem. I just gotta finish and add the sauce and then I’ll pretty much be done.”

 

Ten minutes later, Hanzo returned on the screen, having dug into bed and pulled the laptop onto his lap. One thing was missing from the image, though.

 

“Wow, you’re sleeping shirtless? That’s new. Why don't you do that here?” Jesse smirked at the camera as he prepared a plate of pasta for himself. He’d seen Hanzo topless by now, but in bed, he was used to soft shirts and comfort.

“Yes… I’m shirtless and I’m cold. My suitcase was missent so it won’t be here until tomorrow. Now, this has happened twice before, so I bring at least three sets of clothing in my carry-on luggage every time I travel, but I forgot sleeping clothes this time so... here I am. Cold.”

“Aww, babe, just think of me and you’ll be warm in no time.” Jesse winked as he sat down at the dining table and took a first bite of the plate. “Oh, y’know this is not bad. Half a year ago? This would’ve been a disaster.”

 

Hanzo smiled as he pulled up the comforter to underneath his arms, covering as much of his torso as possible.

“Half a year ago, I would not have been at all comfortable with someone seeing me shirtless like this. I still feel exposed, honestly.”

“Babe, you look great.” Jesse replied through a mouthful of pasta he quickly swallowed. He really needed to quit his acceptable habit of replying immediately. “You know I’m a big fan of you and your bod, right? I mean, considering we’re boyfriends and all.”

“Oh my god, Jesse. Stop.” Hanzo sounded faintly annoyed, but it was overshadowed by the huge smile on his face. “But thank you. I am gonna go sleep, though. Still very tired. Sorry for cutting this call so short.”

“No problem, babe. We have a whole month to call each other, and you deserve sleep. Goodnight, I love ya.”

“Goodnight, Jesse. I love you too.”

 

**Saturday, February 7th, 17:05**

Jesse once again sat uneasy, eager to start the call with Hanzo. The texts Hanzo sent him in the morning did make Jesse’s morning much brighter, but in the absence Jesse still found himself with… not much to do. Hopefully with school starting next week, he could focus on that.

The video chat ringtone once again sounded from his laptop, and Jesse once again hit Answer.

 

“Heyy, Han.” He smiled. Beamed, probably.

“Hi, Jesse!” Hanzo sounded a lot more energetic than the day before, and Jesse noticed his eyes looking a lot fresher as well. “Guess what, my luggage finally came in today, so I can settle in a little.”

“Oh, nice”, Jesse answered. No more shirtless Hanzo on call then, huh? Shame. “But you seem less tired than yesterday! What’dcha do today?”

“Haha, yeah, I’m actually still pretty tired but it’s likely mostly the jetlag - I can deal with it. As for today, I actually went for a short lunch with my client… or… boss? I don’t really know. Regardless, after that, I was only a few streets away from the Westminster Bridge - y’know, where the Eye and the Big Ben are, so I decided to be a tourist and visit them again.”

Hanzo pulled his phone up, looking to that instead for a few seconds. “Honestly, it’s still always a feat to see the big monuments. Here, I sent you a vid I took.”

 

Jesse heard, and felt, his phone buzz from where it was pinned between his thigh and the couch. First turning off the vibration yet again, Jesse tapped the text notification on the screen to jump to their conversation, which looked awfully sparse, even compared to when they lived together for a month, having access to one another nearly constantly.

The video finished downloading a few seconds later, and Jesse tapped to play it. It started off with Hanzo on front facing camera, wearing a winter jacket and smiling.

 

“Hey Jesse - I’m on the Westminster’s Bridge here and look!” The camera swiveled as Hanzo turned to capture a large tower behind him. “The Big Ben. Still impressive to see, with its sheer age, you know. And, also, look--” The camera once again turned, now showing Hanzo in front of the Eye. “It’s the Eye. Just figured you might want to see them both.”

 

Jesse was a bit surprised to see Hanzo so energetic. On the video chat, he wasn’t that surprised - they were just happy to see one another, but Hanzo looked really happy - the kind of happy Jesse sometimes purposely tried to have happen.

“Sweet”, Jesse said to the real Hanzo on the video chat. “Probably better to see them in real life though, right?”

“A little.” Hanzo answered. “There’s nothing really interesting about them other than seeing them again. Besides, I’ve been here twice before, and while I enjoy seeing the sights, it’s not that exciting anymore. I’m just a tourist, I guess.”

“I’ve barely ever even left the States”, Jesse remarked. “Went to Vishkar HQ a few years ago but that was it. I’m jealous of you, y’know. You get to go to all kinds of places, even if it’s for work.”

“One of the very few perks of my job, I suppose. I’ve been to six of the seven continents already. But everywhere I go,” Hanzo stretched out his arms with a sigh, “I’m alone.”

“Hey, babe.” Jesse said softly, letting a moment of silence fall. Hanzo’s mood visibly plummeted - something Jesse needed to fix. “You’re not alone anymore. We’ll travel everywhere together. That I can promise you. You’re a man of the world, and I aspire to be one. Together we can be the unstoppable gays travel journals warn us about.”

Hanzo laughed under his breath and closed his eyes. “Yes. Let’s travel together. You can be my new experience. A fresh take on things. You pull me around the world and take me to places we’ve never seen... and I’ll translate for you.”

“Sounds like a great time, Han.” Jesse smiled back softly. “Let’s do it.”

 

**Tuesday, February 10th, 12:00**

“Hello, everyone,” Vaswani begun as Jesse rubbed the sleep from his eyes. With not having had a real schedule since halfway through December, he’d let himself go, and waking up to an early alarm again had almost gone wrong completely. He’d barely had the time to shower and get dressed, but he was still in class on time, to Vaswani’s hesitant approval.

“It has been some time since I was last here… I trust none of you have grown lazy over the past few months. I know Mr. Shimada likely… allowed a bit more leeway than I might have, but matters will go back to their regular pace now. Now for the matter at hand - I see some of you have chosen new seats. By Thursday, I expect all of you to be back in the agreed plan, or I will personally relocate you.”

Whew, that sounded familiar. Hanzo had said the exact same thing on his first day in front of this hall. Speaking of which - Jesse hadn’t had a chance to check if Hanzo had sent any messages that morning. Checking his phone, there were a few. Just a good morning text, a picture of sleep-fresh Hanzo having his first cup of coffee, and a few messages detailing his plans for the day. Jesse smiled, then typed back a few messages as well.

 

**Jesse:** _Vaswani is back, and she’s pretty much pissed at how you fucked up her class_

**Jesse:** _Judging by how annoyed the class is today I think you did well tho_

 

He quickly put away his phone as Vaswani started the lecture, having spent an entirety of two minutes welcoming herself back. Relentless as ever. Jesse didn’t have too much of a problem keeping up, as he’d spent yesterday evening’s call with Hanzo doing actual homework, on Hanzo’s advice, of course. They both enjoyed each other’s company as they worked on their respective duties, not socialising for hours on end but rather simulating a regular evening. It worked wonders for Jesse’s mood.

 

By the time the lecture had ended, Vaswani had called out Jesse’s last name and asked him to stay behind. Another situation that felt too familiar, but seeing Vaswani’s regular stern look quickly grounded him from that thought process.

“McCree, I was personally informed by professor Shimada that your performance leapt forward in the time he was here. I hope you won’t fall behind now that he’s left.”

“Ah, I don’t think so. We…” Jesse scratched his neck, hesitating to continue. “We just got along. And he helped me find my motivation again. Trust me, I’ll keep on track.”

 

**Tuesday, February 10th, 17:23**

The video call had been active for a while, the two men both at work, before Jesse decided to address something he wanted to know.

“So y’know Vaswani was back today?”

“Yes, I read your texts. Was it that clear she thought I had made a mess of her structure?”

“Her entire face just emitted some sort of annoyed anger. And she was ruthless during the class. I was finally able to keep up though, so I should thank you for that.”

“I personally think you’ve made great strides with your own efforts.”

“Funny, I heard the same thing from Vaswani today. Or, wait, she told me that you told her I was doing great in school? Very subtle, Han.”

“Why not? I was proud of your progress. Can’t a man be proud of the change his work makes in the world?”

“Han, by then, we were fully making out. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you being proud of remotivating me but I think you were also… Well, I don’t know what compelled you to talk about me, but I’m flattered.”

“Oh shush, Jesse.” Hanzo smiled. “But hey, in the end I did help you work on school again, no? I mean, look at you, you’re doing revision right now.”

“Not out of my free will”, Jesse joked. “Nah, I’m kiddin’. But I do have to admit you make it fun somehow. Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome Jesse. Thanks for keeping me company as well, or else I would be sitting alone in a hotel room all day. Love you.”

“You’re welcome too, babe. Love ya.”

 

**Saturday, February 14th, 17:34**

The ringtone for the video call rang once again. Hanzo had texted Jesse he was gonna be late, but it was no problem on either end. The two of them had called every night since Hanzo had left, and neither of them had any complaints. The atmosphere was always relaxed enough to do work but not isolated, and since the first month of living together, they’d learned to appreciate each other… passively.

 

Jesse enjoyed Hanzo’s sudden sharp breaths as he had a mental conversation with himself, and Hanzo found the way Jesse could rarely sit still in one position for longer than approximately seven minutes absolutely endearing. Both traits which were still conveyed over video chat, so neither man had to miss anything.

 

Today was Valentine’s day. Jesse was reminded by numerous straight couples all over campus, rudely interrupting his grocery store run for dinner ingredients for a couple of days. Why those people can’t at least try to hide their PDA when his boyfriend was overseas, tragically out of smooching reach, was still a homophobic enigma.

Jesse had thought about what he could have done for the supposedly romantic day, but everything he wanted to do required Hanzo to be… not in London. It might have been his undeniable touch starvation, but lately, Jesse couldn’t help but imagine the thought of clinging onto Hanzo like a koala during cuddling whenever he thought of being with his boyfriend again. It wasn’t as much annoying as it was distracting, and really the only thing that seemed to help is when he actually hung out with Hanzo. Jesse worried he was what most people classify as “clingy”, but… Well, he was. A little.

 

“Hey, Jesse. How are you today?” Hanzo said, hint of a smile in his eyes still there. They’d both passed the point of comfort where they were both simply happy to see each other, rather than actively conversing for hours on end.

“Hey Han! I’m great, actually, how about you?” Jesse yelled back. He was in the kitchen again, preparing dinner as they talked. Jesse had set a habit for himself to cook for two days at a time, and always cooked while talking with Hanzo, who often sent him recipes over text message so Jesse could experiment a bit. Although he knew Hanzo sent him stuff that was mountains easier to succeed at than what Hanzo can make.

“I’m good too. I was held up at a dinner with my employer, his wife, and the other architect he hired. They kept going on about inclarity in the choices the other guy made, and his inspirations, which were horridly basic, by the way, and honestly? The wife was flirting with him the entire time. It was horrid to sit at that table the entire time. I had to excuse myself to get here to call you.”

“Sounds wild,” Jesse replied as he threw around the ingredients in a large wok, one of the first things he purchased together with Hanzo. “Hope they don’t think you’re rude for just walking out in the middle of the conversation.”

“They were barely even paying attention to me, honestly. I told them it was a personal emergency, and I wasn’t lying. Listen, Jesse, I hope I don’t come across as clingy, but seeing you really is just the highlight of the days here, since I’m on the job almost 24/7. Everyone’s always formal or unknown, so having you as, well, a breath of fresh air in my life is such a welcome change.”

“Hanzo, believe me, same here. You’re still the best part of my days. I hate that you’re so far away, but at least it’s not for too long. I can’t wait till you’re back here, y’know.”

“Neither can I. Today’s Valentine’s day, you know.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I’ve been seeing straight couples everywhere. Don’t make me suffer any more. Even if I’m technically not single, it especially feels like it today.”

“I’ve felt the same all day, Jesse. And I didn’t know whether or not to follow the Valentine’s Day tradition and buy you something.. But mostly because of three reasons. One, I don’t know enough details about you yet to buy the perfect symbolical gift, which I want to do badly. Two, if I got you something now, it would be here with me until I fly back to Boston, and three, there’s so much I want to give you, I can’t waste anything on a ‘typical’ day like Valentine’s.”

 

Jesse had expected the first and second points, having similar reasons to have not bought Hanzo anything, but the third caught him off guard.

The two men had been significant to each other ever since they met, but they’d also been each other’s first partners - at least first in a long time. It wasn’t a bad sign, knowing happily married couples had been some people’s first relationships, but Jesse worried that he’d… He might fuck up. Perform something inexcusable, make too many mistakes, irritate Hanzo long enough that they’d break up.

He’d brought it up once in January as a joke - laughing about the idea that this relationship was doomed to fail simply because Jesse wasn’t “experienced.” Hanzo had forced just a little bit of a fake laugh, then telling Jesse earnestly that he’d try his absolute best to communicate if ever anything bothered him. It helped, a little - Jesse didn’t feel as worried anymore, but still… He figured it would take some falling down and getting up to ensure their bond. They weren’t the perfect couple, no couple really is, but they would grow together. It was a hard fact to accept, but Jesse was very willing to try.

 

Hanzo telling Jesse he wanted to give him so much just reminded Jesse of his worries of imminent failure.

 

“I didn’t get you anything either, babe. I’m sorry. I’ll treat you when you’re back here.”

“Don’t be sorry, Jesse. It’s cliché to give gifts on Valentine’s anyway. I don’t want us to be a material relationship.”

The statement helped. Hanzo wanted to show his love in ways that mean something, in ways that ensure Jesse knows he cares. Because he does. He cares. Jesse keeps forgetting.

 

Great. Now he’s ungrateful.

 

“Hanzo? I just really miss you. I know it’s only been a week, but you need to get back here so I don’t feel so alone.”

“Alright, I’ll be there in twelve hours.” Hanzo joked. “No, but there’s only three weeks left. You really shouldn’t complain, some people have actual long-distance relationships.”

“I know, but your half of the bed still smells like you. It’s not fair.”

“Wait, Jesse, you still haven’t washed the sheets?”

 

**Tuesday, February 17th, 15:30**

Jesse was sat at home, once again doing revision for Vaswani’s class. The space between tuesday and thursday was especially cramped, considering the strangely impressive amount of material she manages to shove into a two-hour lecture, but Jesse had managed to set up a habit of finishing work for wednesday on monday so he had two full days to finish the revision.

The intercom rang and Jesse looked up. He wasn’t expecting company… and that’s really all he could think of. His intercom never rang. Not since Hanzo had left, at least. (Speaking of which, Jesse still needed to get out and have the house keys copied so Hanzo would be able to get back in on his own accord.)

 

Holding down the button to activate the mic and camera, he saw a guy in a UPS outfit, holding a small package. Jesse informed him he’d be downstairs in a minute, quickly threw on shoes and a jacket and rushed down the stairs to receive it. It was relatively light, not much bigger than a thick book,and completely silent.

 

Back in his apartment, he sat back down on his spot on the couch to open it. Inside, he found nothing but two heavily bubble-wrapped items and a note of delivery, informing Jesse that the sender was a certain… H. Shimada. Jesse’s hesitance immediately vanished.

Peeling back the bubble wrap, the two items revealed themselves to be matching… stones. They looked like twin statuettes, both resembling sleek rectangular monoliths . One was a matte black, the other a matte grey. They were the same size, about as long as the width of Jesse’s palm. The only other thing Jesse noted was that they both felt cold.

He couldn’t help but feel confused. Further inspection revealed nothing special about either statuette. Two solid pieces of stone. He figured Hanzo would probably explain what these were.

 

**Jesse:** _I just got your package_

 

It took about an hour before Hanzo replied, something Jesse was used to. Even with Hanzo being busy and the time difference, Hanzo wasn’t always readily available.

 

**Hanzo:** _Great, you can show me on the video chat. Be there in a bit, I’m gonna shower and unwind._

 

Jesse went to make coffee and retrieve one of the “healthy” brownies he’d baked a few days earlier from a recipe Hanzo sent him.

 

Hanzo initiated the video call fifteen minutes earlier than usual, only in sweatpants, going through his closet for a shirt as he addressed his boyfriend.

 

“Hey Jesse, how’s your day been?”

“It’s been good, honestly. Vaswani is now addressing me for answers as well, but at least I know them now. I still wonder how she’d feel about you helping me personally.”

“Well, I’m no longer teaching you, so I think we’re fine. Technically I didn’t even start helping you until weeks after I was done teaching, so… Anyway, you got my package? Did you open it already?”

“I did. So… What are these two little stones?”

“Well… That’s exactly what they are, actually. Just two statuettes. But look.” Hanzo walked out of frame and back into frame, holding the exact same items in his hands. “I got them for myself as well. Jesse, I travel a lot for my job, and there are going to be multiple times we’re gonna be apart for weeks on end. I got these two statues for both of us to remind each other that even if we can’t see each other, can’t talk to each other, we’re still there. I chose something small so you can bring them anywhere.”

Jesse looked back at the two stone sculptures in his left hand, reviewing the idea. He liked them, but wasn’t sure if they were going to be much help.

 

“Also,” Hanzo held up his own two statuettes “I’ll bring these two right here everywhere I go from now on. So whenever you wonder where mine are, they’re here with me.”

“Okay, I’m starting to get it.” Jesse admitted. “But can I request something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Can you, like, sleep with yours next to you so when you get back we can switch ‘em so they, like, have your cologne on them? I feel it would…” Jesse laughed a bit nervously. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I love the thought. I’ll keep mine with me as well.”

Jesse still wasn’t entirely sure what Hanzo’s thought process was with these stone pillars but he loved the idea of a meaningful gift and the thought of being with Hanzo, even if it wasn’t actually him.

 

“That’s... a great idea, actually.” Hanzo chimed in. “I didn’t think of it, but… Maybe we could keep them with us until I return, and then switch so we can have each other’s with us. I know it’s not the greatest gift, but I hope you understand my idea behind it.”

“I do, Hanzo.” Jesse said slowly, looking over the stones again. “It’s strangely… very fitting for you. Don’t know how to describe it... But I just got an idea for a gift for you as well, so… Can you have things delivered to your hotel room?”

“Yes, I think so? But why wouldn’t you just buy me something and keep it in your apartment until I’m back? I think that would work better.”

“It’s something you’ll get to use while you’re there, so I want you to have it now. But I’ll need your hotel address and room number if I’m gonna send something.”

“Alright, I’ll send them over text then. What are you thinking of, then?”

“I’m not telling you, babe. It’ll be a surprise.”

 

**Friday, February 20th, 17:20**

“So, Han” Jesse said without looking up from his revision. Hanzo had offered to cancel the call for the night so Jesse could take a break from school and go out, but Jesse refused for two reasons. First, he was going to get his work done as soon as possible so he could actually have a bit of rest this weekend, a motivation Hanzo was very impressed by, and secondly, at this point Jesse could only really get any work done during their video calls. The chill energy of them hanging out, and the passive help from Hanzo on several topics Jesse doesn’t quite manage to absorb turn the video calls almost into private tutoring lessons. Lucky for Jesse, the tutor was cute.

“I was laying in bed last night, thinking of you, as per usual, of course” Jesse continued, now looking up to give Hanzo a straight-faced smirk, “and I realised that the stones you got us… They’re basically jewellery.”

“How so?” Hanzo replied, more intrigued than confused.

“You bought me an item for me to carry around to remind me of you and keep forever.” Jesse elaborated, having returned to his revision “That’s basically like buying jewellery. I mean, yeah, these stones are actually much cuter than some ring or necklace, and a lot more fitting for you, but you’re really such a hipster sometimes.”

 

“Wow.” Hanzo exclaimed. “You’re right, they are. I mean, these stones are a lot better than a decorative adornment, but in the end they serve the same purpose.”

“Hanzo, Let me tell you this.” Jesse, again, didn’t look up from his book, knowing Hanzo would listen. “These stones are the most ‘you’ thing I have, and they’re great. They’re there when I want you to be, which is what you wanted, and it worked. It’s great.”

“I’m glad, Jesse. Hey, only two more weeks left. Then I’ll be back.”

“Mmm… I can’t wait. Get ready to stay in bed for three days cause I won’t let go of you.”

 

**Monday, February 23rd, 16:00**

Hanzo appeared on screen, lying on his hotel bed as he always was, package at his side. He’d texted Jesse about the delivery he’d been told he had received that day and that he’d wait for the call to open it - Jesse had been counting down the minutes until the call that afternoon, eager to see Hanzo’s reaction.

 

“Hey there” Hanzo smiled again. He looked fresher than regular, which could probably be attributed to the fact Hanzo was sat at home all day. It also allowed for them to call earlier than regular, although Jesse was still gone for most of the day due to school, or else he’d be begging Hanzo to do a 24-hour call. (He’d brought it up before, but Hanzo sadly refused because of the importance of sleeping, even if Jesse offered to watch Hanzo sleep)

“So I’ve got your package here, do you want me to open it?” He added, moving the laptop to the other end of the bed as he pulled the package onto his cross-legged lap.

“Hell yeah I do.” Jesse nearly yelled, noticing his excitement seeming to match itself when Hanzo told Jesse he could move into the latter’s apartment. Significant excitement. “But, like, are you sure it’s mine?”

“Yeah, the package came with a separate note of origin, so since it said it was from an American company, is the first package I’ve received since I was here, and I was expecting one since you told me you wanted to buy me something. So I assume it’s from you.”

“Ah, yeah, that makes sense. But open it! Open it right now, please?”

“Alright, fine” Hanzo laughed. “Let me get some scissors, though, there’s probably a whole roll of tape on this.”

 

More impatient yelling from Jesse aside, five minutes later, Hanzo was sat back on the bed, cutting carefully through the tape holding back the subject of the night.

“There’s… a bubble-wrapped different box inside. I guess they wanted to make sure it was safe.”

“I mean, I’d prefer if it didn’t break.” Jesse laughed nervously. He had put everything else aside, anxiously awaiting Hanzo’s response to the gorgeous camera Jesse had bought him.

 

As Hanzo removed the last of the bubble wrap and took a look at the actual box inside, revealing itself to contain a jet black multi-lens camera. Hanzo carefully examined it as his expression went from “investigation” to “wide-eyed shock” to “childlike excitement”, seeing what Jesse had bought him.

“Jesse-- I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting this, but I’m loving it!” Hanzo spoke calmly, likely unaware his face was glowing with happiness. “Thank you so much! I’ve always wanted one of these.”

 

Hanzo’s excitement glued a smile to Jesse’s face. Seeing his boyfriend this excited over receiving something Jesse felt so confident about buying made him… unbelievably happy? He knew Hanzo would like it, but he never expected this reaction. Months before, this would have been a dream, seeing the older man this excited and this… informal. Again, Jesse deeply appreciated how the two had grown together in such a short time. They were both desperately in need for each other, even if they didn’t know it, and Hanzo emitting this bright light due to Jesse’s gift… It’s exactly what made Jesse realise how gone he was for this guy.

 

“I know you like photography.” Jesse begun to explain. “Even if it’s just a hobby. But I saw your Instagram and your Italy pics, and then realised you dont actually have a professional camera? So I… Got you one. ‘Cause you’re amazing at taking pics but… I think you were just using your phone camera so far?”

“Yes, yes I was.” Hanzo finally begun opening the box, having examined the box more than enough. “I mean, I made sure to always get phones with good cameras, but now I have this!” He carefully unfolded the packaging of the actual camera, first coming across the manual and plastic-wrapped cables, which he simply threw aside. Finally being left with just the styrofoam box containing the camera, he pushed the packaging and everything aside to make a show of unveiling the actual electronic for Jesse.

 

“Wow.”

“It looks gorgeous.” Jesse broke the semi-silence between them. “I mean, it looks just like any other camera, but it’s still gorgeous.”

“Oh, it’s beautiful.” Hanzo said, no longer able to refrain from picking it up and examining it. “I’ll admit it, I’ve done a lot of window shopping for a camera like this over the years and I know how to discern a good one. This? It’s beyond amazing. How’d you pick it?”

“I honestly just looked at reviews and looked up a ton of different sites for information on all types of cameras and… It kind of stood out. I don’t know anything about the attachable lenses, though, so you’ll have to tell me and I can get you those later.”

“Jesse… Be prepared, because I’m going to send you every single picture I take.”

“Ugh, Hanzo, please do. I wanna see London in crisp definition. I wanna see every single raindrop on your window. I wanna see some HD nudes--.”

“Oh my god, Jesse”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. No, but do take selfies, maybe they’ll be so great it’s like you’re actually here.”

“Yes, I’ll send you a life-size picture of myself so you can print it and hang it on a wall.”

“You know I would.”

 

**Friday, February 27th, 23:00**

Standing outside in the rain. Cold, wet, yet refreshed. Jesse was taking a breather from the club whose music was once again thumping on behind him.

 

Hanzo had started to cancel the calls. The building project he’d been hired for was finally starting, so he’d need to be freely available 15 hours a day for his client. Frankly, Jesse had no idea what Hanzo’s job actually was. Hanzo preferred to avoid talking about his work with Jesse, even if he didn’t mind Jesse ranting about his schoolwork. All Hanzo told him about his time in London was how he spent his free time. But Jesse understood Hanzo didn’t want to talk about work, since the only reason he was in London at all was for his work.

 

Regardless, now Jesse didn’t automatically have plans for the evening, leaving him with nothing to do for the first time in ages.

So he’d decided to go out again. On Hanzo’s advice, he avoided Gabe, now also realising that while he wasn’t at all a bad guy, he was unreliable for drinking nights. Jesse still didn’t have anyone else to hang out with, but a girl he’d met in January when visiting an engineering class, Brigitte, had invited him to go out with her and her friends, and still not having other plans now that Hanzo had once again cancelled for the night.

 

And now he was stood outside the club, in the rain. It wasn’t the same club as the one he’d met his substitute teacher as an attractive stranger all that time ago, but with the music playing and the rain hitting him… it was eerily similar.

Jesse pulled out his phone and swiped it open, the screen opening on his text chat with Hanzo, the last few texts only being Hanzo’s apology as well as a few more pictures he’d sent over. Jesse loved every single one of them - Hanzo really did have an eye for the sights he saw. The older man admitted to editing the pictures just a little before he sent them to Jesse to improve the idea he was going for. Jesse approved, the photos were beyond amazing.

 

“Hey, you okay?”, a voice said from beside him.

Jesse quickly looked up to see Brigitte next to him. She looked more sober than he was, staring at him expectantly.

 

“Er, yeah. Just went to get some air.” Jesse replied. “Been a while since I last went out, so I got a little overwhelmed.”

 

It was pretty much what happened. Jesse left out the fact that he was usually a lot drunker at this point of the night, which helped a lot with the regular cons of going out like the crowds and the sensory overload. But now that blur was gone, and it threw Jesse off. He didn’t want to get too drunk though, partially cause he’d learnt from his previous... mistakes, partially because he wanted to make sure he was going to make it home.

 

“Ah, yeah, I get you.” Brigitte replied. “My friend saw you going outside, so I just wanted to see what’s up. But let’s get out of the rain before you get too wet.”

“Haha, yeah.” Jesse laughed. “Hey, I’m gonna be out here for a bit longer, you can go back to your friends.”

“Can I get you a beer, or something, for while you’re out here?” Brigitte offered. Jesse nodded. She nodded back and went back in.

 

Jesse pulled out his phone again to look at the pictures. The first one he came across, he recognised. The view from Hanzo’s hotel window. Raindrops covered the whole window, London evidently caught in its signature weather. The whole window, which was fairly large, was captured in the shot, as well as some of the wall around it, framing the skyline as the sun set over it. Jesse loved it. Maybe he should suggest they frame it? It would look amazing on their bedroom wall.

The next picture was set in an old… building. Jesse wasn’t exactly sure what kind. Hanzo had found a small mirror somewhere in a hallway, and took a picture of himself in it, face tragically hidden behind the relatively large camera. Jesse still loved it. The background of the wall behind the mirror as well as the window behind Hanzo, framing his silhouette in the light streaming through, once again framed the picture perfectly. Hanzo visibly took a minute with every picture, and it paid off.

He couldn’t help but laugh a bit, seeing the next picture. Hanzo had sent him an actual selfie. The picture looked a bit hasted, compared to the previous two, but that was probably to blame on a multi-lens camera not having a front-facing camera. Hanzo looked… Undeniably adorable. He was wearing a black button-up shirt with the navy coat he’d brought for rainy days such as yesterday, but Jesse laughed at the fact that Hanzo had also chosen to wear a see-through rain poncho on top of it all. Hood up over his tied-up hair and glasses absent (likely in favour of contact lenses that day, Hanzo had come prepared), he looked…

 

“Oh, he’s cute.” Brigitte’s voice sounded next to him again, Jesse jumping a bit, not having heard her approach. She held out a beer as she asked: “Who’s he?”

“Ah, yeah, thank you” Jesse smiled as he put away his phone and took the beer. “He’s… a friend, who’s in London at the moment. Explains the rain.”

 

It was the first time he’d really told anyone about Hanzo, even if he disguised him as a friend. It’s not like he never talks to anyone, Jesse had several online friends he passively talked to just about daily, but he never shared his personal life online.

 

“Ah, yeah it does. He single?” Brigitte asked nonchalantly, swigging her own beer.

“Uh...” Jesse stalled to answer, a bit taken aback at her brass question. Was she asking Jesse if she…? “No, he’s not. Sorry.” Jesse smirked, trying to be even just a bit smooth about the situation.

“Ah, well, shame.” She said simply, nearly careless. “I mean, not for me, my girlfriend probs wouldn’t love it if I went after some guy. He’s cute, but not that cute.”

 

And just like that, Jesse was jealous of her. Now she had come out to him in the most casual way possible - something he’d still never done. He’d told Gabe by making out with some guy, and he’d told Hanzo by… doing the same, but to him. Wow. And now she was so laid back about the whole thing. Maybe he should try. She wasn’t straight anyway - she’d probably take it pretty well.

 

“Oh, yeah, I wish he was single.”

 

Well, fuck. It worked as a sentence, and as a way of coming out, even if all smoothness was lost and his voice was a bit too shaky, but imagine if Hanzo had heard it.

 

“Nice, dude.” She nudged her elbow against Jesse’s arm. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure whether or not you were… I heard you hesitate to make that joke in the class we met? About failing to cut a plate of metal ‘straight’? And when you paused before telling me he was a friend, I just had to push a little. And, sorry for doing that. Just haven’t encountered too many gay people here, y’know?”

“Yeah, I do.” Jesse looked down at the wet sidewalk, watching the raindrops splatter in a puddle, before replying: “You’re actually the first I’ve met too. But I don’t meet a lot of people.”

“Ah, cool. So what’s his deal? Straight?” She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms as she leaned against the wall. Her sheer confidence impressed Jesse, but it was comforting in a way. She knew her expression and used it well.

“Hanzo’s?” Jesse asked. “No… he’s not. He’s actually… We’re... boyfrie-- dating. Boyfriends. Yeah.” The sentence failed to come out as… a sentence, but it felt… like a relief. Like it was a weight off of Jesse’s back. Finally referring to Hanzo as his boyfriend - it just… It felt good.

 

“Oh!” She smiled as she moved her head back in surprise. “Nice! Is it, like, long distance…? I feel like I’ve seen him before.”

“No, actually, he’s in London for his job, for another week.” Jesse swigged his beer again. “He taught here for like two months, so that’s when...” He didn’t finish the thought.

“Wait, he taught here?” Brigitte looked more surprised than before. “Is that, like, legal? Dating him?”

“Yeah, we didn’t start dating until after he was done with the teachin’, and he’s only like three years older than me.” Jesse had thought about the facts multiple times, but he never felt as insecure about them as right now. “I think it’s okay?”

“Ah, yeah, that sounds fine. Don’t worry, dude, I’m not judging. He is cute, though. Good job.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Jesse smiled, pulling out his phone again to review Hanzo’s selfie again. “And he’s even better in real life.”

“You’ll have to introduce me, then.” Brigitte raised an eyebrow, thought for a second, and stuck out a hand. “But come, I’ll let you meet my girlfriend first, she’s inside.”

Jesse finished his beer and took her hand, letting her guide him through the crowd. He was in the mood to party again.

 

**Saturday, March 7th, 6:30**

The airport was silent as it had been the first time, as Jesse stood at the rendezvous, sipping his necessary coffee, awaiting Hanzo’s return. The flight had landed about five minutes ago, meaning that combined with the long walk and the bag retrieval area, Hanzo would likely be back in Jesse’s arms in fifteen minutes.

It had been a month since they last saw each other, when Jesse kissed him goodbye before waving Hanzo off as he walked through the small tunnel, entering his plane to London. The taste of the needlessly sweet coconut latte still lingering on Jesse’s lips until he fell asleep in his own apartment again.

 

Today, he’d almost debated buying them both the exact same drinks, reminding them of the last time they’d seen each other, celebrating their reunion rather than Hanzo’s departure. Jesse refrained from doing so, though, instead opting for a regular simple cup of coffee as he actually needed to stay awake.

Hanzo would’ve been up for hours already. He told Jesse he was taking a 5am flight again, but with the time difference, he’d land at 6am. Hanzo would probably be even more exhausted than Jesse. How the man does it, Jesse really had no idea.

 

Pulling out his phone, Jesse opened their text chat again. The last thing Hanzo had sent him, which Jesse received at midnight, laying in bed, was a simple “Taking off soon!”, along with a picture of Heathrow Airport, taken from his window seat. It would have been a nicer picture if Hanzo had used the camera instead of his phone, but he wouldn’t have had the time to send it. Jesse had sent back a “Can’t wait! Have a safe flight”, but the text hadn’t reached Hanzo in time. He’d probably turned his phone off soon after sending Jesse the photo.

Jesse switched over to his text chat with Brigitte. They’d started talking a few days after the night out, and easily got along. Brigitte tended to gush about her girlfriend at times, which Jesse didn’t mind much since the two were great together, but it did make him a bit sad not to have Hanzo. Soon, though, he was going to send her fifteen pictures of the two of them just to compensate for her gay ass.

 

Sipping his coffee, Jesse’s attention was called back at the first person walked around the corner, a tired-looking woman with a rolling suitcase who walked up to a man holding out a “Welcome home, mom!” banner by himself as their young daughter had fallen asleep again. Jesse briefly smiled at the reunion before pulling his attention back to the other people walking around the corner. It wasn’t a large crowd, mostly tired-looking travelers who would likely only be in the US for business for a few days and didn’t have a welcoming group.

Five hasted businessmen later, Hanzo finally rounded the corner as Jesse almost jumped with excitement.

 

The older man looked just as tired as most of his co-travelers, bags under his eyes, jacket rolled up over his arm, rolling a bigger suitcase behind him than most. His fatigue changed to a wide smile as he saw Jesse, who could cry with joy at this moment. Oh- oh wait, he did.

Half-running to the fence behind which Jesse was waiting, Hanzo leaned over and hugged his boyfriend. Jesse immediately took the chance to bury himself in Hanzo’s shoulder, taking in as much of his presence as he needed after a month of absence.

Pulling back, Jesse looked fondly through definitely teary eyes before going in for a short kiss. He hadn’t been entirely sure about PDA, with the crowd of strangers around them, but he couldn’t help himself. Hanzo was the one to elongate the kiss, throwing his one free arm around Jesse’s waist to hold them together for just a few seconds longer.

 

“Well then...” Jesse begun, smiling wide. “Welcome back, babe. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Finally, right?” Hanzo exclaimed. “I hope you don’t have plans for the coming few days, because I’m not leaving you at all.”

“I do have school, y’know. But cling on hard enough and I won’t go.”

“I just might.” Hanzo winked. “Is that coffee, by the way? They gave me a single cup on the plane at the beginning of the flight, which isn’t enough for a six-hour, 6am flight.”

“Unacceptable.” Jesse scoffed, handing over his coffee. “But yeah, here. You need it more than I do. I’m gonna get us a cab and another coffee, and then we can go home. We’ve still got the weekend for now. I want to see all the pictures you took.”

“I sent you half of them already.”

“That’s not all of them, though, is it?”

 

**Saturday, March 7th, 18:20**

Dinner that night was… delivery pizza. They wanted to celebrate Hanzo’s return, but neither of them felt like leaving the house, so they opted for something regular - dinner and a movie night in.

They’d both napped a few more hours after they returned home, embracing almost uncomfortably but not enough not to sleep. The rest of the day, they both embraced their uselessness by lounging around, smooching a bunch, and now ordering a pizza.

Hanzo was laying on the couch, under Jesse’s favourite blanket, carefully working down a first slice as Jesse got them some drinks. He looked adorable, so Jesse secretly snapped a pic of him to send to Brigitte.

 

**Jesse:** _He’s back and I love him_

**Brigitte:** _Aww I hope your condoms aren’t expired_

**Jesse:** _Oh fuck you_

 

“Hey, so remember that girl I told you about? Brigitte?” Jesse asked, setting down their drinks on the coffee table and sliding under the blanket next to his boyfriend.

“That gay girl you went out with the other day?”

“Yeah, that one. She’s offered to hang out with us sometime next week. And her girlfriend as well. I don’t know, I thought it might be nice for both of us to talk to some people who aren’t online, work contacts, or each other.”

“Yes, sounds like a good idea.” Hanzo agreed, pulling Jesse down against him a bit more. “But here, I found a new good series on Netflix while I was in London.”

 

Jesse propped himself up on his elbow to give Hanzo one more kiss for now. Tasted like pizza.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far! It also spans the longest time in one chapter so far, so it makes sense. I would honestly have added even more to this chapter but you'll have to purchase the Gay Fluff DLC for 4,99 to I'm just kidding I just thought the chapter was great as it was.


	14. Summer Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Jesse go on their first trip together to an architecture convention. Jesse's confronted with his insecurities.

**Wednesday, June 10th, 21:45**

Jesse groaned with relief as he put down his suitcase. Hanzo and he had been travelling for most of the day and now that they’d finally reached the Washington hotel, he wanted nothing more than to crash right then and there. The fact that he had been up since 4am with Hanzo’s habit to take early flights didn’t help either.

 

The architecture convention Hanzo was taking him to was the following weekend. Hanzo had offered to go early so they could take a few days to check out the city. Jesse was hesitant at first, not wanting to be gone from home for too long, but then realised it was Hanzo asking him to go on their first “trip” together. Now, a weekend trip seemed way too short. Maybe he should… plan something for them together. For the summer.

 

At this point, the two men were more than comfortable with each other, having lived together for several months. Looking back on it, the first month back in January had been… hard, and awkward, really. Getting used to each other, their preferences, their routines, their disagreements. Jesse had worried far too much that first month. Then, of course, Hanzo had gone off to London for a month, which is when they’d learned to mellow out a bit. Appreciate each other’s company, rather than actively trying to enjoy it.

Of course, they’d had their fights. Or, rather, they were simple disagreements that were never really harmful. Jesse had fought enough with his dad to know when two people truly can’t stand one another… and he just never reached anywhere near that with Hanzo. The man was still thoughtful and empathic as always, but now simply more… passionate about his own beliefs. Admirable, though annoying when they clashed with Jesse’s. But their fights were always resolved, be it through mature conversation or apologies after some steam had been blown off. They both did really want the best for one another. Jesse knew that now.

As Jesse was busy with school, and Hanzo was busy at home and around Boston getting more projects set up with him, the two of them had been forced to get into a cycle of living with one another as they worked.

Hanzo had already cancelled his April project (both to give Jesse moral support through his finals and because it wasn’t one he was too keen on participating in anyway - Jesse got their financial situation set for now), so now he had planned several travels for later in the year, to Jesse’s disappointment of having to spend months apart again. But with Jesse having finished his finals and Hanzo not having much to do until September, the two could finally spend some time together.

 

Early on in May, after Jesse had sulked about Hanzo going away for months at a time, Hanzo had jokingly mentioned the convention (“It’s just a weekend alone, you sure you can handle that?”), not expecting Jesse to jump at the chance to join Hanzo on that trip. Especially since last time he mentioned the convention - which was the day he moved into Jesse’s apartment - Jesse had immediately shot the suggestion down.

But now here they were, in Washington, in a nice hotel, tired, both crashing down on their double bed immediately.

 

“Wow, babe, you look so hot right now”, Jesse murmured, face half-smushed into the pillow, looking at Hanzo who looked… similarly exhausted. “Too bad I didn’t bring any lube. We’re gonna have to go out and get some.”

“Jesse...” Hanzo groaned back, a tone which Jesse now easily recognised as ‘I love you but I’m not putting up with this right now’. “Hey, I’ve still got my airplane bottle of vodka, you look like you could use it.”

“Ugh, yeah, please.” Jesse said, not even making the slightest attempt to get up.

Hanzo did, pulling the bottle out of a side pocket of his carry-on backpack and taking a shot before handing it over to Jesse, who emptied the bottle. True love really is about sharing everything.

“That did help, but only ‘cause I don’t like straight vodka. Now my throat’s all… gross.”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it? But c’mon, let’s go get changed so we can go get in bed for the night. I’m going to take a shower.”

“Hold on, I’ll join you. Do you have the hotel wifi?”

“Yeah, it’s on that little card they gave us.”

Chatter aside, the two spent the rest of the evening, or rather just about another hour before they crashed, freshly showered in bed, both on their phones, and in Jesse’s opinion? It was the best beginning to their first trip he could have asked for.

 

**Saturday, June 13th, 10:30**

Jesse was a little nervous as he and Hanzo got ready for the convention. Hanzo had told him about the number of his friends and colleagues that would be there, partially because Jesse wanted to impress them, partially because he feared Hanzo would ditch him to meet with them and leave Jesse, poor defenseless sophomore-year Jesse, alone in a sea of professionals. But the weekend had arrived, and it was the whole reason they were here in the first place.

The past two days have been… amazing really. Hanzo and he had leisurely walked through the city, Jesse wanting to see all of the sights and Hanzo taking pictures of Jesse with the sights - with the camera Jesse had got him.

 

Thursday, after spending half of the day in bed (Hanzo attempted to leave at times but Jesse kept pulling him down), they went to see the Smithsonian musea, the most tourist-y spot Jesse could think of. Between lunch and dinner, they really only had the time and energy to visit the modern art museum, which was just about the only museum both of them wanted to see anyway.

 

Friday, they went through the Mall to go shopping through several stores for both of them, but more importantly, to buy a proper tailored suit for Jesse, for the convention.

Jesse had had previous experiences with being tailored for expensive suits over the years of being his father’s successor, but now it felt… different. Previously, he had been dropped off at the store, leaving every open suggestion to Jesse, who hated every second of the show, but now Hanzo was right there next to him, giving suggestions and chatting with the tailor, involving Jesse and helping him rather than… Asking him.

At one point, when Jesse was getting a little overwhelmed with the posing and the touching and the questions, like he had every time before, Hanzo walked over to his side so Jesse could see him rather than his reflection in the mirror, squeezed his arm and softly asked if everything was alright. Jesse couldn’t do much more than smile and nod, feeling a wave of relief knowing he was in good hands, even if the overwhelming feeling was still there. From there on, Hanzo made sure to stay in front of Jesse to help calm him down. They had a long night that night.

 

Jesse paid extra to get the suit finished quickly and delivered the next day to the hotel, where Hanzo had helped him try it on. It looked… fitting. It felt fitting. Hanzo had also already put on his own suit, a simple all-black look without a tie. Jesse looked in the large mirror on their hotel room wall as Hanzo stood behind him, focused on Jesse’s back, and felt like they looked like a couple. They looked good together. Both of them in suits, next to each other. A nice look into their future, if it went Jesse’s way. But that’s another process entirely - some other time.

 

“You look absolutely gorgeous, Jesse.” Hanzo spoke up, now looking over Jesse’s shoulder into the mirror. Jesse stepped aside to show Hanzo’s full look as well, and to show them, side by side.

“Babe…So do you. You look hot, honestly. We both do.”

“I have to say I agree.” Hanzo smirked, and gave Jesse a quick kiss. “So I’ve called a cab to pick us up in ten minutes, and it’ll take us right to the convention.”

“Hey, Han? I don’t feel great, to be honest. I’ve told you I’m nervous but now that it’s getting down to it...”

“Hey, Jesse,” Hanzo grabbed Jesse’s hand. “I promise you it’ll be fine. I won’t make you talk to anybody if I think they’ll judge you. Or us. And I won’t leave you alone. You’re fine to pull me aside if you need to talk.”

“Thanks, Han.” Jesse ran his thumb over Hanzo’s knuckles. “I’ll mostly be checking out the food, though.”

“If it works for you. Now c’mon, I still have to fix your hair before the cab gets here.”

“Oh, please do, I can never get it right when I have to.”

 

**Saturday, June 13th, 11:20**

The two men walked through the rotating doors into the large open hallway. It wasn’t quite as big as Jesse was expecting, but still fairly large.

The location was clearly… chosen to look expensive. A large, multi-floor height room with windows covering the entirety of one wall and part of the ceiling, bathing everyone in a pleasant sunlight. People crowded the floor, all in uncreative outfits ranging from business-formal to casual-formal. At least Jesse would look the part.

Hanzo had forewarned him about the type of people that they’d encounter that day. Of course, architecture, especially modern design, is still considered very artsy, and with artsiness comes opinions. Jesse had promised the older man to just nod and smile and agree with everyone, and then make sure not to talk to anyone twice. Hanzo agreed, telling Jesse he had the right mindset for an event like this.

 

Having accompanied his father to several transparent ... “niceness” events like these, Jesse put up his regular faux smile, stood up a bit straighter, and prepared himself for endless handshakes and small talk. Shooting a quick glance over to Hanzo, he noticed his attitude having changed a bit as well, awfully similar to last October when he first walked into Jesse’s lecture hall, albeit a bit more confident. Hanzo was scanning the room, probably looking for someone to make their way towards. Or the refreshments. Who knows.

Jesse felt a hand on his lower back push him forward a bit, and felt it disappear as they walked. He decided to stay behind Hanzo a bit just to be sure he knew where they were going, although they really could lose each other in this ocean of suits. He really wanted to be able to keep hold of Hanzo, but for multiple reasons, now was not the time.

 

A minute or two of waving their way through the crowd, Hanzo finally stopped near a small circle of people who recognised him and seemed happy to see him. They were all fairly young, so Jesse figured they must be Hanzo’s more… unprofessional contacts. The sight was comforting, though.

 

“Shimada!”, one of the girls, or, women, yelled, only barely louder than the crowd around them, and hugged Hanzo, careful not to knock her morning mimosa out of her hand. “Was wondering when you were going to show up. How are you?”

“I’m good!” Hanzo smiled back. Jesse was intrigued to see Hanzo interact with someone as though they’d been friends for ages. Most of his friends in Boston were fairly new, and Hanzo only ever called with people he already knew every other month. Seeing him here, now, acting so immediately casual with someone, was a refreshing new sight.

“Is Will here?” Hanzo asked, glancing around to look at the five or so people standing with them.

“Well, yeah, he said he was coming”, the girl replied. “He hasn’t shown up yet, though. Maybe later, he was never a morning person, was he?”

Hanzo smiled and cocked his head a little playfully. Another interesting sight, especially since Jesse expected him to just be stiff for most of the day.

“Anyway”, the girl looked over to Jesse and stuck out a hand, smile almost knowing. “Who’s this you brought?”

“Hi, I’m Jesse McCree.” Jesse gave a curt smile and shook her hand. The girl’s eyes went wide as she heard his name, and her smile grew even wider as she looked over at Hanzo, then at the people standing by, then back at Jesse.

“Ah! Well, I’m India. Nice to finally meet you, Jesse.” India grinned. “Hanzo’s told us all about you.” She looked back at Hanzo “So this is him, huh?”

“Wait, you guys already knew about me?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, man”, one of the others replied. “He’s been talking about you in our group chat for… months, now?” He looked at the others for approval. They nodded and smirked, but as Jesse looked back to Hanzo, the older man was blushing.

“Don’t worry, it’s all been good”, a third person added. “Happy to finally meet you, man.”

“Good to meet you all too!” Jesse replied, finally shaking everyone else’s hands. “So you’re that group chat he’s always talking in, are you?”

“Well, honestly, Hanzo never replies.” India added, nudging Hanzo with her elbow. “The past few months he’s really only sent anything when the conversation concerned him, or when you did something sweet. We’ve heard all of it.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Hanzo said defensively, still blushing.

“Yes it is. But don’t worry, Jesse,” one of the others chimed in, “We’re happy to see him settled. You sound like a great guy.”

 

Hanzo continued to introduce Jesse to everyone in the group and continued conversing until he eventually pulled Jesse to the side.

 

“So, Jesse” He begun. “I’m still going to use the convention today to talk to some... potential employers, so if you want, you can stay with me and small talk, but you can also stay with my friends, if you’d prefer. Or both. Either way, I won’t mind.”

“Thanks, Hanzo.” Jesse reached out his hand to quickly squeeze Hanzo’s. “I’ll actually go with you for now. Should I pretend to be your business partner or…?”

“I thought I could introduce you as my partner, actually.” Hanzo replied. “To the people that aren’t going to make a problem of it, of course. Just don’t act too casual and they’ll respect you.”

“Alright, no problem”, Jesse said, already re-straightening his jacket. “What about the homophobic ones?”

“Chances are, they won’t even bother to ask who you are. If they ask, I can tell them you’re an associate, yes. They won’t care about you, but believe me, they don’t care about me either.”

“You sound like you’ve figured it out. Let’s go. Who’s up first?”

“That old guy, Mr. Lindholm. He’s a little old-fashioned, but he’s very supportive of his out daughter, so he shouldn’t be too bad. C’mon.”

“Wait, Lindholm?” Jesse pulled Hanzo back quickly before he walked off. “Could that be...”

“What is it?”

“Brigitte? Lindholm?”

“Wait, no, really?”

 

**Saturday, June 13th, 13:45**

As Hanzo pleasantly conversed with yet another prominent person, Jesse addressed him to quickly and quietly explain he was going back to the group they met up with earlier. Hanzo smiled, nodded, and watched Jesse for a second after the latter walked off before turning back to the people in front of him.

It was frankly surprising how many people seemed to know Hanzo, sometimes Jesse wished Hanzo didn’t separate his private and professional life as much, Jesse loved seeing Hanzo being this well-respected. Although, Jesse had seen his work, and he, too, loved it, so it wasn’t too surprising.

The group of Hanzo’s friends were at the other side of the hall, so Jesse figured he should drop by the refreshments for a second.

The assortment was… not quite that varied. A few bite-sized sandwiches, some unrecognisable horse d’oeuvres featuring salmon, but most importantly, red and white wines, which did look fairly expensive. Not his favourite, but still doable.

Plucking a glass of white off the table, he turned to be met with the gaze of a woman he’d seen plenty of lately, and still wasn’t happy to see.

 

Satya Vaswani.

 

And she looked equally surprised to see him, and not in a good way either. There was a certain sort of calculating look in her eye, almost as if she was figuring out exactly how to address him.

 

“...Mr. McCree!” Vaswani spoke up, tone not unpleasant but clearly simply trying to stay formal for the occasion.

“Mrs. Vaswani.” Jesse gave his courtesy smile and nod, and looked for a way to escape, knowing it probably wasn’t much of an option.

The two had formed the tiniest bit of an mutual respect in classes so far, after Jesse’s 180-degree turn in interest - which was due to Hanzo regardless. There was a surprising bit of agreement from Vaswani’s side too, although she wasn’t exactly hiding her constant remaining annoyance towards Jesse, simply because he was… less experienced.

 

“I’m surprised to see anyone this… young… here!” She continued, still smiling pleasantly. Jesse knew fully well what she meant by it. “I’m intrigued to hear why you’re here.”

“I’m accompanying Han-- er, Mr. Shimada, actually. You know him.”

“Oh?” Vaswani replied, taking a sip of her wine, expecting a story.

“Yeah.” Jesse stretched out the word a bit, trying to quickly throw said story together. He’d half-prepared one anyway. “He said this convention was the place to be for… aspiring architects, and since he knew how invested I was, invited me along. It’s been great.”

“Ah.” Vaswani acknowledged the story, eyes squinting just a bit. Jesse wasn’t really sure what that meant for her. He took a sip of his wine as well, trying to think of conversation fodder.

 

“McCree...” She begun, a little uncomfortably. “Are you two dating?”

 

How---

Choking on his wine, an absolutely awful experience, Jesse looked back at Vaswani with wide eyes. Wait-- How did she find that out that quickly? Has she known for longer? How long? Are they that obvious about it? Vaswani wasn’t a judgmental person… on that front, at least, but Jesse did feel a little… marginalised.

He couldn’t do much except give Vaswani a confused look.

 

“Now I’m not at all saying that that’s… I’m just… curious.”

Well… Apart from the fact that Vaswani honestly didn’t care about either of them, Jesse couldn’t see much of a reason to not tell her. If anything, rather than thinking badly of it, she would just not think about it at all.

 

“Yeah… Yes, we are. For a few months now.”

“For how long, exactly?”

Ah, there it was. She’s trying to see if Jesse’s education could still be considered fair if Hanzo was there all along.

“It’s been since January.” It was a bit of a lie, but he had to make it immediately clear to her that their previous dynamic was not involved. “Yeah, I asked him out a few weeks earlier, and it grew. It’s been great.”

“Good, I’m glad.” She polite-smiled. “I hope he’s not the only reason you’re doing well in class.”

There she went again, almost smugly sipping her wine as she looked off elsewhere.

 

“No, actually, I just re-found my motivation. He’s done some minor tutoring, but I can assure you he’s been very professional about it. He really doesn’t have the time to help me with my homework.”

“Good. You know, I’m still surprised to hear it, honestly. I never imagined you as Hanzo’s type.”

“His type? What do you mean?”

“Well… I mean, I knew he was attracted to men, but I assumed he’d prefer ones that were… more on his level.”

Jeez, this woman had no off button.

 

“Ah! Well.” Jesse didn’t know what to say. He knew Hanzo was… A lot more… mature, maybe, more formal in his self. Jesse wondered for months if Hanzo thought little of him due to his casual nature, but… nah, it couldn’t be. Not with how much Hanzo’s grown to accommodate Jesse, how much he’s grown to enjoy things, and, in turn, how much Jesse has grown to be more focused and motivated to succeed. Jesse could at least confidently say they’ve both… reached each other.

“Hanzo is definitely a professional, but…” Jesse couldn’t really tell Vaswani, who already thought so little of Hanzo, that he’d grown to be more laid back. “He’s helped me a lot, y’know. Don’t underestimate my own talents.”

A bit rude to his own professor, but it was the summer, he couldn’t find himself to care.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I was on my way to some other people Hanzo told me were great influencers.”

“Alright, McCree.” She raised her glass, hauntingly familiar fake smile trying its best to seem polite. “Have a good day.”

“Thank you, you too.”

Jesse raised his glass and nodded, then quickly walked away to wave his way through the crowd.

 

The small group of Hanzo’s friends they’d met up with earlier was still there, not really having moved from their spots

“Hey guys!” Jesse spoke up, as most of them smiled to see him back again. He realised all the other guys were holding unrecognisable tumblers while he continued sipping his wine. A statement, really. “Hanzo’s still out there talking, but I figured I should see what you guys are up to.”

“Ah, Jesse.” India said. “This is Will, Will, this is Jesse.”

“You mean--” Will begun, shaking Jesse’s hand.

“Yup, he’s the one Hanzo’s constantly talking about.” India continued. “I would have told you he was here if you weren’t always so late.” She playfully punched Will in the arm.

“Well, nice to meet you, man”, Will said. “What’s it like dating your professor, huh?”

“Ex-professor”, India corrected him. Jesse would have anyway. “Yeah, he worried a bunch about dating a student, but none of us ever thought of it like that, I don’t think.”

“Well yeah”, Jesse replied, “We’re maybe three years apart anyway, and we technically didn’t start dating until after he was done… But how long has he been talking about me anyway?”

“Curious, huh?” India smirked, adding a wink shortly after. “Well, he started talking about you just being this student he was giving extra attention, but he didn’t really mention the ‘being interested in you’ part until after he told us you were dating.”

So Hanzo didn’t tell these guys either… But it makes sense. He was already stressed about it, probably, and he does have a tendency for keeping everyone at an arm’s length. Even if this is a group of his friends, it’s understandable.

 

“Honestly, dude” Will chimed in, ”He started acting pretty weird like halfway through November, talking a lot about if he’d changed lately, and that the teaching thing was getting really annoying, but none of us ever really knew what was going on until he told us about you.”

“He did change a bit though, and we speculated that was your doing.” India added.

“How do you mean?” Jesse asked.

“He… Well, he always had this tendency to keep everyone a few feet away, but the past few months he’s just been so happy. Gushing about you a lot. Like that time you got him the camera? I don’t think I’ve ever read a more interesting essay.”

“Yeah”, Will continued. “He was always the weirdly distant one but now he’s almost normal.” A hit from India’s elbow made him laugh. “We mean, he just talks a lot more now. Still very Hanzo though.”

“Very much still Hanzo.” India agreed. “Professional, formal, comes in at the weirdest time with his jokes...”

“An undeniable stud...” Will added, nonchalantly matching India’s tone. She gave him a full dirty look, making Jesse laugh. They were a breath of much needed fresh air in the room full of adults trying to pretend to enjoy each other’s company.

“Yeah, I flirted with him for a while.” India admitted. “Until he came out to us, of course.”

“Hey, you’re not wrong. He’s a stud. It definitely adds to the whole sum.” Jesse joked. “But enough about me and Hanzo, really. I could talk about him for hours, but he’s already done that, so... how long have you guys known each other?”

 

 

**Saturday, June 13th, 20:45**

Hanzo finally laid back down on their hotel bed next to Jesse in his provided robe. They’d arrived home a few minutes earlier, stripped down, showered, and relaxed. It had been a long, long day and both of them were bone tired.

“Ah, it feels good to be on my ass again.” Jesse groaned in relief. “My legs were burning up.”

“Agreed.” Hanzo sighed. “God...”

 

Neither of them had much left to say, which wasn’t surprising as they’d both talked for hours and hours with an endless sea of strangers. To Jesse at least. For him, it had been even easier, only really having to introduce himself and make pure small talk while Hanzo did the real work keeping a conversation going while Jesse barely had to chime in. Still, he was absolutely drained.

 

“We still haven’t had dinner.” Hanzo said. “I’ll just call room service. Want something?”

“Surprise me.” Jesse answered, rubbing his eyes. He couldn’t be bothered.  
A phone call and twenty minutes later, surprisingly quick to Jesse, two cloches with their dinner arrived at their door. They really did have a luxe life like this. Jesse felt lazy.

“So I did run into Vaswani today.” Jesse said after his first bite. The two of them were sat on their hotel beds, casually eating, like the world’s laziest traveller couple.

“Oh, yeah, I saw her too. We talked for… maybe… two minutes. Not even the shortest conversation I’ve had with her. She drains me.” Hanzo took a full bite, chewed, and swallowed, before continuing. “She knew about us?”

“Yeah, I kinda told her? But she guessed first. Out of nowhere.”

“Ah, ‘kay. No problem. She’s a little standoffish but not a bad person. She’s not one to spread rumours.”

“She really seems to be able to poke people though. She basically told me she thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s her way of small talk. She takes her critiques and makes it casual like it’s the weather. I’m surprised she even thinks she knows enough about me to think she knows what’s right for me. Or you, really.”

“Yeah… you’re right. She doesn’t.”

 

The two of them ate in silence for a while. Jesse was a bit relieved to see Hanzo so nonplussed about the casual snide comment Vaswani had made. It’d been gnawing at Jesse for a while now, simply thinking about how people might think Jesse’s… unprofessional. Uneducated. He does study architecture, after all, but is nowhere near as educated as most people were there. Ever since he strayed from the path of simply inheriting a gigantic company, he’d felt that he couldn’t make it on his own. Hearing Hanzo’s apathy towards Vaswani’s comments… it helped. It showed Hanzo cared. He was lucky to have met him.

 

“Hanzo?”

“Yes, Jesse?”

“Would we still have dated if I had no interest in architecture?”

“Jesse...” Hanzo begun. The tone was recognisable - Jesse often got insecure and Hanzo, the babe, always did try to ensure that he truly cared, because he did. Jesse knew that, seeing it in little gestures, bigger gestures, nearly unrecognisable habits at this point, but still… Doubt is an invasive parasite.

Hanzo took his hand and looked him in the eye, setting himself up for a statement of genuine care.

“You had no interest in architecture when we met and look where we are.”

Jesse laughed. “Alright, alright. But back then I only took an interest because you were so hot. If I hadn’t cared at all, you might not have cared at all for me.”

 

“Alright, Jesse, listen. I became interested in you as a student when you went from apathetic to motivated as I was there. I became interested in you romantically as you became a friend of mine, and we bonded, and you showed you cared about me. Even if that came from you out of physical attraction, I think it shows that our shared interest, which you’ve genuinely become interested in, I can tell, is just a common thing. If anything, it just helped us. I don’t think it’s a cause, it’s a coincidence.”

 

“So you’re saying the cause of us dating is… you being hot?” Jesse asked.

“Sure, if that sounds better for you. It’s not implausible.”

“It does. If you’re wondering, even after all this time, I still think you’re a hot piece of ass”

“Jesse, if you’re trying to start something, after today, my body will actually give out in, like, ten minutes. Sorry.”

“No problem. So will mine.” Jesse answered casually. He was only a little disappointed.

“But yes, your interest in architecture wasn’t really what made me interested. There’s much more to you, Jesse. More that I love.”

“Thanks, babe. Love you too.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random? Yes. Rushed? Maybe. Gay? Hell yeah.
> 
> I promise you I like Symmetra, but I set her up as an annoying person early on so I just kept it going.
> 
> This chapter isafter chapter 9 probably the most filler of them all, but it still has some cool gay shit so heya here it is, hope you enjoy it <3


	15. Sweetly, the End.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse plans a surprise for Hanzo - and they both enjoy it a lot.

**Monday, June 22nd, 18:50**

It was during their dinner at home that Jesse brought it up for the first time.

 

“So Han… Have you ever been to Paris?”

 

Hanzo looked up from his phone with a surprised look. He’d just gone to check a text he’d received, which Jesse thought was suddenly the perfect moment to bring it up. He asked about Hanzo’s travels more, and Hanzo definitely told him about his travels even if Jesse didn’t ask, so the question shouldn’t be too odd... right?

 

“Yes? Yes, I have. Few years back, for a project when I was still getting started. Why?”

“No reason.” Jesse lied. “You might remember my life’s ambition to escape to France someday, so I was just wondering about your experiences.”

“Ah, okay, yeah.” Hanzo replied. “I wasn’t there long, not for much more than a weekend. Didn’t really get to see a lot of the sights. A shame, really, but I never got the chance to go back there. Maybe we should go sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe we should.” Jesse smiled, panicking. This wasn’t tactful. Hanzo immediately figured it out? “When I’m not absolutely swamped with summer schoolwork. You know how that goes.”

“You still haven’t even started on that, Jesse. If you want my help, you can just ask, y’know.”

“I know, babe, but you’re busy yourself, aren’t you? How’s the Italy project coming along?”

 

Maybe it was a bit obvious of a distraction, but Jesse was an okay actor. Hanzo didn’t seem to think too much more of his earlier question. He’d been exceptionally excited about the Italy project that would last from August through September, so Jesse made a smart move in pushing the conversation that way. He’d gotten the assignment shortly after the convention and he hadn’t stopped talking about it since.

 

“Coming along great, actually!” Hanzo smiled, almost excited again. Jesse loved seeing it. “The woman who hired me loved my first draft, and gave me some more influences to play around with. She said she might even want me to come over earlier to discuss it all at length in person.”

“So you’ll be gone even longer? How dare you.” Jesse feigned offense, laughing after. “No, Han, that’s actually great to hear.”

“It really is, though. I’m honestly excited to go back there. Remember those pictures?” Hanzo pointed at the set of photos of streets and landscapes he brought with him when moving into Jesse’s apartment. “The project is only about 20 miles from where I took those pictures.”

“Cool!” Jesse replied, distracted as he was thinking. “Maybe you should take me with you on this one?”

“No, Jesse, school will have started for you by then. But at least not having me around might keep you focused on schoolwork?”

“Hilarious, babe. Why can’t I just run away with you?”

“Because your dad will find out, and he’ll stop paying for your scholarship, and then you’ll be in debt.”

 

**Thursday, July 2nd, 9:30**

Jesse gently nudged Hanzo awake. For the fact that it was summer and neither of them really ever had a schedule, this was still fairly early for both of them. But Jesse had been awake for two hours already. He had a surprise in store.

Hanzo’s eyes blinked a few times and then forced themselves open just a little.

“What is it?” He replied, voice soft and thick.

“I made ya breakfast. It’s ready in the living room. Come on, get out of bed.”

“Just a sec, ok?”

“Okay. I’m coming back in five minutes to make sure you haven’t gone back to sleep.”

 

It was mostly a joke, Jesse knew Hanzo wasn’t one to snooze much. He returned to the living room to look at the display he’d stalled out on the coffee table, since their tiny dining table lacked the necessary room.

The crêpes had taken him the longest. He’d only attempted to make pancakes a few times before, and these were much harder regardless. But he had been up for two hours specially for these, and while they took ages, he had finally managed to create a few very nice looking stack.

The grocery run right after he finished them was fairly simple - just a few croissants, pain au chocolats, and a batch of various fruits - galia melon, watermelon, pineapple, pears, and grapes. A simple mix he knew would taste well together. All he had to do when he arrived back home was slice them into bite-sized pieces and serve in a glass bowl.

In the middle of the table was a large bouquet of various summer flowers, mostly reds and yellows. Jesse frankly had no idea what any of them were named, since he just picked the ones he wanted and let the florist arrange them, but he was happy to see the flowers have the effect he wanted - it looked gorgeous.

The rest of the table was mostly drinks, though Jesse did make sure to pick a variety of choices, from coffee to fruit juice to even a few mimosas. Whatever Hanzo was interested in.

And, of course, lastly, the little surprise laying plainly on the table. Jesse considered hiding it in the stack of crêpes, but that would just be gross. Hmm. Better to just keep hold of it.

 

As Jesse turned on the soft acoustic playlist they both loved, the bedroom door opened and the older man stumbled out, still looking a bit sleep-disheveled. Also shirtless, that was very much a thing. Hanzo loved the feeling of soft sleeping clothes, but ever since he took his shirt off for a very humid summer night, Jesse’s been asking him to continue that.

 

“Well then,” Hanzo smiled as he saw the coffee table while rubbing sleep out of his eye. “What’s all this about?”

“Thought I’d surprise you sometime.” Jesse answered nonchalantly. “I deserve to treat you, don’t I?”

“Sure, but you know my birthday isn’t for another... few weeks, right?” Hanzo kept smiling. “This is sweet though. Hold on, I’m gonna freshen up a little and put on a shirt.

“Do you really have to? I’m not complaining.”

“Jesse...”

 

Ten minutes later, Hanzo finally sat down on the living room couch in a shirt and different lounging pants, grabbed the plate standing in front of him on the table, and looked at Jesse who just put away his phone.

“So what have you got here for me? Why all this?”

“Just wanted to treat you, really. It’s been a while since we really did something together, so why not? Plus, I made those crêpes myself. It’s broadening my view on the world.”

“If you say so.” Hanzo said, already moving to the edge of the couch to pick up a croissant and some of the mixed fruits. “This looks really good, though. I appreciate you didn’t put in any apples” He laughed. Jesse smiled back, also leaning over to grab himself a pain au chocolat. “And I assume you didn’t bake these croissants yourself?”

“Nah, I looked up how to make them and it looked beyond impossible. And that store-bought dough never comes out right. Aren’t you having a crêpe?”

“Not yet.” Hanzo replied. “If I start off with that, I’ll immediately be full. I’ll have one in a bit.”

 

The two men both took a bite of their respective rolls, which Jesse noted to still be warm. They were freshly baked when he’d bought them, and it was noticed. As the chocolate, still warm, swirled through his mouth, Jesse got the indescribable urge to go to Paris and have a real fresh one. Coincidence.

 

“Ooh, this is good. Is the chocolatine warm also?” Hanzo asked. Jesse nodded, and Hanzo quickly reached over to grab one off the table as well. “In France, bakeries often serve these warm, so this is almost like being there. We really need to go there sometime, Jesse.”

 

Was now a good time? Probably? Jesse had hoped for Hanzo to have a crêpe first, but this seemed like a great moment and he didn’t want to pass it up.

 

“Well good thing then...” Jesse stalled as he held his plate with one arm and fumbled behind the cushion he was sitting against, reaching desperately for the - ah. “Good thing then that I got us these!” He stuck his hand out to Hanzo, holding two plane tickets - to Paris, of course.

“Wait, what are--” Hanzo grabbed the tickets out of Jesse’s hand, set down his plate, looked them over, and the series of expressions on his face was nearly identical to when he unboxed the camera Jesse had bought him. “Paris? Really? Are we--?” He beamed. He absolutely beamed. Jesse found it hard not to copy him.

“Yes we are! I got the idea a few weeks ago. Do you like it?”

“I do!” Hanzo looked over the tickets, almost inspecting them. “What did-- How did-- Jesse, you realise these are one-way tickets, right? You should’ve gotten round trip.”

“Oh, right, about that.” Jesse took another bite of his chocolatine, as Hanzo had called it, set his plate down, and walked over to the closet to the left of the TV, opened it, and pulled out four more plane tickets.

“I got more for us than just Paris. Those tickets are for the 17th, then I’ve got these tickets for the 21st as well.”

 

He handed the tickets over to Hanzo, who looked over them, his mildly concerned expression turning yet again into a huge smile. Jesse… was beyond himself. He lived to see Hanzo this happy, and it was so worth it.

 

“Rome?” Hanzo asked.

 

“Yup, Rome.” Jesse confirmed. “From the 21st till the 26th. Should be enough time to enjoy ourselves, right?”

“Of-- Of course! But then the 22nd-”

“Yup, we’ll be celebrating your birthday in Rome. I’m gonna need your help on planning some things like the best restaurant, and what you want to do while we’re there and--”

“Jesse… Come here.”

 

Hanzo had both of his arms outstretched, still half-laying on the couch, but obviously gesturing for Jesse to come to him. Jesse obliged, almost diving into Hanzo’s arms for a hug. A tight one. As he pulled back, Hanzo gave him a quick kiss, smiling sentimentally.

 

“You’re amazing, Jesse. Thank you so much.”

“No need to thank me, babe. This is honestly just as exciting for me, since I’ve been wanting to go on a trip with you since forever. Not just a convention weekend in Washington, a full trip for the two of us. Just us.”

“I love it.” Hanzo said, to Jesse’s relief. “But what about the thing we’ve been planning for my birthday?” Hanzo asked. “Should we just cancel that, then?”

“Actually... ” Jesse admitted. “After I got the idea for this trip, I asked everyone to just move it up a week. They agreed, but the risky part was if you’d even like it at all. Spending a birthday just with me.”

“Oh… No, I do. I love it. I’m happy to spend a birthday with the guy I love in a city I love. Don’t worry.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Jesse sighed a breath of relief. “Now go eat your chocolatine, even if it’s less warm now.”

“Were you just trying to get me in the mood for Paris with this breakfast?”

“Well… yeah. I mean, I was moderately sure you’d like the Rome idea, I just wasn’t sure about Paris. At first I debated just spending a week in Rome, but if we’re already shaving one week off of the project prep time, I figured we might as well do more in that week. And yes… I did choose Paris mostly for me, but I figured you’d like the idea too. It’s still a beautiful city.”

 

Hanzo did bend over to grab a crêpe now, dotting it with whipped cream and also adding some of the mixed fruits.

 

“Paris is a great idea, Jesse. I told you I did want to go there aga-- Wait, did you ask about Paris a week ago because of this? Did we watch Ratatouille that few nights ago for this?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re unbelievable. I would’ve loved Paris without the coaxing, trust me.” Hanzo laughed as he took the first bite of his crepe. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, but this crêpe just isn’t right.”

Jesse couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the crude statement that immediately followed such loving words. It did help diffuse the situation a little.

“Yeah, I worried about that. But hey, in a few weeks we can have one in real life.”

 

**Friday, July 17th, 05:23**

Jesse yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He was incredibly excited for this trip, but it didn’t take away from the fact that it was still so early. The airport was almost familiarly quiet, as if it was him waving at Hanzo to see him disappear for another whole month. But it wasn’t. This was much better.

He had chosen for an early flight so they’d have some time to go out for the evening and maybe sleep at a decent time. After a seven hour flight, combined with the six hour time difference, they’d probably arrive at their hotel at around 20:00, so they’d still be able to get out and get a drink. He did understand the use of early flights a bit better now. Even if he would much rather be asleep.

 

Speaking of which, the weight of his boyfriend’s head on his shoulder had turned a little heavier and was silently breathing a bit heavier. A sound Jesse recognised - Hanzo had fallen asleep.

 

Gently nudging his arm, Jesse woke him up with a soft voice.

“Hey Han. Want some coffee?”

“That’d be great.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back. Try to stay awake, okay?”

 

Standing up and walking off to get themselves a fully regular cup of black coffee, Jesse laughed a bit to himself. He’d almost had trouble sleeping the previous night because, well, partially the fact Hanzo suggested they should sleep a little early, but also because Jesse was unbelievably excited about going on their first trip together. It’d only been a good ten months that they’d even known each other but for Jesse it was the best ten months of his life. So far.

He still worried about the idea of their relationship ending due to both of them not really being too experienced, as well as the idea that Hanzo’s more sophisticated than him, but he did recently start finding ways to reassure himself. It’d been half a year already, and they still never really got tired of each other. They bickered, but almost always just loved. They’d only been sexually active for a month or two, but they were both ready when they started. Hanzo had surprised Jesse in many ways, none of them ever bad. It was... surreal, but grounding as well. Jesse knew he would love to spend the rest of his life with this guy. He just needed some support in believing that the feeling was mutual.

 

Returning with the coffee, he was happy to see Hanzo still awake. Granted, he seemed to be on the brink of sleep, but at least their carry-on bags weren’t stolen.

“Here’s your cup”

“Ah, thanks.” “Why didn’t we have any at home? Oh, right, because someone apparently required us to make out until we almost missed check-in.”

“Hey, you didn’t stop me. Obviously you weren’t complaining. I mean, I know you weren’t.”  
“Oh shut up.” Hanzo laughed, and took another sip. “You’re really excited for this, aren’t you?”

“Does it show?” Jesse asked a little reluctantly, still trying to come off as joking.

“Yeah, a little. Don’t worry, I’m excited too, I’m just too tired to really show it. Travelling itself isn’t that exciting to me, y’know?”

“Right, yeah. I’m sorry if I seem over-excited. I just wanna be in Paris and Rome with you, y’know. And other places too, but later on.”

“I get it. But I also wanna sleep. And you know how much I value my sleep when travelling.”

“It’s a seven-hour flight, Han. You can nap on my shoulder all you want.”

 

**Friday, July 17th, ??:??**

Jesse had no idea what time it was, considering he hadn’t pulled out his phone or laptop since the plane took off, opting for a book he’d been meaning to read instead, and it had been a few hours and he didn't have a cluue what timezone they were in. But Hanzo was steadily napping beside him, having fallen asleep after powering through the first few hours. Again, they didn’t offer enough drinks on planes to keep this man awake.

Jesse looked out through the window seat he’d assigned himself. Nothing but the clouds. Steadily drifting below him. The summer sun was shining bright.

He thought of the few times in his life he’d been on a plane. Business trips with his father, every single time. Well, except for their recent trip to Washington, and the time before that where he flew from Santa Fe to Boston, finally away from home.

Every single time he’d been on a plane with his dad, it’d either been a private jet or business class. This was almost refreshing.

As a kid, he thought planes were awesome, but as he grew up and finally travelled with his father, the trips became almost dreadful. As he became a teenager and found out about the less amazing parts of the family oil empire, he’d honestly grown to despise his dad, even if he was still mostly financially dependant on him, which was mostly because of the American economy where Jesse probably wouldn’t make it on his own yet.

 

He and Hanzo had discussed what Jesse should do with the surplus of money that he received from his father every month. Jesse knew it was basically pocket change for his dad, so thus far he’d simply put the money on a savings account, maybe being able to open up his own company later on in life. Then Hanzo suggested giving money to charity, which Jesse really liked, knowing his dad would hate it. After searching for a while, they’d settled on a cancer research charity to donate the bulk of the unneeded money to, keeping a little for personal safety.

The apartment they lived in was already fully paid off by his dad and technically given to Jesse, which was still a weird thought, but Jesse figured he should just be grateful for it, knowing it was at least in good hands with the two of them, and it could be a good home base for several more years, being located near MIT and Boston itself. After this, he could... Join Hanzo in the architecture world, and they'd make it together. He was sure of that.

 

One day he would have to talk to his dad again, mostly for legal reasons. But that day was not today, nor tomorrow, nor the coming week. The coming week was just him and his boyfriend, who was still snoozing off next to him.

Jesse decided to read two more chapters and then wake him up. He looked adorable anyway.

 

**Friday, July 17th, 20:50**

It had been a bit of a trip to get to their hotel, but here they were. A medium-sized hotel room with a good view, a TV, free internet, and a fairly luxurious bathroom. And the bed looked even more inviting in real life. Neither of them were tired at all, but their legs definitely were from hauling their bags around all day.

Both dropping on the bed, they simultaneously groaned in relief. It felt as good as it looked.

 

“Any chance you got another airplane bottle of vodka?” Jesse asked.

“Sorry, but no.” Hanzo replied. “Does the hotel room have a minibar?”

“Nope, sorry. Do ya wanna go out and look for a bar?”

“It’s a bit early, isn’t it? I mean, the sun is still up. Let’s just get a shower first and relax and then see. I mean, I know something to do the first night.”

“What’s that?” Jesse inquired.

“The Tour Montparnasse. It’s that skyscraper you’ve probably noticed. Tallest building in the city. We could get a great view of the city at night. Should be… romantic.” The last word was a bit muffled, as though Hanzo didn’t mean to say it, which was amplified by the fact he immediately got up. “I’m gonna go set up the shower though. Come join me in a bit.”

“Will do.” Jesse said, chuckling to himself. To so many people, showering together would mean something else entirely, but they did it all the time, and more than half of the time it was the opposite of sexual. It was just them talking and washing each other and, yeah, getting in a little physical affection, but not much. Right now, if they wanted to go out tonight, they were mostly showering together to save time and effort.

 

After an hour of just sitting in their hotel room, taking some selfies together to send to Hanzo’s group chat, and Hanzo taking pictures of Jesse sitting in the middle of their bed, silently on his phone, with his multi-lens camera (“I just want to capture every part of this trip”), the two of them headed out to Montparnasse.

Hanzo took pictures of Jesse in the elevator up the tower as well, lightly embarrassing him in front of the other passengers, but neither of them really seemed to mind. They were tourists, after all.

 

As they walked out on the rooftop terrace, Jesse couldn’t help but be a little breathless. It was almost exactly like he’d seen in the movies. Or, y’know, Ratatouille. But nevertheless, it was still absolutely gorgeous. As he followed the infrastructure of the town, he managed to find everything - which was fairly easy, considering the town’s layout is almost built around its most historical landmarks. The Arc de Triomphe, which was still fairly far away, had streets leading from it in every direction, the Notre Dame stood on an island in the middle of the Seine, and the Eiffel Tower was perfectly visible, being the only building in the whole city to rival the height of the building they were on right now. It was surreal.

 

“Han....” Jesse found it kind of hard to find the right words. "This is... gorgeous." Not the right one, but... it'd do.

“It is. It really is.”

 

The two men stood in silence, both failing to think of anything to say. Jesse fondled to find Hanzo’s hand, and gripped it tight. He didn’t want to leave. Hanzo took his hand and moved to hug Jesse from behind. There were others on the roof, but they didn’t care. Nobody could look away from a view like this. Jesse found his eyes almost tearing up at the intensity of the experience, but he forgave himself. He’d wanted this for so long.

It was a good hour of amazement later when they finally decided to maybe leave. The experience had been a lot, and Jesse honestly felt drained somehow. It was like everything caught up with him, and the tears did start flowing. Here he stood, one year after he’d escaped an unhappy future, in a city he’d dreamt of visiting, with a man he loved to pieces holding him, and... it might also have been the fact he had been awake for a good twelve hours on maybe three hours of sleep. But he just wanted to go back to the hotel room and sleep. Or party all night. There wasn’t really a border between the two right now. Jesse just wanted to live. But also sleep. Sleep probably was the better option here.

 

“You sure you don’t want to explore the nightlife a bit now?” Hanzo asked, finally letting go from holding Jesse from behind to look him in the eye.

“No, I’m good.” Jesse replied, trying to wipe the tears from the corners of his eyes. “This is… Fuck, this is everything I wanted. Everything. I just want to be with you. Now. For now. Is that okay? Please, Hanzo, is that okay?”

He felt intense, and he wasn’t sure what he was saying, but it was as though he was trying to release pure energy from his body. In a shining light, invisible to anyone but himself. Hanzo looked him in the eye, thought for a bit, and then replied.

“Of course it’s okay, Jesse. C’mon, let’s go back.”

 

\--

 

Hanzo would have told you the walk back home was not unlike the first time he walked Jesse home. The younger man was almost absent, leaning on him a lot, almost showing too much affection. But Hanzo didn’t mind. He knew Jesse, and even if this was new for him, he knew how much Paris meant to him. He was more than happy in coming here with him. This was their trip. Together.

Back in the hotel room, they both changed into their sleeping outfits, but as they were both on their phones, Hanzo tried talking to him about their plans for the coming few days, and Jesse didn’t respond to anything he said. Hanzo looked at Jesse’s phone, which was stuck in some random app Jesse often visited as a thoughtless pastime, but he didn’t do anything but stare blankly.

 

“Jesse?” Hanzo asked. “Hey, Jesse. You with me?”

Jesse looked at him, eyes once again watering. Hanzo had to admit, he was a bit worried. Jesse seemed spaced out, but not in the way he’d seen students on campus who liked recreational marijuana a bit too much. No, Jesse seemed… sad? He was on the verge of crying, it seemed. But he wasn’t there, somehow.

Hanzo thought it was best to leave it alone, knowing it might just be a highly emotional reaction to their trip together. He honestly didn’t know how Jesse felt, but he would make sure to keep him safe through this.

 

Until Jesse dropped his phone, sat up, swung one of his legs over Hanzo’s lap and suddenly kissed him deeply. Hanzo was taken aback, not really sure what to do, but kissed Jesse back, knowing the younger man often took solace in the simple gesture. As the kiss finished, he forced Jesse to pull back a bit so he could examine his expression. Jesse looked… intense. His eyes showed both tears and an expression of determination. His nose sniffed, and his lips betrayed him trying to speak, but failing. Almost stammering random noises, Jesse seemed halfway between crying and panicking.

Hanzo decided to give Jesse what the younger man had instinctively chosen was the best option, and kissed him back again. He felt the wetness of the tears as they finally rolled down his cheeks, and felt Jesse squeeze his shoulders and move his arms around Hanzo’s neck. The kisses were intense, but lacked any sort of want that would normally betray Jesse’s intention to go further. This also wasn’t like the times Jesse would come home drunk and emotionally in love with Hanzo, which happened about once a month, which is why Hanzo did recognise this state, even if it was fundamentally different.

 

It took a few more kisses for Jesse to break out in tears, sobbing as his grip loosened and he almost collapsed in Hanzo’s arms. He buried his face in Hanzo’s neck, and continued crying. Hanzo still didn’t know what to do, but decided to just comfort him. They could talk about this later. Whatever this was, right now, he just needs to show his support.

He rubbed Jesse’s back with one hand, tried to find one of Jesse’s hands with his other, and just let Jesse go through this. As he found Jesse’s hands still wrapped around him, Hanzo pried them off of his back, allowing him to lay Jesse back down on his side of the bed, making sure not to let go, as he somehow didn’t want Jesse to feel as though he’d left.

 

As Jesse laid down, he pulled a bit on Hanzo’s arm to signify he wanted Hanzo to be there. Hanzo complied, laying down next to him, foreheads touching, right hand held by both of Jesse’s in between them, going back to rubbing his back with his left hand. Jesse continued on his own, his sobbing now having turned pretty calm, but not letting go of Hanzo’s hand. Hanzo did whisper soft “Hey”’s and “It’s okay”’s, not entirely sure if they came through.

It took a while before Jesse fully stopped crying, but after a while, Hanzo noticed the younger man had fallen asleep. He tucked Jesse in under the sheets, checked his phone to find it was already past 1am, and went to try and sleep himself. He wasn’t too sleepy yet, with the jet lag, but he’d learned to make himself sleep over the years of travelling around the world. He worried a bit about Jesse’s state, but also knew in his heart that this was a good thing that happened. Worrying as that might sound.

 

They’d discuss it tomorrow.

 

**Saturday, July 18th, 9:00**

Hanzo’s phone alarm went off, his arm instinctively shooting out to turn it off but knocking his hand on the abnormally tall hotel nightstand. He waved the pain away, then reached to find his phone again, and turned off the alarm.

Looking around, he quickly realised where he was, and more importantly, immediately remembered what happened last night. Jesse was thankfully still asleep, as Hanzo felt he needed it after last night. Jesse drained himself with what happened. It’s probably best if both of them got a little more sleep. Not the right way to fight jet lag, but Hanzo didn’t care. Jesse needed this.

 

\--

 

**Saturday, July 18th, 11:16**

The warmth of the sun on his eyes was the first thing Jesse noticed as he woke up. He tried to open them, but they felt strangely heavy. Opting to keep them closed out of… laziness, he reached an arm out to his right instinctively to check if Hanzo was still in bed, but missed the rhythm as his hand failed to reach his boyfriend, even missing the bed, as it fell down to the floor. Opening his eyes mostly out of shock, Jesse sat up and looked to his right, only to find himself staring at a wall. Looking around, he first managed to figure out Hanzo was on his left instead, then spent half a second taking in his surroundings before remembering where he ended up. For some reason, they’d switched bed sides compared to how they slept at home.

 

Checking his phone, Jesse realised it was already a lot later than he’d hoped to be awake on their first day in Paris, and immediately nudged Hanzo to try and wake him up. Jetlag must have gotten the better of both of them.

“Hmm?” Hanzo begun. Jesse knew he wasn’t much of a snoozer, but he couldn’t blame Hanzo for wanting to stay asleep. This mattress was… ridiculous. He’d have to look it up somehow. It wasn’t often that Jesse got to see Hanzo sleep, and he still loved it every time. Hanzo tended to make a little cocoon out of the sheets, and he looked adorable as always.

“Wake u--” Jesse halted as he noticed his voice was weird, as if there was a bubble of air in his throat cancelling the noise. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Wake up, babe, it’s late.” That was better. Weird, though.

“What time is it?” Hanzo asked, already sitting up and trying to blink the remaining sleep out of his eyes. Jesse handed him his glasses, which were on his bedside table for some reason.

“Just past 11. Probably jetlag, huh?”

“Probably. I did wake up earlier but went back to sleep. Too early.”

Jesse sighed as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. He couldn’t disagree with Hanzo, although he frankly had no idea how long he was awake or asleep yesterday. They’d been up since about 3am, which wasn’t enough sleep, then spent seven hours on a plane, a few more hours in Paris, where they went to the big tower, and Jesse remembered he got this intense feeling of happiness about it. Then it’s kind of a semi-blackout.

“I’m still feeling tired somehow.” He spoke up as they both got out of bed. Though he really didn’t want to.

“Understandable. We have this sleep schedule built up, it can be… disorienting when you fall out of it.” Hanzo explained. “But this is still a reasonable time to wake up, with jet lag.”

“Cool.” Jesse wasn’t listening “Hey, could we go get some breakfast?”

“Yeah! I saw there’s a bakery down the street. Let’s get some real pain au chocolats.”

 

Walking down the street in a breezy summer look, considering the weather was surprisingly pleasant, Jesse looked around to see the old architecture of the buildings around them. Granted, it wasn’t quite as old as some other European cities, namely Rome, but he was actually able to see the different time periods and inspirations for the streets. To nobody’s surprise, this was mostly due to Hanzo’s ramblings rather than the classes Jesse took, but it did make him listen, learn, and genuinely become interested. He caught himself on it sometimes.

 

“So Han,” Jesse spoke up to address his boyfriend who was already taking pictures of the town and Jesse from all angles as they walked, “Since we’re here for three full days before we go off to Rome, I want to check out as much as possible. I made a list on my phone, so we can make a plan.”

 

Hanzo agreed and went back to taking pics, which Jesse couldn’t help but chuckle at. Hanzo really loved that camera and he didn’t often get a chance to use it - he never really took pics of Boston since “we live there”. But he looked like a professional yet strangely gleeful photographer holding it, and Jesse adored it. To the point where they both completely missed the bakery and walked straight past it, taking a good two extra minutes to realise and turn around, at which point Hanzo finally reluctantly put the camera away.

After Hanzo ordered them some freshly baked goods in surprisingly fluent French, the two of them were soon sat at the bakery’s terrace seats, fully indulging in tourist behaviour as Hanzo once again pulled out his camera to take pictures of Jesse eating a croissant. Jesse laughed, rolled his eyes, and addressed his boyfriend about something he now urgently had to discuss.

 

“So.” He begun before fully finishing his bite. “How come I’ve never heard you speak French? I mean, sure, you never had to before, but you never thought to tell me?” He added a playful wink.

“Well, you knew I’m fluent at multiple languages, right? It’s something I picked up pretty early, actually. My… father had a lot of international contacts, and we always had associates to translate, but as the next generation, the heir, of the family, I was taught multiple languages.”

“Ah.” Jesse thought of what to say. The two of them talked more about their pasts nowadays, and although it was still uncomfortable at times as the negative feelings never fade, it did always feel good to talk about it to a listening ear with a level of empathy.

“But hey, it translated well into the ‘international architect’ idea, so i never gave up on the multilingual part.”

“Honestly, it’s pretty sexy.” Jesse admitted.

“You’ve been thinking that the entire conversation, haven’t you?”

“Maybe. Listen, all I’m saying is I wouldn’t mind if you did it at home sometime. For practice, of course. Don’t wanna go stale.”

“You know, Jesse, technically my first language is Japanese. Ever thought about that? I’ve been speaking a second language with you the entire time we’ve known each other.”

“And you’re surprisingly flawless. I mean, I still notice your accent at times, but you’re eloquent as hell. When’s the last time you even spoke Japanese?”

“Well, living in America helps with that. And I actually do speak Japanese sometimes when I’m talking to other Japanese people, or when I’m too tired to even properly form English sentences, but at this point, English just comes more naturally to me. I’m fairly sure my thought process is in English.”

“That’s awesome, honestly.” Jesse said before finishing the last of his breakfast and taking a sip of the rest of his coffee. Not bad. Somehow he’d expected it to be French Vanilla. It wasn’t. “I only speak English at this point. I was raised with a little bit of Mexican Spanish with my family but my dad insisted I was raised in English.”

“How very American of him.” Hanzo raised an eyebrow as he, too, finished with his coffee.

“C’est la vie.” Jesse answered and immediately winced as he knew how incredibly thick his accent sounded. Maybe not his strongest suit.

 

Hanzo laughed under his breath, put down his cup, and waited for Jesse to finish so they could get up and continue on their first day in Paris.

“So.” Hanzo begun. “How about we take a tour boat on the Seine and figure out where we want to go on there?”

“Sounds good to me.” Jesse agreed. “Actually wanted to do one of those in the first place.”

 

**Saturday, July 18th, 13:05**

Jesse looked up as the tour boat finally took off. They were technically inside, in a greenhouse-like room on the boat where they sat under the slanted glass roof to see the city. The view was surprisingly good.

The tour guide started speaking in English, in a thick french accent, but Hanzo pulled out a map he grabbed earlier at the tour boat’s register and addressed Jesse before the latter could even start listening.

 

“So, let’s start planning.” He took out a black marker and started circling seven locations, clearly distinguishing them, and pointed at the locations with it after “Here’s our hotel. Here’s the Eiffel Tower, here’s the Tour Montparnasse, the Arc de Triomphe, the Notre Dame, the Louvre, the Sacré-Coeur and Moulin Rouge. Those are the most basic spots, but where else did you want to go?”

“Well.” Jesse replied, looking at the map, “First of all, let’s not do the Moulin Rouge and the Sacré-Coeur? I like culture, but not theatre, and I’m not really into the religious vibe.” Hanzo scoffed and blacked the two locations out. “Then some other places I do want to visit are the Centre Pompidou, the art district in Montparnasse, the Grande Arche, the Champs-Elysées, of course, maybe just go to a mall to shop around ‘cause I’ve never done that in a foreign country, and maybe have a romantic evening walk by the Seine.” He smiled and winked at Hanzo after the last one, though in reality he felt butterflies brush against his chest at the thought of it. God, he was a sucker for the basic tourist stuff. He loved it.

“Alright, well, first of all, you definitely mispronounced all of that. Thank god we’re on a boat with tourists, or else everyone around would be judging you. Secondly, I think those things can all be arranged, though we’ll have a busy few days. No problem, though, right? We’ve got those comfy hotel beds.”

“We definitely do.”

“So when this tour boat ends we’ll be fairly close to the Tower. Wanna try and do both that and the Arc de Triomphe today? And maybe afterwards we can take the subway to Montparnasse and take .”

Jesse laughed under his breath. Hanzo looked at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, and Jesse explained: “It’s just funny how I’m the one that had wanted to go to Paris for so long, and here you are, planning our days for us.”

“I mean, I’m the weathered traveller, aren’t I?” Hanzo chuckled. “I wanna see all of this too, y’know. I haven’t actually been up the Eiffel Tower either.”

“Well then, let’s get it over with.”

 

The tour boat led the two of them along the seine, although the biggest thing that was visible from the boat itself was the Eiffel Tower, which Jesse felt was a lot bigger than he expected. He’d read up on it, so he knew how tall it was, but it was even more impressive up close. The only other time he was able to see it was on top of the Tour Montparnasse, and that had been… fuzzy.

After they got off the boat, the two walked down one street to the Arc de Triomphe, which was… well, a gigantic arch. With a huge street around it. Jesse felt slightly underwhelmed by the monument, static and stoic in its appearance, but he was still impressed. He was quite sure it was perhaps one of the oldest statues he’d ever seen. Asking Hanzo when it was built, that bubble was burst. Only two centuries ago. Newer than Boston. Though Hanzo reassured him that Paris was a city of many centuries, so they’d definitely come across something old soon.

 

The walk to the Eiffel tower was a fairly long walk, during which they sat down got lunch, so it was around 16:00 when they arrived at the Tour Eiffel. It was around forty-five minutes later that they could actually enter the elevator and ride it up, but it was fine; neither of them were very athletic men, so they were happy to be able to rest a while after the walk. Hanzo mostly took pictures again while Jesse leaned on various items, inspecting the structure of the metal work above them

Atop the Tower, Jesse couldn’t help but gasp again. The entire city was once again laid out for him, just like the previous night, but now it was daytime.

Hanzo walked the two of them around the top and pointed out the locations they wanted to visit, and they both took turns taking pictures of each other with the city behind them. It was when Jesse pointed out the Tour Montparnasse as the only other tall building in the whole city when Hanzo addressed him in a… certain tone.

 

“You know,” he started, kind of drawing out his words, as though he was thinking of what to say. “After that tower was finished... it was widely thought to be a hideous building since it ruined the Paris atmosphere so much, so... they banned buildings that were higher than seven floors.”

“Really?” Jesse asked, semi-distracted by Hanzo having returned to his teaching tone, though it was definitely more casual.

“Yeah.” Hanzo wasn’t looking at him either, just staring off into the distance. “It’s considered the second ugliest building in the world. Wanna know the ugliest building in the world?”

“Sure?”

“Boston city hall.”

“Wow.” Jesse wasn’t really listening, mostly distracted as well now. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere. “Han… What’s going on?”

“Oh. Well.” Hanzo took off his glasses to clean them with his shirt. “I wanted to ask you something and I couldn’t really find the right time.”

“What’s up?”

“Last night, on the Montparnasse.”

Ah, right. Jesse kind of knew this was going to come up. Though he does remember last night, it wasn’t regular memories. The experience was very different.

“What was going on, Jesse? You seemed out of it.”

“I’ll be honest. I don’t know either. It’s fuzzy. I do remember everything that happened, from being up there being held by you to walking home to kissing you in bed,” Jesse hushed the last bit - he’d been taking advantage of the language barrier for most of the day but he was around tourists here, they might hear him. “but I don’t know. I really was... out of it.”

“I just want to know... ” Hanzo silently reached for his hand. “Were you okay?”

“I was. I really was.” Jesse grabbed the offered hand, interlocking their fingers, sighed, and laughed. “It was a sort of emotional high, I think. Everything I’ve wanted for so long... has suddenly come into my life, y’know? It all just came to me at once. It was like everything bad kind of went away in that moment. Sorry if I didn’t… The kisses were cause I sat in bed and saw you and… Well, it’s sappy, but I just wanted to show you somehow that I was happy to be there with ya. Even if I thought that was the right way. God, that must have been strange.”

“It’s okay, Jesse. I was just worried. I mostly thought it was the jet lag catching up with you, but it’s good to hear a bit of an explanation. Even if it’s far from what I thought. And yes, kissing you while you were crying was a bit odd, but not the worst I’ve seen of you.”

Jesse squeezed Hanzo’s hand and let go as a retort. Honestly, he would be ashamed of the whole situation last night if he hadn’t been riding that emotional high the entire time he had been in Paris, heck, even if it wasn’t like last night anymore, it was still there.

“Just know I’m really happy to be here with you too, okay?” Hanzo added. “I am. And we really are up here on the Eiffel Tower now. It’s a reality check. I don’t blame you.” Jesse actually pinched himself. He felt the same feeling he felt last night, but dimmed. It still felt great.

 

They stayed on top of the Eiffel Tower for a good hour or so before Jesse actually got bored of it. Well, not bored, but he was aching for something different.

The two decided to take the metro to Montparnasse first while it was still daylight and have dinner as the sun began to set. They found a crowded yet intimate terrace somewhere with a great atmosphere, and both ordered pasta and wine and laughed as they talked about odds and ends. Hanzo insisted he had to take a picture of Jesse in this light, which turned into a semi-photoshoot, but in the end they walked back to their hotel once more, Hanzo happy to have Jesse with him now, and Jesse happy to… well, be there. It was still gorgeous at night.

 

**Monday, July 20th, 10:00**

“You really sure about this?” Jesse asked Hanzo as he examined his new denim jacket in the mirror. Hanzo had reassured him… countless times that he looked great in it, but Jesse had yet to warm up to it. Especially since it was such a cold tone compared to the usual reds he wore. Though he had to admit, Hanzo wore mostly blue colours and he looked absolutely stunning in Jesse’s flannels (and the rest of Jesse’s wardrobe he chose to wear on comfortable days in. Jesse owned a lot of lazy clothes), so perhaps Jesse should try something cooler. He looked good in it. He just wasn’t sure.

 

They went shopping the day before, choosing to interlude their list of tourist traps with something else so they wouldn’t get tired of seeing the sights. Hanzo really intended it for them to get some more formal clothes for Jesse to wear other than the few shirts and ties and the fully tailored suit from washington, but Jesse opted for casual wear instead. He still had three more years of university anyway, so other than the few events Hanzo takes him to, Jesse wasn’t gonna need anything fancy.

Hanzo had expected Jesse to want to visit some expensive Parisian brand stores, which he objected to, but to his surprise, Jesse just wanted to shop in a different country. It was a whole different experience, after all.

They’d returned to their hotel around their regular dinner time, sat in bed for a while to rest, then went out to have dinner, took a romantic walk past the Seine, and made out a bunch in the shower. Good thing Jesse actually remembered to pack condoms this time.

 

Today, though, they were going back to the sight-seeing. Tomorrow they’d take an early flight to Rome, so they had to fit in as many of the other places they wanted to see in today. Hanzo had expected this, so he’d chosen a series of places that were all surprisingly close to one another - the Champs-Elysées, the Louvre, Le Centre Pompidou, and the Notre Dame. All within walking distance from one another.

“You look great, Jesse.” Hanzo said from the bathroom, where he was finishing his grooming before putting on his glasses, coming into the room, and actually looking at his boyfriend. “See, I didn’t even see you and I already knew. Looks great on you. I wouldn’t have let you buy it if it didn’t.”

“Alright, fine.” Jesse complied, “I’m just glad it won’t be as hot as it was yesterday so I can actually wear it out.”

“God, right. Yesterday was unbearable.”

The two continued to chat about the weather as Hanzo got dressed, putting on one of their flannels instead, which he remarked wasn’t much of a summer look ‘but flannel is appropriate year-round’, and stood next to Jesse in front of them to touch it up, cuffing the sleeves and re-folding the collar. Jesse laughed under his breath - they looked like they dressed up as one another. Granted, they were just about the same size and were able to share most of their clothes, Jesse feeling Hanzo always looked gorgeous in anything with little effort, but this time it was almost on purpose. After turning to his boyfriend for a quick kiss and a compliment, they both grabbed their bags and left for breakfast. They had a long day ahead.

 

**Monday, July 20th, 14:30**

Jesse yawned inside the Louvre. He felt mildly disrespectful, but… whatever. They were both fairly tired out after yesterday, and the residual heat in the hotel room made it hard to sleep for a few hours into the night, since their AC was broken, and they had been active today as well. His legs were burning up, but not in a bad way - he was still incredibly excited about being in Paris, going everywhere he’d wanted to go for so long. He was just… so tired.

The Champs-Elysées was… Well, it was nice, but nothing spectacular. He’d just heard too many stories about it, he supposed. The Louvre… well, it was still nice to see it in real life, and it was exciting to stand under the glass pyramid in real life, but the Mona Lisa was nearly invisible behind the crowd of tourists looking at it, and the rest was just… uninteresting. Jesse felt a little disappointed.

 

“Hey,” Hanzo walked over to his side, addressing him in a hushed tone. “You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah.” Jesse said a little too forcedly energetic, immediately feeling exhausted. “Just… Do you think we’ve been trying to do too much in a few days? Should I have planned for longer so we had the time to just relax?”

“I mean, we went to Paris to be the tourist you wanted to be. It’s not like we went to a beach town to leisure. This is just to be expected.”

“Oh, we should have done that. We really should have. Next time, please.”

“Next time.” Hanzo patted his shoulder and walked them over to a bench in the middle of the gallery they were currently in, and sat Jesse down. “Here, have a moment. I’m gonna get some coffee. You haven’t had any since breakfast.”

Jesse chuckled at the idea that coffee was going to help his burning legs, but he did very much enjoy sitting down for one of the first times today. He started digging through Hanzo’s bag for the camera. Normally Hanzo had it hanging around his neck almost constantly, but the museum didn’t allow active cameras, so Jesse decided to take a look at the constant pictures the older man was taking.

 

The last picture he’d taken was a candid photo of Jesse yawning, looking at the wall of paintings which went out of focus behind him. Jesse had no idea Hanzo took this pic, but he wasn’t surprised. Hanzo had taken a surprising amount of pictures of Jesse the past few days, always when the latter wasn’t aware. Jesse loved it though, it made him feel like an artistic subject. And he was distracted often enough by nice sights from high points or old buildings or random cats that he was never aware Hanzo was taking photos.

The next picture Jesse stopped to look at was of him that morning. He was snoozing, shirtless but still under the sheets from the waist down, as the sunlight streamed over his face in streaks. It was one of those photos people should consider themselves lucky to have, and Jesse did. It was gorgeous. Hanzo was like his own private professional photographer. Jesse would honestly frame it if it weren’t extremely weird to have a photo of yourself shirtless and asleep on your wall. It was gorgeous, though.

A different picture Jesse instantly recognised was one of the few he took while he held onto the camera the day before. It allowed him to snap some nice shots of the older man, even if he sucked at it. In this picture, Hanzo was sat on the edge of a fountain in an indoor shopping mall, dressed in a white shirt, slim fit light wash jeans that had its looser ends cuffed, and black boots, light streaming from the skylight onto him as he checked his phone and ate one of the crêpes they’d bought at a nearby place. The framing was actually nice compared to his other pics, and he had shot Hanzo in a gorgeous angle, with a few strands of his long hair falling out of his bun and over his face. This one they should also print and get framed. After a touch-up, though. Maybe. For his skills, this was extraordinary.

The final picture he really stopped to look and smile at was one they took on top of the Eiffel tower of the two of them - both with sunglasses (Hanzo’s were prescription) smiling as they pressed their faces together to fit in the picture. They had to retake the picture many times before it actually turned out okay, but it was cute. They looked like the tourists they definitely were, and Jesse loved it.

 

He continued looking through pictures for a good while before Hanzo came back, explaining the museum did have a café but not allowing beverages near the exhibits, so soon the two were sat in the café sipping on their regular drinks, in silence. Jesse really still felt exhausted. Wasn’t really able to focus on anything either. They both sat there in silence, Jesse definitely not up to talking too much, and Hanzo somehow getting the hint. Jesse didn’t understand how Hanzo read him so easily sometimes, he definitely felt he wouldn’t be able to.

 

Hanzo did pull out the camera again and handed it over to Jesse, just saying “Did you find any nice pictures?”. Jesse took the camera and showed Hanzo the few pictures he really loved and explained briefly what he loved. Hanzo studied the pictures shortly, smiling a bunch at the snoozing-Jesse picture, and explained what he loved about them - especially the candid photo Jesse took of him on the fountain. They both knew Jesse often failed properly frame the subject but he centered Hanzo perfectly to include enough of the surroundings but still focus on him.

 

\--

 

Putting the camera away, Hanzo joked about getting some of them framed. The pictures the two of them made with the camera ended up on a hard drive they kept at home, but Jesse wasn’t aware that that night in their hotel room, Hanzo actually did already get their Eiffel selfie framed and scheduled for delivery when they’d returned home. It’d go into his collection of travelling pictures.

 

\--

 

They had minimal conversation until they reached the Centre Pompidou, where they yet again sat down on a bench in the shade of a tree and Jesse actually asked Hanzo if he wasn’t tired.

“Of course I am.” Hanzo explained. “I’m only human. I’m just better at pretending to have energy. I’m probably just as tired as you are, but I feel if I stop talking completely, I’ll crash immediately.”

 

Jesse scoffed. It was funny, even if Hanzo had grown to be… so much more familiar with him, the older man was still always a little bit more reserved. Quieter. Jesse thought out loud, Hanzo was the one to think through completely before saying anything. The irony that they were the complete opposites when tired wasn’t expected. But hey, it was a welcome change.

 

“So if you wanna keep talking, what can you tell me about this place? Just anything.”

“Centre Pompidou?” Hanzo asked, in his perfect French accent. Jesse laughed to himself as he rested his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. He could hear his heartbeat, and the vibrations as he spoke. He loved it.

“Well,” Hanzo continued, recognising Jesse’s silence for affirmation. “It’s an art center. Inside is an art gallery, a library, a music… something. Listen, I only know what the internet told me when I was doing research on tourist spots in large cities. Though as you can see, this building is basically just missing its outer shell so you can see its structural work, and it made art a more common thing after it was built. It made museums less… expensive. Normally they were exquisitely designed buildings for the elite, but this was a… project for the people... Admirable...”

 

Hanzo continued talking some more about the art and the library, which Jesse didn’t really care about too much. so he just sat there, focusing on the sound of his boyfriend talking, not registering any of the words, but enjoying them nonetheless. He felt drained by the emotional instability he’d struggled with the past few days, but even if there were multiple moments he felt he wasn’t really there, they all had one thing in common, still: gratitude. And it was stronger than ever, even in this moment. With his boyfriend, in Paris, in the shade on a sunny day, hearing the people walk around him. All he needed is an ambient acoustic guitar and the moment would be perfect. He had no idea why he loved this moment as much as he did, but… he did.

 

The two of them found another nice terrace to get dinner, halfway through which Jesse finally regained his energy again to converse with Hanzo a little, and Hanzo was happy to see him back. They enjoyed their meals, had an extra cup of coffee after they had finished, and saw the sun slowly start setting as they continued to stroll to the Notre Dame.

Crossing the Seine at 9pm, Jesse saw the two towers being lighted by spotlights as the sun set behind them, and it looked… perfect for the last bit of their last evening here. The flight tomorrow morning was yet again an early one, though it’d be short, it was the smarter option considering traffic.

There were fire dancers stood on the large plaza outside the cathedral, which looked only partially out of place as Hanzo and Jesse both had gotten a taste of the multiculturalism of the city and it worked for them. Plus, the show was amazing to watch for tired eyes. Even if they’d regained their energy again, Jesse was happy to just lazily watch the swirling lights.

 

“Are you sad that Paris is coming to an end?” Hanzo asked, once again nearly missing Jesse as the latter leaned on his shoulder.

Jesse knew he wasn’t. Of course he’d like it to go on longer, but he was satisfied. He’d accomplished everything he wanted, which was the only thing he really worried about. Apart from perhaps the few moments today he was simply tired, he had nothing he felt bad about. From their first breakfast to the eiffel tower to his emotional crash the first night… Everything felt good. He felt good. He felt in love. He raised his head to turn Hanzo’s cheek to kiss the older man and immediately went back to his shoulder. Yeah. In love.

They sat there in silence for perhaps a good half an hour, just watching the show, both with their arms around each other, Hanzo rubbing slow circles in Jesse’s back. Jesse found himself crying just a bit again, to Hanzo’s worry, which he could quickly let dissipate with a quick kiss and an “I’m okay”. He did feel very emotional again, but in a better way. Somehow even better. He never wanted to leave. The night was perfect.

 

They did definitely leave, though, pretty quickly, actually, as the summer night cold air breezed on both of them, prompting them both to get up and walk back to the hotel, where Jesse pulled Hanzo in bed and spooned him for the rest of the night, not really talking much, just being in each other’s company. Sometimes just laying there together in silence until they eventually fell asleep was so much better than constant conversation. Both of them knew how to appreciate each other, for hours at a time.

Or, at least, the few hours they had before they had to wake up for their flight to Rome.

 

**Tuesday, July 21st, 11:00**

Finally, a room with air conditioning. The weather had been getting progressively more humid and they’d spent the entire day travelling again. At least they were still in the same time zone. Somehow.

Much like last time, their big plans for the rest of the day were simply to tour the town a little, maybe see if they could find a place to observe the whole town, and maybe find a bar later on and just drink a little.

Jesse felt a little bad that he hadn’t prepared as much for the Rome part of the trip as he had the Paris part, but he figured Hanzo was prepared for it. He was the one that wanted to go here. Tomorrow was his birthday, though. He should really plan something. He’d figured they would spend the day together, do things he knew Hanzo loved, kiss a bunch, and end the day either dancing in a club or a movie night at home. With the two of them, it was always really either option for a night together.

 

“I think we should immediately go take a nap.” Hanzo said, already fully laying on the bed while Jesse was storing away his suitcase for now. “If you won’t, I will.”

The trip to Rome had been surprisingly rough. Apart from running through what must have been the entire airport to catch their plane, then having to wait the better part of an hour at the luggage retrieval area for some reason, and finally, getting very lost on their way to the hotel, Jesse found the idea tempting as well. The bed looked incredibly soft and Hanzo was already getting out of the outfit he travelled in all morning.

Eh, fuck it. They’d be in Rome for the rest of the week. How much time can a nap really take?

 

 

Seven hours, apparently. Yeah, they hadn’t slept much the night before, both because it’s hard to sleep when your hotel room doesn’t cool down and you refuse to let go of the person you’re spooning with cause you love them and the heat needs to respect that, and because of their early flight the next morning. But now they definitely overslept during their ‘nap’, so going to bed on time tonight was out of the question. No time zones involved, and finally they’d managed to screw up their sleep schedule.

“Well, fuck.” Hanzo begun as they both looked at the time on Jesse’s phone. It was rare Hanzo spoke so… crudely, but Jesse agreed. “Well, we overslept. We still can go out to walk around a little? Maybe get a drink?”

“Nah, I’m not gonna enjoy it now. Need to be more awake.” Jesse replied. “Maybe we can just unpack, get delivery, and then have a movie night in?”

“Sure. You can think of a movie.” Hanzo agreed, moving to getting out of bed. “Could you open the window? It’s hot in here.”

 

Jesse moved to open the surprisingly big window - it was almost a big balcony double door with just a fence instead of a balcony, with a view over the hotel’s street. It was still light outside, and fairly warm, but still colder than the hotel room - so Jesse enjoyed the breeze for a second and reflected. They really were in Rome now. Sure, they hadn’t seen much of the city yet, but it was still surreal. You step on a plane, sit there for a few hours, and suddenly you’re halfway across the world. At your boyfriend’s ideal location, with him, in a hotel room, about to spend the whole night with a bottle of wine and, of course, The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Jesse knew as soon as Hanzo asked him to pick a movie.

He had planned for the two of them to eat out as much as possible, eating at the finest, or above-average-est restaurants they wanted to eat at, but lord, was this delivery good. Even if it didn’t taste right having dinner for breakfast, although very college-student-like, it went down surprisingly well. Much like the wine they’d ordered through room service, which the two of them went through before the first half of the movie, allowing them both to shamelessly scream along to “Sing to me, Paolo!” and laugh about it for a solid five minutes after. Hanzo preferred his double whiskey, Jesse preferred cocktails, but a good bottle of wine they both enjoyed made for a good night in.

 

As Jesse laid there on his boyfriend’s chest, both of them half-drunk, both of them in comfortable clothes they hadn’t worn for the entirety of the trip, so far, watching a sci-fi series they’d been watching at home, he once again started feeling emotional. It was dimmed, perhaps due to the wine, but still, he had to pinch himself for a moment. Or hug Hanzo a little tighter. He’d always expected himself to get tired of a boyfriend after a while, or vice versa, but he’d reached nowhere near that. Especially concerning physical affection. Jesse was a needy guy, and Hanzo knew how to provide. Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, they often spent entire nights like this.

 

Jesse sat up and hugged Hanzo especially tightly for once. Out of pure gratitude. For being there with him. The past few days had been a good type of surreal, and he needed to ground himself a little.

“Hey, hey now, hey now.” Hanzo begun. He was right. This was what dreams are made of. “You okay?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m good, don’t worry. It’s just… We’re in Rome now, y’know.”

“I am aware. I’m kidding. I know this is special to you. Come closer if you want. Hell, I’m drunk enough if you’re up for something.” The last part was a joke, the both of them knew that. Their bodies were still just weak after

“Nah, I’m good.” Jesse laughed. “I was good just now. Basically want to lay on top of you at this point, but I’ll take what I can get.”

 

The two continued watching the series for a good few episodes, eventually even ordering another bottle of wine just before midnight to celebrate the beginning of Hanzo’s 27th birthday, which they both only had one glass of, then put away Jesse’s laptop, talked a little, then cuddled till they fell asleep again, late into the night. They had a long day coming up.

 

**Wednesday, July 22nd, 9:00am**

Hanzo’s phone alarm went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and quickly switched it off, and looked back at Jesse. The two were already outside, walking to a nearby bakery, after waking up around 5 and not really finding a way back asleep. They’d spent another few hours in their bed, kind of snoozing, kind of watching a series, kind of kissing, but generally having a lazy start to Hanzo’s birthday. Which was fine with him, he’d said, because he’s normally not a lazy start kinda guy but it felt good for once.

It was only around 9 ‘o'clock that nearby breakfast places would start to open so they were just walking around aimlessly, hoping to find a good bakery somewhere.

 

“So, what did you plan for today?” Jesse asked Hanzo. They’d went over how they wanted to do this a few weeks earlier - Hanzo could pick anything to do for the day and they’d do it. Jesse figured Hanzo knew more about the city and would want to know what to do, and Hanzo agreed with the idea.

“Didn’t we go over this earlier this morning?” Hanzo asked. “You already asked me, back in bed.”

“Did I?” Jesse didn’t really know. Ah, right. “Yeah, I might not have been listening, I was too comfortable.”

Hanzo scoffed, pulling out his phone again. He’d made a battle plan. “Alright, so, first off, there are two places we should definitely go see today. The Fontana di Trevi and the Colosseo.” It took Jesse a second for the names to process, during which Hanzo did look at him very judgmentally, then laughed and continued. “Just the two, they’ll probably take up most of the day already. And other than that we can have lunch in a park or near the river and walk around the town and explore some shops and architecture. Then have dinner at a nice pizza place, have some drinks at a nice terrace, and then we’ll return to the hotel for the night.” He added a wink to the last

“Y’know, I thought you’d have something more specific planned than that.”

“Well, the thing is that... I just love the atmosphere of the town, so just wandering seems great to me. And it’s a nice day today, so it should all be good for you too.”

 

Surprisingly, the energy of the day already felt a lot better to Jesse. It’d only been one fairly exhausting day since they were both drained back in Paris but surprisingly his energy had returned. Probably because he’d stayed in the same comfortable bed for a good eighteen hours. That probably helped.

They found a cute breakfast place soon and ordered some sandwich rolls with smoothies, which went down very well. A good start to a good birthday. Jesse was happy that the situation they were in was so spontaneous and irregular, because he wasn’t sure if he would’ve planned a nice birthday for Hanzo otherwise. The party they planned together was a fun idea, but Jesse still liked to have something personal. So now here they were. It was, really, ideal.

Which brought up another topic.

 

“So.” Jesse set down his smoothie. “Considering the fact people usually buy people gifts on their birthday...”

“Jesse...” Hanzo whined, almost too quickly as if he knew it was coming. “I mean, you got us this trip already. I’m satisfied. Believe me. But I know you, so I just hope it’s not too much.”

“Well, I didn’t get you anything.” Jesse begun. Hanzo looked almost shocked, though Jesse knew why. The man probably thought Jesse bought them a car.

“Oh, wow. I mean, I’m not complaining. You got me more than enough already. You bought me half of a new wardrobe already back in Paris.”

“Well, I just didn’t know to get anything you didn’t already want earlier, I never saved anything big for your birthday. So I figured I’d get you something special here. Here, in Rome. So today you can point at something and I’ll buy it for ya. Cool?”

“Jesse...” Hanzo said, again. “Alright. Okay. I’ll think of something.”

“Good.” Jesse smiled, picking his sandwich roll back up again and taking a bite.

 

It was not until they’d both continued to eat for a good twenty seconds before Jesse spoke up again.

“Han...” he begun.

“Hmm?” Hanzo replied, looking up from his phone with his mouth full.

 

“At this point, am I your sugar daddy?”

 

**Wednesday, July 22nd, 11:45**

The Trevi fountain was surprisingly busy. Jesse had seen the crowds around it in the movie they watched the night before, but he didn’t expect to relive it so vividly.

It’d taken them a while to get there, since Hanzo decided to start early with the street touring and random shopping. Jesse loved it, though, because since it was both Hanzo’s birthday and their first day in Rome, there was just a constant level of excitement around them. Hanzo was so much more energetic and pointed out at least twice as many things to Jesse - and Jesse easily put up with it since he actually wanted to see everything as well and, somehow, Hanzo just had a much keener eye. Photographer’s habit, maybe.

As Jesse examined the cool, blue water, his brain telling him for some reason the police definitely wouldn’t mind if he jumped in for a second, it was Hanzo that spoke up first.

 

“Surprisingly, this is better than I expected. Didn’t get to see it my first time here - didn’t get to see much of anything my first time here, really - but it’s better than I thought. So many landmarks are so disappointing, like the mermaid in Copenhagen, the Arc de Triomphe, even Boston City Hall, the ugliest building in the world, but this one is good. I love it.“

“So do I, y’know.” Jesse agreed. The fountain was large and impressive and honestly gorgeous. As Hanzo had told him, it was from the 18th century, which in Rome means ‘recent’, but that was still an impressive age to Jesse. And the crowd around it was expected. “Hey, wanna throw in a coin and make a wish?”

“Sure.” Hanzo replied. The two both got a coin, turned around, and threw it in. He half expected a cute guy to stand in front of him as he turned back like in the movie, but instead he was at his side. It honestly helped already. Maybe these wishes weren’t needed at all. God, ew, this was cheesy. Ew.

“So? What did you wish for?” Hanzo asked, eyebrows raised, adding a wink as they both knew what Jesse would say.

“Well I’d say I shouldn’t tell you cause it wouldn’t come true, but it already did.” Jesse smiled. Cheesily. He embraced it, really. “How about you?”

“That’s good. And I’m not gonna tell you either. Hasn’t come true, though. But it probably will. Sometime very soon.”

“How soon?” Jesse asked, playful but undeniably curious as well.

Hanzo grinned, took Jesse’s cheek and gave him a short kiss. Not a quick peck, but not a full public display of gay, gay affection either. It was on his mind, but alas.

“That soon. Now for about 999.999 more of those and we’ll be good.”

Jesse laughed, punched Hanzo lightly in the arm, and then grabbed it to lead him away to a nearby stone wall.

 

“Here, quick, let’s have that number go down a little faster.” Jesse said, motioning his hands for Hanzo to come to him.

The older man laughed under his breath, smiled, and kissed him similarly again, though a little longer this time. The people there were mostly preoccupied with the fountain, so he didn’t mind the performance.

“That number is going down by a lot today, believe me.” Hanzo laughed, taking out his camera to take some more scenic shots. Jesse knew he liked including other tourists in his shots but not focusing on them - it made the shots less gallery-worthy but it did give them a much better recollection how it was to really be there rather than looking at pictures they found online.

“So does the number only go down when it’s on the lips, or…?” Jesse asked, being interrupted quickly by Hanzo slapping him with the back of his hand and a judgmental look from behind the camera. “Alright, alright, I’ll find out later.”, he chuckled.

 

They got up fairly soon to walk to the Colosseum, which Hanzo estimated would take about an hour, which they both then acknowledged would easily turn into two hours, so they just took their time. They explored every ruined forum on their path, Hanzo took his time to take at LEAST twenty pictures every opportunity he got (which they would sift through later, deciding together which ones to keep), and eventually Hanzo even decided what he wanted as a birthday gift from Jesse - a three euro fridge magnet with a 3D decal of the colosseum.

 

“What is it?” Hanzo asked, grin wide on his face. “You told me I could point at anything and you’d get it for me. What did you expect me to want? An Armani suit?”

“I would’ve--”

“I know you would have, but you know me. I don’t like brand name stuff. I mean, this is definitely an original designer souvenir three euro fridge magnet, but I can make an exception.”

 

Jesse couldn’t help but laugh again. As Hanzo continued to argue very fakely passionately about how much this magnet would mean to him, Jesse walked over, shut him up with another quick kiss, counted “999,985” and bough him the damn magnet. He loved it. Plus, now they’d have definite proof they were in Rome, right? He kept laughing to himself all the way till the end of the street, kissed Hanzo again, made another ‘sugar daddy’ comment, and continued walking with his boyfriend. His damn boyfriend, who kept surprising him.

As it became around 1pm, they decided to have paninis with coffee at a cute café, which Jesse found were simply grilled cheeses but better. Hanzo explained he could easily make them at home, which made him kind of lose Jesse for half a minute in that glorious dream fantasy, and then asked his boyfriend a question.

 

“So? How are you enjoying Rome so far?”

“No complaints.” Jesse said, quickly finishing his bite to continue. “I mean, I’m living the Lizzie dream. We just have to hire a Vespa and ride around and it’ll be complete.”

“Never.” Hanzo simply replied.

“Alright, alright. But hey, how is your birthday so far? Enjoying it? I mean, I don’t know your other birthdays, I wouldn’t know if you had a great memory I should have tried to outshine.”

“No, not really. This has been one of the better ones. But it’s different now.” Hanzo continued before taking a sip of his coffee.

“One of the better ones? Really? Good, so what do I do to make it The Best One?”

Hanzo chuckled, put down his cup, and moved his hand to hold Jesse’s. “Listen, I’m trying to say this is a great birthday in itself. I can’t compare it to any of my previous ones because I’ve never spent the whole day privately with someone else. Who I loved. So I can’t say if it’s better or worse. I can only say it’s good. It’s amazing. I mean, I’m in Rome. The town I love, with the person I love, seeing locations I love and eating unhealthy food I love. Right now it simply can’t get any better.”

“That’s good.” Jesse said, quickly moving his other hand over Hanzo’s hand to squeeze it before returning to his coffee. “Now how will I do better next year…?”

“That’s on you.. Good luck outshining this.”

 

The two continued conversing for a while, finished their lunch, got up and continued walking to the Colosseum. They only stopped at three more small shops before they finally arrived, and Jesse was impressed. It looked exactly how it did in pictures, but… bigger. It was actually bigger than he expected. And he knew it was from the 1st century, which made it so much more impressive. Finally, a tourist-y spot worth visiting. It was a little overwhelming.

“Now I do have to warn you beforehand.” Hanzo begun, talking slowly. “It’s not like the movies, there is no big stage inside. It’s mostly ruins.”

“Aww, man.” Jesse said, feigning disappointment. He was fully aware. He’d googled it earlier. “But it’s still cool! Can I take a picture of you in front of it?”

Hanzo handed over the camera, walked forward a few steps, and as the perfect modelling pose, pulled out the fridge magnet and held it next to him as though to compare the two. As Jesse noticed and lowered his arms to reveal his disappointment on his face, Hanzo bent over laughing, quickly got up, and resumed the pose, giving Jesse no choice but to take the pic. He absolutely loved it, though, cause Hanzo was only so rarely silly. It was a side of him Jesse adored but got to see so little of.

“You want to take a tour?” Hanzo asked. Jesse pointed over to the long line already present and waiting for the tour, which made Hanzo reconsider, deciding for a good ten seconds before walking back over to Jesse and handing him the magnet. “You’re right. I mean, we’ve got like five more days - if we’re not sick of seeing old ruined stone by then, we can just do it later.”

Jesse gave him a thumbs-up, returned the camera and the magnet, and the two sat down for a while, simply impressed by the bi-millenium-old monument.

 

The two spent most the rest of the afternoon sitting in the grass near at a nearby park, the having bought a large bottle of water and a bag of chips at a nearby convenience store, just watching people go by, listening to a playlist Jesse had found playing softly on his phone. Jesse had to ask if this is what Hanzo really wanted to do today, but Hanzo simply took his hand, kissed him for the longest time he had today, looked him in the eyes, kissed him again, briefly, and then reaffirmed that there was no better way to spend the day.

Jesse understood then. He’d just been worried he wasn’t contributing to the day, but they sat in a nice part of mediterranean nature, some of his favourite music playing, just the two of them and the clouds as they drifted by. He could really see the beauty in this. Hanzo knew how to take care of himself. This was perfect.

They wandered around afterwards, both of them mellowed out with the atmosphere of the sun having begun its descent, Hanzo sometimes pointing out buildings and taking pictures, Jesse mostly smiling at him as he did. He didn’t know why he loved this architecture geek. He just really, really did.

 

They had dinner at a nice, almost hidden plaza in the middle of a series of old buildings, finding a charming neapolitan pizza place, exactly what Hanzo had hoped for. Jesse got a classic pizza margherita, ‘the original red, white, and green of the flag’, while Hanzo opted for the quattro stagioni. Jesse was sceptical about artichokes on pizza, but he was down to try anything. They ordered a bottle of wine with it, which they both only really had one glass of during dinner, but after Hanzo asked in what Jesse assumed was great Italian if he could take the bottle with them, the waiter, who was a nearly-stigmatising enthusiastic older man allowed it with no problem.

So soon enough, the two were back at their hotel room, leaning out of the window, toasting their hotel glasses of restaurant wine, and kissing again. 999,934. Good progress already. The relaxed time in the park when nobody was really around shaved off a number.

 

“So, I do know this hotel has a rooftop terrace.” Jesse started.

“Really?” Hanzo begun, already laughing at what he knew Jesse suggested. “You’re really pushing to get us to relive that movie, aren’t you?”

“I mean, first of all, we’ve got a bottle of wine here to finish, and unlike them, we’ve already kissed like a hundred times today.”

“Fine, alright. But if we get in trouble with hotel management for going up there, I’m telling them it was your idea.”

 

Hanzo’s jokes were quickly muted as they got to the old and definitely not meant to be public rooftop, allowing a decent view over a good part of the city. Time had flown by, so by the time the two were back at the hotel, the sky had already gone dark. It wasn’t quite the Tour Montparnasse, but a scenic view over rooftops, seeing the paths that weaved between them, and the many lights in the distance, was just as romantic.

Jesse reached out to hold Hanzo’s hand, and took a sip of wine.

 

“It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?” He begun.

“It is. Almost prettier than you.” Hanzo joked in return, squeezing Jesse’s hand.

“I’ll take it, you know. It’s fucking amazing. I swear.”

Hanzo took a sip and moved and swung around his boyfriend as the latter shivered, both of them having forgotten that the air would cool down as much as it did and neither of them wearing anything resembling warm clothes..

“Would you say I did a good job with my birthday?” Hanzo asked.

“I’d say you did a stellar job. Even I’m impressed, it was somehow the most amazing day even for me. Somehow you made it romantic as fuck, too.”

“It’s the wine and the lights. But I’m glad.” Hanzo took the opportunity to turn Jesse around and kiss him again, and again, and again. “Wish I could look both at you and the view. I can’t choose.”

“I’m flattered” Jesse laughed, before kissing him quickly. “I’ll take you. I’m good with this.”

“Alright then, let’s do that.” Hanzo agreed, kissing him more deeply this time.

The two continued like that for a minute before Jesse pulled away again, smiled, and turned around to finish his wine.

 

“Y’know”, He continued after a few minutes of silence, just rubbing Hanzo’s hand with his thumb in the meantime and slowly moving around his wine in the glass. “when I moved into my apartment in Boston, I never expected to be in Rome with my substitute professor a year later.”

Hanzo laughed. It was an impossible situation, after all. Almost impossible. Because it all had happened.

“Well, when I moved to Boston a little less than a year ago for a teaching gig, I never expected… Well, I never expected to find a true friend there. That was my first surprise.”

“How many surprises have there been since then?”

“Too many… Too many to recall.” Hanzo smiled back, finishing his glass and setting it down.

 

“You know, Jesse...”

“What is it, Han?” Jesse said, before quickly finishing his glass - too quickly.

“I... I am surprised.”

 

Hanzo took the bottle of wine, abandoned the glasses and simply swigging.

 

“For a guy who went to college to study architecture with no prior interest in it... you sure do know a lot about it.”

 

Jesse laughed.

 

“Oh, Han, y’know… I like to pretend.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, that was it! Finally, I've finished the final chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> I just want to thank each and every reader for their love and support, because it's been so overwhelming for me to know that you guys all loved it so much.
> 
> This is the final chapter, yes, and I'm honestly... sad to let these two guys go for now, but I know they'll always be here, or in my backup google document.
> 
>  
> 
> If you want to ask any questions or talk to me about this fic or future fics - leave a comment or ask me it at https://prismbird.tumblr.com/! I'll be absolutely very happy to hear anything you want to say.
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for the ride, Jesse, Hanzo. Maybe i'll see you again later. I'll miss you.


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